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07/09/2013 at 16:30

Haha ha you silly fool.


07/09/2013 at 16:48

pmsl td

07/09/2013 at 17:28
Diddydoit4u wrote (see)

So what's happened to you today?

I have just had one of the most embarrasing moment's in my life.I do want to state that i do not wish to lower the tone of the site but...... I have just had some mates over and one was a suiter for my recently divorced daughter.we were all sat around having a drink or three And due to a lack of seating,due to the volume of people my wife and granddaughter were sat on the floor,every thing was flowing fine when all of a sudden my wife let out one almighty f..t I have never been so embarressed in all my life,now if that was me i would of blamed my granddaughter for it.But no she just stands up and say's ooop's sorry.

Can someone dig me a deep hole to hide in?.

Might as well start the way you mean to go on, diddy.

07/09/2013 at 19:24

Oh, this is such a funny thread! Embarrased myself by looking at durex in Sains - was so fancily packaged and some bizarre name like silky smooth (thought it was wax for legs) and at the end of an aisle in a cardboard stand. Reading intently, realised what it was! It's just not something that I would choose to stand and read in such an open place.

07/09/2013 at 19:42

Very funny lol

07/09/2013 at 19:43

sorry to lower the tone waterbuts.

07/09/2013 at 21:24

My husband first met my parents when they came out of their front door to see what idiot had driven into their front wall.

07/09/2013 at 23:57

I am going to reply to some of the last comments here in a min, but this bit is funny, so I'll ad my 2 pennorth. 

First time of meeting my 1st BF's parents, (Dad Spanish and in his 70's), we walked in to find him ranting to Lil, his blind wife. Then he starts on us, before intros. ' you know what that f-----s done? He's swept his leaves up n thrown em over my f----g wall! I've sorted him, tho! there'll be no more leaves in MY yard)'  'Why, what did you do?' I innocently ask. Looking very smug with pipe in mouth, he replied, 'I climbed up on the shed roof and chopped his f---g tree down!'

Just then, the chip pan that Lil had been heating burst into flames and I had to put it out with a tea-towel!  What a first meeting, but I ended up loving them dearly even long after we split, until they died.


Another time, I was in kitchen with Julian senior when the gas man came to read the meter.  I had to leave the room after I saw J's face when the dog peed up the gasmans back while he had his head in the cupboard. Julian didn't tell him, but nearly had a heart attack laughing when he'd gone!

I once had to go to hospital for a barium meal x-ray, and Lil told everyone I had to go for a 'Bavarian Dinner'!

Incidentally, I'm still friends with J junior, nearly 30 yrs later, and think of his parents often.  Lovely people.

08/09/2013 at 00:00

Diddy, beautiful garden.  I put my bananas out for a few hrs to harden them off and the wind came while I was out with dog and shredded all my lovely new leaves.

08/09/2013 at 00:10

Zoomer, FG and Charlie, what do you think about starting a thread for complaints about companies like BT, where we can all share our experiences then perhaps get together for a concerted assault? Charlie, thanks for the link, and please do tell your father's story.

08/09/2013 at 00:27

Diddy and GF, great idea about selling the plants, I have thought about it all yr and not got round to it.  I have a dog grooming bus in my garage and thought to add a sign below my business one. I have far too many plants, and lots that need dividing but I hate to throw any away. I give them to friends, scholl, everyone and still too many. I have an addiction to taking fuchsia cuttings, and have successfully grown twisted stem standards, so thought I may sell some of those too, as we won't be able to move in the house in winter if this keeps on! The thiught of extra garden money without guilt will make me do it at last!

AND did you all know that you can swap £5 worth of tesco vouchers for £15 to spend at T&M, and that you can use them with thier own vouchers in same order?  I recently ordered around £100 worth of plants, used £15 tesco vouchers (£45), a T&M £5 off voucher and got free P&P and qualified for the offers! Spent £50 for £100 worth of plants and seeds and then got 3 £5 vouchers from them when my orders arrived! Needless to say I don't save my tesco vouchers for Xmas anymore!  New order going in later this wk, will let you know what I got!

