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21/02/2014 at 20:56

When weeding the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.

If it comes out of the ground easily, it's a valuable plant.

22/02/2014 at 00:35

At large in the garden

My sister's a treasure

She's ruined my seedlings

By trowel and error!!

Ashleigh.   If it comes out of the ground easily, it is you that is the weed!!!

22/02/2014 at 00:38

If you are offered muddy coffee, you will probably find that it was ground very recently!!

KEF
22/02/2014 at 07:17

22/02/2014 at 10:18

I like that one YJ. Reminds me of the episode of Blackadder with Baldrick's dubious coffee!  

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because he couldn't find a date...

I think that's up to my usual standard Verdun 

22/02/2014 at 10:52

What do you call a lady horse race enthusiast who is still wearing her Ascot flower covered hat at Christmas?

A seed head!  

22/02/2014 at 19:23

I suppose you can get them all in a garden,,,,,,,,,, So --

If a centipede a pint, how much would a precipice?

 

Of course  ----   A sheer drop!!

22/02/2014 at 20:34

What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global worming.

22/02/2014 at 20:42
Verdun wrote (see)

What do you call a pigeon that talks too much

 

 

 

 

a dove ,     Oopppps I'll get my coat

You know what's going to happen don't you Verdun?

 

 

 

 

 

http://s4.gardenersworld.com/uploads/images/original/38091.gif?width=37&height=49&mode=max

 

22/02/2014 at 22:38

Was that Verdun? It only has 7 posts?

22/02/2014 at 22:45

No thats not verdun. its the alter ego again.

22/02/2014 at 22:52

Reported  - its like catching the kitchen spammers

22/02/2014 at 23:09

It's Brumbull. The names just changed on my 'ignored' list.

22/02/2014 at 23:13

The threads that Brumbull started now say they were started by Verdun.

22/02/2014 at 23:17

He's changed his name, if you 'ignore' the false Verdun the real one is still here.

I didn't know you could use an already taken name.

23/02/2014 at 03:42

Just had really enjoyed re-finding this thread,was crying laughing, even at Verdun! Now I find that it, too is infected. I believe Ashleigh mentioned weeds? However pernicious, even the worst can eventually be rooted out to allow the true flowers to bloom.

I wish I could remember even one joke to get this thread back on it's feet after a not so good day, but as I can only remember rude jokes, I feel they may be disallowed!.

I do have a little ditty, but you'll have to imagine the wee tune!

 

'When I was a walking with my brother Jim

Somebody threw a tomato at 'im

Now tomatoes is soft and they don't 'urt the skin

But this beggar did, it wus still in the tin'

 

There are others;-

To market to market to buy a fat cow

To milk it to milk it, she did not know how

So she pulled on it's tail instead of it's T**

And poor little Lucy got covered in s***

 

Maybe the moderators will get me me 'at, now

 

Come on now , Verdun, Fairy, Dove, KEF, and everyone. Pathetic soft bullies can't ruin our fun. Give your worst!

 

23/02/2014 at 05:30

Two snowmen are standing in a field.

One turns to the other and says "Can you smell carrots"?

23/02/2014 at 05:33

I had two pet chimpanzees who unfortunately died. I was very fond of them so decided to preserve their memory and took them to a taxidermist to have them stuffed.

"Would you like them mounted Sir" asked the taxidermist?

"No thanks" I said, "holding hands will do!"

23/02/2014 at 07:21

Well, I wish I'd given him a harder spanking now 

 

It did seem a little odd as it wasn't funny .......... but then, we're used to Verdun's jokes................. maybe I should get my coat 

23/02/2014 at 09:07

Well said gardenjeannie.

Hey Dove.....my jokes are soooooo funny.  Hmmmm

(would never post a nasty, sarcastic, personal or upsetting "joke" though. I saw the post supposedly from me yesterday.  because I have ignored "him" and his aliases I didn't realise it was posted.

Whats the most wealthy plant in the garden?  Mint.....minted?   Ok, not good!  Ha ha 

401 to 420 of 476 messages