London (change)
21/02/2014 at 14:28

It isn't any sort of cake because it's confiscated

21/02/2014 at 15:21

Honestly you lot - I don't come on here for a few days and when I do, Verdun's still talking about cakes...I'll have to put you on a diet....

But here's a joke, since I'm sure you've missed my quality quips -

What's green and square?

A lemon in disguise. 

21/02/2014 at 15:29

Wots a lemon in disguise?   A melon ha ha 

21/02/2014 at 16:33

No cake!!  Oh dear, we'll just have to eat bread!  Being a gardener, I'll be able to have Home Grown potatoes and carrots with it!

What Diet are we getting?  I hope it is the Diet Of Worms - 'cos that was only a lot of people chatting anyway!!   Sounds right for gardeners too!!

21/02/2014 at 16:40

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

21/02/2014 at 16:41

So he could hide in a cherry tree without being seen 

21/02/2014 at 16:43

21/02/2014 at 17:18

That was a dumb o joke Dove 

21/02/2014 at 17:24

And how do you know when the elephant's been in the fridge Dove?

Footprints in the butter....

They like using the telephone make trunk calls.....

And holidaying in Tusk-any...

Th th th that's all folks! 

That's ok - no applause necessary for those fine specimens 

21/02/2014 at 17:32

He he fairy, you've been missed. 

21/02/2014 at 17:51

Hey, that's impressive fairy 

21/02/2014 at 17:59

I know Verd. And my modesty is even more impressive - as you know so well  

They weren't strictly garden-y jokes so here's a better one:

What do you call  two banana skins?

A pair of slippers.

I'm definitely getting better at this....

21/02/2014 at 18:02

New gardeners learn by trowel and error. 

21/02/2014 at 18:27

21/02/2014 at 19:00

Lily, that was a great joke.....I almost fork got that one 

21/02/2014 at 20:21


21/02/2014 at 20:22

I used to be a gardener

But I lost the plot

21/02/2014 at 20:56

When weeding the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

If it comes out of the ground easily, it's a valuable plant.

22/02/2014 at 00:35

At large in the garden

My sister's a treasure

She's ruined my seedlings

By trowel and error!!

Ashleigh.   If it comes out of the ground easily, it is you that is the weed!!!

22/02/2014 at 00:38

If you are offered muddy coffee, you will probably find that it was ground very recently!!