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Lyn
15/03/2013 at 14:27

gardening grandma said

"Anything else is both ill-mannered and stupid. it is undignified and it causes hurt and provokes quarrels. "

And that is why they do it, to provoke quarrels, All the forums have these people, if you defend yourself or the other person, they just love it, that is what they do.

It takes two to quarrel, the best bet is to say absolutely nothing, the thing they hate most is to look at how many people have 'viewed' the thread and see that 'none' have replied, when this happens a few times they will move on to another forum.

I know you feel the need to defend people, but you are playing into the hands of these 'flame baiters'

As for people on the site making nasty comments, we should really feel sorry for them, and think twice before we post to make sure it comes across as correct.

 

Lyn
15/03/2013 at 14:32

Tina, I am sure you did teach your children some things, ie, take themselves to the toilet and clean and wash hands after. How to sit at the table and eat a meal, to put their coats and shoes on, simple things that go completely by the wayside now, there are children that dont have these basic skills and are at a disadvantage when they start school. I must add that of course, not all are like this, but there are a fair few these days.

15/03/2013 at 15:14

Lyn, correct.  Obviously, they are adults now but  I have always felt very proud when friends, neighbours, teachers comment on how sociable and respectful they are.  Where teachers were concerned, they were always naughty politely!! The dyslexic son had an Australian French teacher, just imagine that, who on parents' evening said she was delighted he was so interested in Australiia, but would rather he didn't ask questions in the middle of her French lesson. Grandson, 18, who I brought up also gets the same comments. I'm very proud of them all. 

I have a rant but am a bit apprehensive to say what it is.  Just phoned British Gas and got through to a call centre.  Must have had a crossed line as I couldn't understand a word that was said so am still none the wiser.  There, said it.

15/03/2013 at 15:34

That was a very gentle rant, Tina. Is it a rant about accents? I always feel very sorry for those call centre staff who are apparently from another culture. They need the job.  They must feel apprehensive every time another caller is irritated by being unable to understand them. On the other hand, I fell pretty irritated myself! I lost the hearing in one ear a few years ago through a brain tumour, now safely removed. I have real trouble understanding accents because I  have to use guesswork as to what people are saying at the best of times! Got to blame the companies which take call centre jobs away from the UK.

Lyn, I don't know if I feel a need to defend people so much as a need to strangle the people who are rude!   I quite agree with not arguing with trolls and other mischievous persons. Ignoring them is much the best. It is the forum members who think it is Ok to be insulting who really annoy me. They spoil what can be so constructive and some people so insulted simply will not post again. My hand itches for contact with an ear!  And no, even though everyone now knows what my job was, I did not do that then!!!

15/03/2013 at 15:53
Gardening Grandma wrote (see)

Lyn, I don't know if I feel a need to defend people so much as a need to strangle the people who are rude!   I quite agree with not arguing with trolls and other mischievous persons. Ignoring them is much the best. It is the forum members who think it is Ok to be insulting who really annoy me. They spoil what can be so constructive and some people so insulted simply will not post again. My hand itches for contact with an ear!  And no, even though everyone now knows what my job was, I did not do that then!!!

I was not going to comment on this and had hoped this would just drift away -unfortunately that does not appear to be the case.

In my opinion this is just added fuel to the flames by criticising other forum members-without naming names-as insulting other forum members.

You keep saying a minority-perhaps you should address that minority not make subtle hints-or generalisations?

You have quoted the student in the past-most felt that that request for help was quite rude

I have seen little evidence of "rudeness" on this-this forum is comparatively mild in comparison to many-look how that WUM was jumped on last night and this morning is evidence of what a nice place this is to post.

15/03/2013 at 15:57

G/G, I did see the post that upset you and felt as you did, from experience on many boards from 2000 I did learn to leave those posts, not answering makes them angry at being ignored and in the end they vanish.

Tina you could rant at me all day, I would listen politely but my hand behind my back would have two fingers stuck up. Joking aside I am an old fashioned gent who was taught there are only Ladies in this world treat them as such. I am quite happy for a woman to be in her place!!! which is out of my kitchen. Daughters do not mind one bit, they demolish what comes out of it.

Frank.

