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11/09/2013 at 20:54

 Made lol xxx

11/09/2013 at 23:04

He, He, He!  

I like this thread. Like your songs, Charlie.

Birdy, that's good.

But Gilly and Verdun, must try harder!

So here's some more bad ones, only very loosely gardening based!


What's the difference between a goat and a goldfish?

One mucks about in fountains!


Following on from Birdy's policeman, and imaging fairies in your garden:

Difference between a faiy's wand and a policeman's truncheon?

Once is for cunning stunts!


And, to finish, a tongue twister. Say five times fast

I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son.

On that note, I shall go away to catch up with Tea's saga!

That's all folks. Beep Beep!

12/09/2013 at 00:02

Gardenjeannie.  You get today's star prize!

12/09/2013 at 01:53

OH, WOW, OH WOO, I won something!!  Made my day!

Thanks, Verdun, but that's me all joked out now!  I look forward to hearing more of everyone else's.

Diddy seems conspicous by absence here.  Been telling jokes on the 'barking dog' thread. Not that I'mm telling tales or anything........

14/09/2013 at 09:29

Not really a Joke but made me smile

I am desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

1 quote


14/09/2013 at 09:32

Don't know....I'm clueless.  Oh no, that's ??ou isn't it?.......

14/09/2013 at 10:00

jeannie- all my stunts are cunning...

and in the best possible taste....

14/09/2013 at 10:47

My planting choices: still staring at portugese laurel and yew in front garden and wondering what to do!

14/09/2013 at 20:59

HEHEHE!  I never knew that till you said, Clueless! Waste of money, I'd say! 

OH, Verdun!!!

FG, don't remind me of Kenny Everett, I'll have to find him on youtube now to show kids.

On radio 2 yesterday, I discovered that the toilet was invented by Thomas Crapper!  did anyone else know that? Presumably that is why we 'go for a c**p'!  The boys and I giggled all night!


14/09/2013 at 21:20

Just found these frou Diddy on 'get it off your chest', so I hope he won't mind that I put them here for more to laugh at!

Diddydoit4u wrote (see)

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

Why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?Because she's probably thick and tired of it!

Why did Captain Kirk's wife have a turd on her head?Because William Shatner!

Sorry folks its been one of those days, i do appologise.Sorry.


I was peeing myself at the last one!

15/09/2013 at 07:56

don't forget the Klingons Jeannie




17/09/2013 at 17:26

Woodburners are magic. Whether your logs are Beech, Birch or Oak, they all get turned to Ash.

Blame Nutcutlet.

17/09/2013 at 17:29

17/09/2013 at 19:28

Naughty Diddie/Jeannie! 

I seem to remember that QI dispelled as a myth that belief about Thomas Crapper - sorry to be boringly knowledgeable  ! 

(No I'm not!) 

17/09/2013 at 20:00

Jeanie i have copy write on all my jokes,but i will let you off just this once as long as it makes people smile.

17/09/2013 at 20:03

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

17/09/2013 at 20:04
  • Why did the baker rob the bank?
  • He needed the dough.
17/09/2013 at 20:07

Have you ever smelled moth balls?
How did you manage to get his little legs open?

17/09/2013 at 20:11

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

17/09/2013 at 20:14
161 to 180 of 497 messages