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03/04/2013 at 19:14
What did the nasty say to the other nasty? Erwigo. Sorry folks, that's MY best Can you beat that ?
03/04/2013 at 19:40

Why do potatoes make good detectives?
Because they keep their eyes peeled. 

 

03/04/2013 at 19:49

Why do melons habe big weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.  (Sorry)

03/04/2013 at 20:21

Gardening requires a lot of water - most of it in the form of perspiration. 

03/04/2013 at 20:28

"What did the carrot say to the wheat? 
Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet."

 

03/04/2013 at 20:47
Gardening Grandma wrote (see)

Why do melons habe big weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.  (Sorry)

 

03/04/2013 at 20:54
Mine is winning so far. Ha ha
Come on folks
There is prize of elbow grease for the best joke
03/04/2013 at 21:09

To be sung to the tune of Frere Jacques;

'Life is but a, life is but a, melancholy flower, melancholy flower,

Life is butter melon, life is butter melon, cauliflower, cauliflower.'

03/04/2013 at 21:12

Verdun, that is brilliant

There was a young farmer of Leeds,

Who swallowed six packets of seeds,

It soon came to pass

He was covered in grass

And he couldn't sit down for the weeds.

 

Not technically a joke...

 

03/04/2013 at 21:14
Jess, now that was funny. Winning so far
03/04/2013 at 21:18

Jess 

03/04/2013 at 21:19

cheers me dears

03/04/2013 at 21:25

my 5 yr old's favourite is:

why did the tomato blush?

because it saw the salad dressing!

 

aaaah!

03/04/2013 at 21:44

Gardener to friend: ‘Do you know where I could get some slug pellets round here?’

Friend: ‘Have you tried Boots?’

Gardener: ‘ I want to poison them, not kick them to death.’

03/04/2013 at 22:01

Tina 

03/04/2013 at 22:21
TinaTurner wrote (see)

Gardener to friend: ‘Do you know where I could get some slug pellets round here?’

Friend: ‘Have you tried Boots?’

Gardener: ‘ I want to poison them, not kick them to death.’

I bet that gardener wasn't our friend ManicSlugHunter who would probably prefer the boots!

03/04/2013 at 22:48

A mother found her small child eating a slug. "Oh no" she said, trying to wipe the infant's mouth. Then she couldn't resist asking "what did it taste like?" "Worms" said the child.

03/04/2013 at 22:56
I've got an ongoing problem with a mole! It keeps on giving out confidential information to other gardeners!
03/04/2013 at 23:02

Think you're right there Bob.

03/04/2013 at 23:13

A man walks into the doctors with a parsnip in one ear, a carrot in the other and his nostrils blocked with broadbeans.

"What's wrong with me, Doctor?"

"You need to eat more sensibly!"

1 to 20 of 455 messages