15/03/2013 at 16:56

Geoff . I'm sure GG is perfectly capable of defending herself but having been subjected to 'hostility' by a forum member, I can only concur with her post.  As I have already said, we are all entitled to our own opinion and just because another doesn't agree, it doesn't give them the right to be rude. Just ignore and pass on. Life's too short for unpleasantness and that's not what forums are for.  Wums, troll, grids are a different matter and are best ignored, which doesn't seem to happen on this forum.

Frank, I know you are too much of a gentleman to ever do such a thing!! I don't think the two males in the household know where the kitchen is.  We are a family of note writers and sorting through things just now I came across one that read 'just in case anyone thinks of using the hoover, they can't as I have washed the filter - it's that thing in the cupboard under the stairs'.

To be honest GG, I was frightened to offend.  The gentleman in question had a very strong Indian accent and I began to feel uncomfortable asking him to repeat himself.  He was extremely kind, hoped my OH would be better soon (asthmatic so no chance of that), and arranged for my meter to be read.  I think!

15/03/2013 at 17:51

Tina in this family it is the girls who do not know where the kitchen is. Once staying with a Daughter I got a message saying "could you start dinner I will be home in an hour" Certainly what is it and where is it? "in the freezer it is the chicken you could start it off in the micro wave"??? When I recovered I went to the market and bought a cooked chicken and had everything ready when she came in. That was lovely how come your food is better than mine, there followed a lecture from me about chickens defrosting and micro waves, the dangers there off.
Their Mum was a brilliant cook it just did not rub off.

Frank.

15/03/2013 at 19:22

Sotongeoff, I am completely puzzled by by your response.   If people have the right to make personal comments about others, I have the right to protest, do I not? Which are these flames that I am adding fuel to?

 

 

 

15/03/2013 at 19:30

GG-from your posts

" It is the forum members who think it is Ok to be insulting who really annoy me. They spoil what can be so constructive and some people so insulted simply will not post again. My hand itches for contact with an ear!  And no, even though everyone now knows what my job was, I did not do that then!!!"

and

"Although most people on this forum are charming and helpful, a minority think it is ok to make personal comments about other posters.

I have seen none of such comments-who are this "minority" and the "forum members" to whom you refer??

There are now people looking round wondering what they have done wrong.

15/03/2013 at 19:46

Well, Geoff, I think you might have to read again. You know as well as I do that to name people would be to do the very thing I have complained about - making personal comments. So instead, I have done the only thing open to me, which is to discuss general principles. If anyone would like to message me privately and ask me whether I mean them, I will tell them the answer!

 

 

15/03/2013 at 20:09

But perhaps you can now see how such comments can flame the situation?-OK you have been slighted- fair enough-you felt you had to speak out-that is your prerogative

But to then go onto say there are "others" on this forum does not help-that is how I see it

Anyway onwards and upwards-water under the bridge. ducks back whatever-let normal service resume

15/03/2013 at 20:24

I'm afraid I think it is rude comments that inflame the situation and I have received more than one private message from those who feel that I am speaking for them. I usually try to deal with things with a sense of humour and I am not in the habit of insulting people. The truth is that I think - if the cap fits, wear it. I am not being personal to you, Geoff, since I have never known you to be rude.

However, I agree. Let's move on. Let's do it with humour and respect.

 

15/03/2013 at 20:35

Frank, I truly could not boil an egg when I married many years ago and had never done anything in the kitchen except wash up.  I had a lovely Mum who treated me like a queen.  However, I must have subconsciously taken in what she did as I turned out to be a pretty good cook.  No fancy stuff as my Dad liked plain English food.  My daughter, on the other hand manages to overcook everything because she's afraid of food poisoning.  Both sons are OK in the kitchen as is grandson.  Younger son and grandson both had cookery lessons at school. The teacher always knew which was my Grandson's plate of food because of the portions!  He actually took a GCSE in it as his 'fun' subject. 

Perhaps the powers that be would like to take this subject out of the curriculem but school doesn't have to be all work, no play. Kids need a bit of fun now and then.

