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Mike I am so much happier to know that Amanda's persistence has paid off. Everyone in your position needs an advocate, whether it be a partner, a son or daugher, a friend or neighbour, we would all do well to think about who would do that for us in that situation, because the NHS is like an enormous ediface, where the people who bang loudest on the doors are the people who get treated first and best. And when you are ill, you just don't have the energy for all that.
My parents generation, who went through the war, always had a habit of imagining that there were other people worse off than themselves, and they didn't want to be a nuisance. But being like that, nowadays, will get you nowhere with medical treatment. With my Dad, we had to transfer treatment from Surrey to Lincolnshire (between operation and follow up - radiotherapy et al), and that was incredibly stressful - exactly the grey area that Dove talks about, self imposed yes, but at the time my mother was in decline, and I couldn't manage their problems from 200 miles away, hold on to my job, deal with having a child and a husband with M.E./chronic fatigue.
The NHS and social services will use 'family' as much as you allow them to, and that is part of what I would want to tell you and Amanda. You both need to be very clear about what she can commit to, given her own situation. The NHS in Surrey were very good at wondering why I wasn't there with my parents, just as the parents of the children to whom I was teaching GCSE and A-level in Lincolnshire were very good at wondering why their child's teacher was off work again.
Hopefully, you do not have some of the complications my dad had (like having macular degeneration in his eyes which meant he couldn't see properly to connect and disconnect the day-bag to the night-bag himself) and insufficient memory to be able to be trusted with his pills - not that he had Alzheimers or anything, just never was that good at remembering things!
The way we had this described to us was that the bladder is like a balloon which inflates and deflates as the urine builds up and is released. Over time, like a balloon which has been blown up and let down, the quality of the rubber, or muscles, will deteriorate a bit. You have had an operation on the balloon, and the less inflating and deflating that goes on, the quicker it will heal - so the catheter takes away the urine before it has a chance to gather and cause a stretch. So unpleasant, and painful as it is, it is doing an important job, and is not so much a leftover from the operation, as an aid to internal healing. When it comes out, your muscles will have to go back to work, and sometimes that requires a bit of re-adjustment. I hope it will be out very soon - if not on Friday then in two weeks as they said. Let us know when your appointments are.
And if you are bored, ring me anyway. You have my number. It is a wet old day here right now, so I can't get on with all the things I wanted to. Hugs as ever - Bee xx
Busy bee makes a good point regarding your muscles needing to get back used to the idea of your bladder filling fully before it is emptied. When the catheter is removed try no to plan any trips out for a couple of days. If you're anything like I was you'll immediately notice that you have to plan your whole day around being close to a loo as your bladder "forgets" how to hold as much fluid and it'll take a few weeks to recover.
BUT and I mean this in my sternest voice don't see this frequent peeing as a reason not to drink as much (WATER! Dash it Mike put down that whiskey bottle you know we mean water!! :P ) It's very important that you keep your fluid levels up and your bladder is flushed through so no germs can take hold.
(23 hours 10 minutes).
BB2 PM on the way.
Hey folks. Yes Mike does listen to what you say and a great big thank you. Hey my tipple of whisky is three parts water. I notice my previous post was cut short. I don't know if I mentioned it. The QE Hosp claim that they had no record of me. It was with them that all this started. Then donning my deerstalker I asks.! How come the Distict nurse know all about me. Sherlock thinks....someone is telling porkies. Nevertheless, come tomorrow Mike will onec again be able to hold his own..................ooooops. Just an expression. Sadly this mess up has really spoiled my trust and appreciation for the urology team, as I have mentioned. Whatever the outcome tomorrow. Catheter out and a big NO ENTRY sign. No way am I goining to have anything else poked...you know where.
Change of subject. Knowing how you beautiful ladies like to keep control over your figures. Just a tease. Mike weighed himself today. Pre-op 14 and a half stone. Today. 13 stone two pounds. For many years I have maintaned the weight of 14.5 stone. Some 30-35 yrs back. I had a very bad bout of shingles. It attacked the left side of my head and face. I was laid up for three months during which time, I lost half my body weight. So the sooner I can get back to walking normal, the sooner the weight will return.
Lots of love to everyone.
Gosh that's a big weight loss Mike and to think the the effort I went to so that I could lose 4 1/2lb last week.....and I still weigh more than you!! I had food poisoning last year and lost 8lb in 4 days, unfortunately as soon as I could eat again (after about a week) it went straight back on!
Seriously though, don't worry about the weight loss for now just worry about getting better. Before you know it you will be out and about and putting it back on....you need chocolates As always, hugs xx
Hey O/L No offense meant. Hey lass....what a hug Luvely jubbly.
No offence taken at all Mike honestly, I hope my post didn't read wrong
Well at last the addiional plumbing/pipework has now gone, for scrap. Very painful just for a split second. Following the demolition. I was expected to demonstrate the now regained working efficency. No go. Eventually the nurse allowed me to retuen home, agreeing that quite often, once in familiar surroundings production picksup. Fair enough soon afterwards things were happenning. Very painful, but at least I can walk about, without seeming to be part of a Charlie Chaplin film. I have to return on Tuesday for a scan. Just to see if the bladder is empying. Then a couple of weeks time, a meeting with the surgeon. This is when I will be given the full details. Then possibly a couple of months time a check-up, including a cystocopy and the start of any radio thereapy etc. The longer they leave it before any further internal investigations......the better. As inwardly there is so much soreness and pain.
