London (change)
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21/02/2014 at 20:47

Some helpful replies. Most poster know about my neighbour, as regards the fence which sounds about the same hieght as the one built by my neighbour.I built a trellis a ft into my property to grow stuff on, which has been fine but the fence is falling down into the garden now. The jury's still out as to what to do about that little problem, I put a lock on the gate so he has to knock on the front door to talk about it. The point is he can't enter my garden without me knowing about it, he certainly can't lift the fence and just stroll in. 

There have always been children in the house on the other side, it's rented but the owners did once live there and are actually nice people. I got sick of the family with lots of children who would play cricket in the garden every summer. They would knock on the front door though for their balls but spending entire afternoons answering it was no fun. In the end we took out a narrow panel near the house so they could just come and get their balls so long as they hadn't landed in the veg plot and we agreed if anyone hit the ball over the fence they lost a run instead of gaining one. 

Then there is the current family with small children who complained the cat was pooing in their garden, I bought them water pistols and they spent several fun filled days squirting the cat if she went into their garden, the rule was they could only squirt if she was on the fence or in their garden but not if she was sat at the gap in the fence and on my side. She soon learnt to sit at the gap and the children would come over and stroke her. They were most upset when she died.

The point I'm making is you can sometimes work it out with some neighbours but not with others. I find it easier just to ignore neighbour from hell but keeping a diary of not nice stuff helps if you want to make a complaint about them, taking pics also helps so long as you tell them why your doing it.       

21/02/2014 at 20:48

 didn't realise I'd written so much.

23/02/2014 at 10:39

I always have to edit my posts down. I don't mind long answers, but I really hate long questions, and I often just move on to the next after a couple of rambling lines, 'Get tot he point or I walk'. I get enough of those at work, at least I can butt in there though.

23/02/2014 at 10:41

Zoomer - good people skills!!! 

23/02/2014 at 10:43

I'm too slow at typing to ask a long question or give a long answer

Everyone would have gone to bed before I got there

23/02/2014 at 10:50
Fairygirl wrote (see)

You can't reason with unreasonable people. 

Oh, I'm so glad to hear someone else say that. That has always been my motto. Unreasonable people are by definition, unreasonable. There's not going to be a good outcome no matter what, it's disaster management. All you can do is stay neutral, stay out of their radar, and above all do not try to teach them a lesson no matter how tactfully and no matter how much you think it's going to benefit them. They're just too blooming thick to realise. 

23/02/2014 at 10:52
nutcutlet wrote (see)

I'm too slow at typing to ask a long question or give a long answer

Everyone would have gone to bed before I got there

, unfortunately I touch type, so I can ramble as much when I'm typing as when I'm talking on the phone. And you get malaprops, spoonerisms and the odd word or phrase someone in the background was saying. It's a curse. 

23/02/2014 at 10:55

Yes, I touch type too so that's why I ramble on so .........................

23/02/2014 at 10:56


Dovefromabove wrote (see)

Yes, I touch type too so that's why I ramble on so .........................


But in the nicest way Dove.

23/02/2014 at 11:27

What a shame - having nasty neighbours can seriously upset one's enjoyment of a garden.  Last weekend, the fence between our drive and our neighbour's blew down - the posts had rotted at the bottom.  Our poor neighbour spent the day replacing them, and mending the fence panels, plank by plank, and even came round our side with a pot of fence paint (to match our own colour) and painted our side - all the time being buffeted by a strong wind.  As a result, there is downstairs a box of chocolates, a bottle of wine and a thank you card, on which we volunteered to go halves should the day come when he decides his fence is only good for firewood.  We so much appreciate his hard work, especially as my OH is not well, and it takes him a long time to get round to jobs like that.  Tried to deliver it Friday but they weren't in.  This thread has reminded me to try again today.  Fortunately all of us in this row have children, and there is an unspoken 'chuckback' arrangement, although I am not always sure which toys are ours or theirs.  I think there is a gulf between the understanding of the role of a garden of parents and gardeners.  People with children see a garden as a play area, for letting off steam, and forget that for others, a garden is a place of calm and contemplation.  But there is no excuse not to pay for serious damage done to property, such as a greenhouse.  Most of the damage here is done by our own inmates.

23/02/2014 at 11:46

BB2 - that's the kind of neighbour who's worth their weight in gold, but sadly they are few and far between. At least you appreciate the fact - unlike many others. My problem here is that some people think my garden is their children's play area, and seem to believe I have no right to tell them otherwise.  Jim - unreasonable doesn't even begin to cover it.  

