gardening grandma said
"Anything else is both ill-mannered and stupid. it is undignified and it causes hurt and provokes quarrels. "
And that is why they do it, to provoke quarrels, All the forums have these people, if you defend yourself or the other person, they just love it, that is what they do.
It takes two to quarrel, the best bet is to say absolutely nothing, the thing they hate most is to look at how many people have 'viewed' the thread and see that 'none' have replied, when this happens a few times they will move on to another forum.
I know you feel the need to defend people, but you are playing into the hands of these 'flame baiters'
As for people on the site making nasty comments, we should really feel sorry for them, and think twice before we post to make sure it comes across as correct.