by James Alexander-Sinclair
Everybody loves a bonfire: it's one of those autumn things. Smoke that is both acrid and nut sweet, flames lighting up the gloom...
Everybody loves a bonfire: it's one of those autumn things. Smoke that is both acrid and nut sweet, flames lighting up the gloom of an encircling dusk and the delicious sensation of having a hot face and cold toes. Since we moved here, however, I've resisted burning much in the way of garden refuse as I compost everything I can.
Once a year I rent a great big shredder for a weekend and the peace of the countryside is completely disrupted as I spend a couple of happy days half-deafened and covered in dust. The result is a great big pile of chipped debris just perfect for the compost heap.
That, at least, is the plan. Unfortunately, due a mixture of disorganisation, rushing about and inertia I failed to rent the machine last year, so I have two years' worth of detritus sitting in an open shed. Now, some of you may have seen pictures of my garden before and will have realised that there are lots of plants crammed in here. As a result there is a small mountain of stuff that I need to shred.
This brings us to another problem. There are certain things that don't agree with either compost heaps or shredders. Diseased plant material shouldn't be composted, as the process might not kill the spores of, for example, potato blight or rust. Rose clippings should also be avoided; it's no fun to run your hand through a pile of compost and end up with a whopping great thorn in your finger.
The mortal enemies of every shredder are grasses. They are almost guaranteed to block the machine and lead to time spent lying on the floor cutting out bits of recalcitrant fibre from the mechanism, while swearing and bruising tender areas of one's person. Even the ever-efficient Alys Fowler has the same problem at Berryfields! My solution to this is to have a bonfire.
Much more fun, less noisy and the ash will add a bit of oomph to the compost heap - provided you use it in moderation. I'm lucky that I live in the countryside and nobody is likely to grumble. Those of you in towns and cities need, obviously, to consider wind direction and time of day before getting out the matches. Lighting up on a sunny Saturday with a light breeze just after one neighbour has hung out the sheets and the other is having a party is unlikely to make you terribly popular.
Finally, if you ever come into contact with any of these excrescences, do everybody a favour and burn them immediately!
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