08/09/2013 at 08:09

Did,nt know that about Tesco vouchers  Jeannie........Brilliant !

08/09/2013 at 10:18

GJ thank you for your compliment,i have wy bananas out all summer long but i was only thinking last night when it went down to 6 degrees i have no where to store them as my greenhouse is still chocker block yet with my tom salads succulents and loads of other plants.If fush comes to shove i will just throw them all out as the banana's and elephant ears will take priority along with the dahlias.

Also who or what is t&m who change your tesco vougher's?

08/09/2013 at 11:40

Just done my morning tour of the garden and the honey bees are plentiful and several butter flies,only a couple of bees though.Everything is looking rather droopy after the heavy dew.That autnm feel is in the air.

08/09/2013 at 15:27

Hi, Gilly, great isn't it?

Diddy, t&m is Thompson and Morgan, plant and seed specialists. Their plants are great quality.  I got mt blueberries from them on last order and they are lovely well-grown plants.Google them.  I guarantee you'll be on there for ages!

08/09/2013 at 15:58

Have to disagree about T&M.  Their catalogue is garish.  The seeds are over-priced.  The germination rates are awful. Mainly vegetable seeds which should be governed by legislation.

True, I know nothing about their plants, I won't even buy their discounted packets of seeds, I have been caught too often by their hype.

08/09/2013 at 16:17

Welsh onion, I've never had a problem with any of their seeds, even very old packets have germinated well. The catalogue does give plenty of info, and I love that I can use my tesco vouchers, so I don't feel guilty about spending too much on plants.  Although I have to agree trhat they are a little dearer than others, the service has always been brilliant and the plants very good quality.

08/09/2013 at 16:52

GJ if it wokrs well for you then dont change,why spoil a good thing.However WO i can also agree with you also that they are very over priced and due to that fact i have never used them ,so i cannot comment on their service or quality of the seeds and the supplier.

08/09/2013 at 17:20
tea drinker wrote (see)

lol waterbutts in my teens i met a lad who worked in a garage he had a motorbike  arranged a date he duly turned up my mum  was standing by the window then said oh my god hells angels have descended into the road  oh no hes coming here i said its ok its clive hes taking me out she opened the front door pointed to the bike and said loud enough for the neighbours to hear "my daughter is NOT going on that " before i could stop him  he said well i gave her a lift home yesterday  "realy well shes not going on it today or any other " he had to wheel it round the back and we had to walk where we were going he was told not to bring me home late and she told him that iffshe saw so much a black hand print on my underwear he would be wearing the bike 

i thought there goes that date but you know he thought she was hilariouse and the next time he came round he bought her a ton of cigarettes certainly won her round  lol

love tea and son and grumpy xxxx

So, er, she smokes a lot but won't have motorbikes around? 


Someone mentioned Boots. Boots sort of bothers me. There's just something about having to tunnel through the tampons and pregnancy tests to find the "active adult" vitamins. I've seen the adverts. You know the ones. "Are you one of those girls for whom time stands still once a month?" I know those things are advertised as allowing us to go on with our active lives. It's just a little odd for a single man to be digging through them for the vitamins.

Then I got to the end of the aisle. "Custom Baby Order Point." Stop. Stare. Think. Shake head. Stare. Finally work it out. Start giggling.

Wouldn't that be awesomely handy, though? "I'll have a 7lb 2oz, girl with straight, dark hair, pale skin that tans rather than burning, no hereditary diseases, green eyes, dimples, Vietnamese cheekbones and nose, Norse physique and ... natural singing talent's a bit expensive but she'll get a lot of pleasure out of it. Let's add that. Due date ... oh, why wait? Is October 5th available? That'll do nicely.

08/09/2013 at 17:47

It's the sign 'Adult Cereals' in our local Tesco that gets me.  What does it mean??

81 to 100 of 191 messages