Register with us or sign in
When weeding the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it.
If it comes out of the ground easily, it's a valuable plant.
At large in the garden
My sister's a treasure
She's ruined my seedlings
By trowel and error!!
Ashleigh. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is you that is the weed!!!
If you are offered muddy coffee, you will probably find that it was ground very recently!!
I like that one YJ. Reminds me of the episode of Blackadder with Baldrick's dubious coffee!
Why did the tomato go out with the prune?
Because he couldn't find a date...
I think that's up to my usual standard Verdun
What do you call a lady horse race enthusiast who is still wearing her Ascot flower covered hat at Christmas?
A seed head!
I suppose you can get them all in a garden,,,,,,,,,, So --
If a centipede a pint, how much would a precipice?
Of course ---- A sheer drop!!
What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Verdun wrote (see)
What do you call a pigeon that talks too much a dove , Oopppps I'll get my coat
What do you call a pigeon that talks too much
a dove , Oopppps I'll get my coat
You know what's going to happen don't you Verdun?
Was that Verdun? It only has 7 posts?
No thats not verdun. its the alter ego again.
Reported - its like catching the kitchen spammers
It's Brumbull. The names just changed on my 'ignored' list.
The threads that Brumbull started now say they were started by Verdun.
He's changed his name, if you 'ignore' the false Verdun the real one is still here.
I didn't know you could use an already taken name.
Just had really enjoyed re-finding this thread,was crying laughing, even at Verdun! Now I find that it, too is infected. I believe Ashleigh mentioned weeds? However pernicious, even the worst can eventually be rooted out to allow the true flowers to bloom.
I wish I could remember even one joke to get this thread back on it's feet after a not so good day, but as I can only remember rude jokes, I feel they may be disallowed!.
I do have a little ditty, but you'll have to imagine the wee tune!
'When I was a walking with my brother Jim
Somebody threw a tomato at 'im
Now tomatoes is soft and they don't 'urt the skin
But this beggar did, it wus still in the tin'
There are others;-
To market to market to buy a fat cow
To milk it to milk it, she did not know how
So she pulled on it's tail instead of it's T**
And poor little Lucy got covered in s***
Maybe the moderators will get me me 'at, now
Come on now , Verdun, Fairy, Dove, KEF, and everyone. Pathetic soft bullies can't ruin our fun. Give your worst!
Two snowmen are standing in a field.
One turns to the other and says "Can you smell carrots"?
I had two pet chimpanzees who unfortunately died. I was very fond of them so decided to preserve their memory and took them to a taxidermist to have them stuffed.
"Would you like them mounted Sir" asked the taxidermist?
"No thanks" I said, "holding hands will do!"
Well, I wish I'd given him a harder spanking now
It did seem a little odd as it wasn't funny .......... but then, we're used to Verdun's jokes................. maybe I should get my coat
Well said gardenjeannie.
Hey Dove.....my jokes are soooooo funny. Hmmmm
(would never post a nasty, sarcastic, personal or upsetting "joke" though. I saw the post supposedly from me yesterday. because I have ignored "him" and his aliases I didn't realise it was posted.
Whats the most wealthy plant in the garden? Mint.....minted? Ok, not good! Ha ha