On a happier note. My garden looks great from the kitchen window. Many of the roses are out, and the whole area looks viberant and green. Nevertheless I will give it until after the weekend, before inspecting my estate. Well estate sounds posh anyway.
That must be a relief, Mike. Did they say or do anything about the pain?
That's good news Mike about removing the 'spare parts', I hope they can do something about the pain or that it eases on it's own. Now don't be rushing out doing gardening, just enjoy the view of your beautiful flowers. I'm sure they can look after themselves for a little longer after all the years you have given looking after them. Take care and don't over do it xx
Good news Mike, hope pain is easing off. Take care of youself and ditto about doing anything in the garden. Just sit and relax, listen to music, read a book and enjoy just sitting in the garden weather permitting.
Take care very best wishes and hugs Lily xx
Thanks folks. No I haven't been given anything for the pain. Truthfully I don't like to take too many pills etc. I am prescribed 200 soluble paracetemol every two months, fo spinal pain. Problem is. Most manufactured pills etc, usuall carry side effects and heaven knows what. So they are ther in case of emergency. I have studied Homeopathy and find that I get excellent results. So when needed for painrelief. I use Rhus Tox. 30C Within minutes if with homeopathy this is the right remedy, then the patient will begin to feel the benefits. I certainly go along with members mention of muscles etc getting back to normal. Without going into great detail. A certain exit area that should be rounded, is at the moment elongated, so thyis is I assume what is causing most of the pain. Anyway. I am doing my best to remain positive. The dreaded tumour was found, hopefully in it's early stages. That has now been dealt with, and in a way as a kind of thank you. Surely Mike can suffer a bit of painand soreness. On top of that. I have all you loverly folk holding my hand etc. My old dad serverved in both world wars. In the first. He was in the 1st. Batt. Irish Guards. His Fox hole took a direct mustard gas shell. When he came to. He reached out around him. All his mates were gonners. Then he realised. He couldn't see. The gas had blinded him. Thankfull in time his sight returned, although it was an ongoing problem. Unknownto any of us, mum included. It wasn't revealed until his closing day. That the terrible gas had also savagly burned his genital regions. To be honest, it shook me that Mother was not aware of this. Then of course lifestyles wre so different compared to today. In fact. It wasn't until I married Val, that one day on the allottment dada actually began to treat me as an adult. During a chat over lunch break. He admitted that he'd never seen mum in the all together. So much different from today. So mum was really shocked when one day our family GP and friend, exhibited dad's privates to mum. My dad really was a tough guy. He never boasted or talked about the wars. He wasn't a MR universe , but he was strong in all ways. Now knowing what he sufferrred. Inthat way. I would like to be a replica of him. Grin and bare it. See it through. Friends. Plese don't worry about me. Apart from what I might have control over. I love and trust my Grand Creator so much. Even, should I lose this race. He promises so much more..
Mike - strange how the world has changed isn't it. My grandmother once admitted she hadn't seen a chap in the all together until my father was born! While my friends and I all grew up running around the garden in our all together.
Glad you've been disconnected!
Mike, so pleased to hear that your catheter's been removed and that you are feeling more comfortable. Enjoy watching your garden flourish, it will help to keep you positive. Take care.
Clarington. I agree. However the world seems to have gone crazy in more ways than one. For instance the matter of seeing the difference. Most kiddies parade round with other youngsters, toatally oblivious of the difference in ouy antomy. Then a a certain moment, it become cover up time. Looking forward to the present day. OK as a man and having inbuilt whats-its etc, we all at time look and imaginge. That should be that.. sad to say, IMHO peoples self respect seems now to have gone out of the window. For instance the low cut jeans, and the builders bum. Not a pretty site. Then the pregnant mum to be walkinking up the high street with belly naked and distorted belly button on full display. Then the tiny skirts as worn with tights, that tend to magnify a persons shape and form. I like most men naturally tend to notice these things, but in asll honesty. There is a time and place etc. Having been a cop. I can well understand how for instance some guys take the wrong step and end up in trouble. Still that now seems to be the way of the world. For me. I pefer a well dressed woman who indicates she still retains self respect.
Well put Mike I agree with everything you said, people don't have any self respect anymore it's becoming a horrible world to live in, it's very sad
Oh no, don't get depressed - lots of people still have lots of self respect and are kind and honest people - look at all the kindness on here.
Some things aren't the way we personally would like them - but it has ever been thus - but as long as we greet the world with a smile it will be a good place
Of course, things will be much better when I'm in charge - but they haven't told me when it's my turn
Ha ha you make me smile, let me know when your going to be the priminister
I agree too and am hoping my boys will have the sense to bring home 'nice' girls when they eventually get girlfriends. I have to try and keep a slightly open mind and remember that things have changed, although saying that if we look at pictures of girls/ladies in the 60's their skirts were very short so some things haven't changed too much (obviously I am actually too young to remember).