Ging, the male flower is just a flower on a stalk. The female flower is on the end of what looks like a miniature version of the fruit. It's actually an ovary that will become a fruit if pollinated.
Male flowers always outnumber females. The female flower opens in the mornings - usually early - and will often close later in the day.
If you want to try your hand at pollinating, you need to get up early. Remove a male flower, trim away the "petals" to expose the stamen covered with pollen. At the centre of an open female flower is the stigma. Rub the pollen-covered stamen gently against the stigma to transfer the pollen. Don't be too vigorous. Damage the stigma and and all is lost.
You usually get a day or so's notice of the female flower opening. First, you see the ovary forming, then the flower forming on the end of it. When the flower is formed but still closed, you can expect it to open within a day or so. At that point, it's worthwhile checking every morning.