A situation when I was out for dinner with my girls last week highlighted again the way many people view their children's  behaviour. 

23/02/2014 at 11:58

Jim - you are very kind 

23/02/2014 at 12:34

We only have 4' fences either side of us. Glad to say the neighbours are fine. My husband wouldn't let me put a trellis on top in case "it was against the rules"!!! In fact it is our 8 grand children and their fathers who knock the balls over the fences! I did ask hubby to put up netting, but he is black & white about things.Any way, none of you have mentioned the gorgeous early flowering Quince/Japonica. Mine is growing against a wooden trellis in the shady, very windy corridor, against my wheelie bin area. Salmon pink flowers (or other colours to choose) nice thorns, and then quince apples to add to an apple pie in autumn. I wouldn't touch Ivy, it will bring the fence down in time.

23/02/2014 at 12:57

If all else fails - a sniper on the top of your shed should do the trick Duncan...

I'm kidding - just in case the 'literal' police are reading 

I mentioned quince Janet - it's a lovely shrub isn't it? I fancy the white one  for my back fence if I can squeeze one in somewhere. Nice for early spring when it's a wet dreary day and I'm inside looking out!

Good luck with it Duncan, whatever route you go down. It's possibly best to build a defence and not get too involved in case you get targeted. Wrong I know, as bullying should not go unchallenged, but ignorance in others is very hard to deal with successfully. We're all here to support you with it and offer help anyway. 

23/02/2014 at 13:01

I think zoomer has it spot on.  So diplomacy first 

23/02/2014 at 16:58

Yes, then, the sniper.  

If you get a quince FG choose one the ones that have good fruit too. That way you'll get a double wammy. They smell incredible, the fruit that is. I went for:

Chaenomeles japonica Cido

Chaenomeles speciosa Nivalis 

Chaenomeles speciosa 'Pink Lady'

I got a respectable crop the first year too. 

23/02/2014 at 17:48
I have decided on not erecting a fence/barrier because these idiots would just remove their fence and use mine. So the lovely Pyracantha is the way forward, red and yellow varieties. I tidied up around my shed yesterday while I had chance to get in the garden, filled a black bag full of rubbish from next door.

Soon as they put up their new fence I'll get the mother in law round to help plant them out as she loves gardening and I can just boss her about (if she reads this I'm dead).

Funny that a sniper was mentioned, my son is the TA and has been forward for sniper training.
23/02/2014 at 17:53

Makes sense Duncan. ,

Good idea about the mother in law doing the planting......pyracantha has vicious thorns. 

23/02/2014 at 18:02

' I don't mind long answers, but I really hate long questions, and I often just move on to the next after a couple of rambling lines, 'Get tot he point or I walk'. I get enough of those at work, at least I can butt in there though. '


Trouble is Jim, we tend to get quite a few posts here where the problem is too subtle or too complicated for a two-line question. Then we have to post back to find out the details of the problem before we can offer useful advice.

24/02/2014 at 11:18

Oh, By the way, sorry Duncan this is in no way a reflection on your question, it just happens to be on your thread so, again sorry for that. I appreciate that Joe, and I don't think I was laying down any rules, as if I could.  nor was I being very serious, hence all the 's  

What I meant was  this kind of thing.

Well, we've got a really long drive that goes all the way around the house which my mother in law says would be more suited to Downton Abbey than our three bedroom Bungalow in Surrey. My neighbour has a wonderful Worcester Pearmain apple tree that casts a lovely shade over the gravel that seems to dance in the wind making it look like a hundred fairies are throwing a ball just for me.

Well, the garden is about three times longer than the drive is wide and we buy eggs every Wednesday from Lidle because there cheaper than Sainsbury's. Well, when I was in Sainsbury's the week before last or was it two weeks last Tuesday. Well, I got chatting to the lady on the checkout who told me there was a great sale on in Homebase, you should pop over there when you've finished and see what they've got.

So, when I finished paying I wished the checkout girl a Happy Easter and went over to Homebase. On the way I popped into the B&Q where they had a sale on tomato plants. Next to the tomatoes was a big stand of Chilli plants. Does anyone know if they'll be okay next the willow tree?

That's what I'm talking about Joe. But I really wasn't very serious. I just don't read those questions so they don't get an answer from me, they're probably not bothered either or any the wiser, I was just giving my thoughts. No pressure to comply with them. That's all. Did you get here? Well done.  

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