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KEF

Fairygirl

I like that one YJ. Reminds me of the episode of Blackadder with Baldrick's dubious coffee!  

Why did the tomato go out with the prune?

Because he couldn't find a date...

I think that's up to my usual standard Verdun 

BobTheGardener

What do you call a lady horse race enthusiast who is still wearing her Ascot flower covered hat at Christmas?

A seed head!  

I suppose you can get them all in a garden,,,,,,,,,, So --

If a centipede a pint, how much would a precipice?

 

Of course  ----   A sheer drop!!

star gaze lily

What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global worming.

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Dovefromabove
Verdun wrote (see)

What do you call a pigeon that talks too much

 

 

 

 

a dove ,     Oopppps I'll get my coat

You know what's going to happen don't you Verdun?

 

 

 

 

 


 

Busy-Lizzie

Was that Verdun? It only has 7 posts?

fidgetbones

No thats not verdun. its the alter ego again.

chicky

Reported  - its like catching the kitchen spammers

nutcutlet

It's Brumbull. The names just changed on my 'ignored' list.

Busy-Lizzie

The threads that Brumbull started now say they were started by Verdun.

nutcutlet

He's changed his name, if you 'ignore' the false Verdun the real one is still here.

I didn't know you could use an already taken name.

gardenjeannie

Just had really enjoyed re-finding this thread,was crying laughing, even at Verdun! Now I find that it, too is infected. I believe Ashleigh mentioned weeds? However pernicious, even the worst can eventually be rooted out to allow the true flowers to bloom.

I wish I could remember even one joke to get this thread back on it's feet after a not so good day, but as I can only remember rude jokes, I feel they may be disallowed!.

I do have a little ditty, but you'll have to imagine the wee tune!

 

'When I was a walking with my brother Jim

Somebody threw a tomato at 'im

Now tomatoes is soft and they don't 'urt the skin

But this beggar did, it wus still in the tin'

 

There are others;-

To market to market to buy a fat cow

To milk it to milk it, she did not know how

So she pulled on it's tail instead of it's T**

And poor little Lucy got covered in s***

 

Maybe the moderators will get me me 'at, now

 

Come on now , Verdun, Fairy, Dove, KEF, and everyone. Pathetic soft bullies can't ruin our fun. Give your worst!

 

Keyser Soze

Two snowmen are standing in a field.

One turns to the other and says "Can you smell carrots"?

Keyser Soze

I had two pet chimpanzees who unfortunately died. I was very fond of them so decided to preserve their memory and took them to a taxidermist to have them stuffed.

"Would you like them mounted Sir" asked the taxidermist?

"No thanks" I said, "holding hands will do!"

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Dovefromabove

Well, I wish I'd given him a harder spanking now 

 

It did seem a little odd as it wasn't funny .......... but then, we're used to Verdun's jokes................. maybe I should get my coat 

Well said gardenjeannie.

Hey Dove.....my jokes are soooooo funny.  Hmmmm

(would never post a nasty, sarcastic, personal or upsetting "joke" though. I saw the post supposedly from me yesterday.  because I have ignored "him" and his aliases I didn't realise it was posted.

Whats the most wealthy plant in the garden?  Mint.....minted?   Ok, not good!  Ha ha 

Dovefromabove
Verdun wrote (see)

Well said gardenjeannie.

Hey Dove.....my jokes are soooooo funny.  Hmmmm

(would never post a nasty, sarcastic, personal or upsetting "joke" though. I saw the post supposedly from me yesterday.  because I have ignored "him" and his aliases I didn't realise it was posted.

.... 

Would take a lot more than that 'joke'  to upset me, but I did wonder if I'd missed something - but I'd had a G&T 

Then there was the Jewish boy who really did not like Paa Snips and was not fond of Garden Pe-s if the weather was cold.