15/03/2013 at 20:58

I have a daughter in law who is a really good cook so my confidence in my cooking skills is low. At one time, I used to cook dinners for up to 50 people - main course only, I was not up to doing the desserts. People thought I was a great cook, which I found a laugh, since the main recommendation for my food was the size of the portions. Plain English food sums up my cooking all right - but Welsh portion sizes (large).Here is a poem about the Welsh attitude to food. It goes to the tune of 'Mud, mud, glorious mud.'

'Food, food, glorious food,

Nothing quite like it for improving the mood.

So follow me follow,

Down to the canteen

And there let us wallow

In glorious food.'

Apologies to other Welsh people - I'm just tarring the whole nation with my own brush!

15/03/2013 at 21:21

OOps, suspect you will get your wrists slappped GG.

Many years ago, before I had children, I agreed to have my next door neighbours girls for the day so they could go on a works trip on the Thames.  I was provided with tuna sandwiches for one, as she would eat nothing else, chocolate spread for another and the eldest would eat whatever we were having. Vowed I would never get into this habit when I had children.

Several years later, was preparing dinner for 5 and realised it was like being in a cafe!  5 different meals, as I had succombed to preparing what each one wanted rather than just plonk a meal in front of them.  It stopped there. 

10 guests has been my limit GG and that used to give me a nervous breakdown and take a week to get over.

15/03/2013 at 21:36

It wasn't in my home, Tina. It was in the church across the road and took me two days to shop, prepare and cook. I enjoyed it because of the challenge involved in getting it all out there hot and fooling everyone into thinking that it was well-cooked. It was usually a roast dinner and other people would cook the puddings. Then I'd collapse for a couple of days and hypocritically receive congratulations from people.

15/03/2013 at 22:33

My Mother taught me to cook because boys should be able to look after themselves. It was basic as rationing did mean you had to see what was there we had our own small holding and animals so never went hungry, bread was a basic and wash day with a hot steamy wash house was ideal for raising the dough.

Once we got away from base in the Desert fresh food lasted a day then it was all dry or tinned. No kitchen as such each section would look after their own food breakfast before sun up then an evening meal at sundown, to hot to eat in between. A soldier would cook the section meals but our lot dragooned me into doing all the cooking as it got me out of guard duties I got a nights sleep. The Officers of all the sections threw their rations in with our section and ate with us. I had a box of spices picked up in the Souk, we had dried everything from rice to fruit, Pom Dried Cabbage and of course Bully beef everything cooked on Benghazi burners.
My recovery truck would have fruit being re hydrated in water, cabbage being brought back to life all for the evening meal, which could be a curry, Panackelty, sheperds pie or any of many rice based concoctions and always a pudding. The Officers would wash all the tins as their input.
Three years at cookery when I retired gave me cake making and the one I really loved raised pies hand made. As with everything you make mistakes and learn from them now my Grandchildren want to come and eat here, well everyday if they could, now that does please me.

Frank.

16/03/2013 at 08:13

You've had a rich life, Frank. The wisdom of the past illuminates the present.

I had a lovely morning before the heavy rain started yesterday planting hellebores. Verdun stimulated my interest in them and I must say they look fabulous mixed with lots of little tete-a-tete daffodils. I love these but I'm just beginning to wonder how on earth I can plant new stuff in the autumn when the soil is full of their bulbs.

So  here's a new rant, as befits an MOB. (A number of people would now agree that this is what I am!) When God made bulbs why, oh why, did He not make them with a permanent tag? Didn't He realise gardeners would need to know where they are?

I haven't been struck dead so I think I can safely say that He has a sense of humour! He must have, since He created camels.( Apologies in advance if I have offended anyone. I have a deep love and respect for God.)

More seriously, I'd really like an answer to this problem with bulbs. I suppose markers in the soil, but there would be so many of them. I know bulbs can be replanted but there is such a risk of slicing them as you dig.

16/03/2013 at 08:40

Good Morning GG,Clear skies over here in Clogher head cold at the moment temp 1c but the day has promise , the late GH and Monty recommend that if you have a multitude of bulbs corms and tubers ,that you plant them in shallow bowls /pots with the Base cut out ,as each flower come to the end of its season the bowl / pot is re-placed with another similar bowl / pot of what you would like to grow in its place .hope this idea helps , yes I know its not a rant

Derek