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Diddydoit

A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch. 
He picks it up and throws it across the street.
A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.
The snail looks up and says, "What the f..k was *that* all about?"

Diddydoit

                 

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Diddydoit

I man walks into a bar ,ouch that hurt he said.

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gardenjeannie

Clueless, are they ALWAYS ON THE STARBOARD BOW?

gardenjeannie

Ok, Diddy. Isn't the saying something like 'Be careful what you ask for?!  I think I learned the meaning of that just now!  Should have left your jokes to other threads!  Only joking.  I 'GOT' and laughed at,nearly all of them ! And thanks for taking the hints to come here.

A man meets a genie, as you do, who grants him one wish. " I want to live forever" he says. " I can't grant those sort of wishes " the genie said, " ok, I want to live until England win the world cup again then" you crafty git " said the genie.

Hey!  Just thought of this

 

Whats the the most miserable dessert?

Apple Grumble.    Good eh?  

Hey Verdun .....that was a cracking joke.   

Thanks dove.  You're not just humouring me now are you?   (do like these smilies now I can use them)

Busy-Lizzie

That was an excellent joke Verdun. Not dirty, not too long

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Well, since I know you lot aren't humouring me I have a lot more of those jokes you all like.......

Busy-Lizzie

Well, what are you waiting for? Out with them!

gardeningfantic

where do cats keep their money...

 

in their purr...se da tah!

A purrfect joke I think gardeningfantic.....

It's so annoying.  I want to water my lawn but it's raining