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28/03/2013 at 16:39
In our house, my wife does nearly all her shopping and business on line, whereas I'm the dinosaur - cash where possible, and never, ever do I sign up to ongoing direct debits - it's just someone else's hand in your pocket.

Frank, my meals in the Fifties were the same as yours - I loved tapioca,semolina and sago. Being a Catholic, Mum always served fish on Fridays, and then after a bout of food poisoning I became allergic to fish, so Fridays, no boiled fish - I spent weeks awaiting a letter from the Pope condemning me to Heaven knows what fate!
28/03/2013 at 16:49

Pentillie, at a certain point in my life, due to no fault of mine, owed everybody. The only way out of it was to agree to set up direct debits which kept the wolf from the door and, after 3 years, I was back to normal.  Perhaps in those days utility companies and mortgagors were run by people who wanted to help, rather than in this day and age by faceless wonders.  It gives me peace of mind to pay by direct debit.

28/03/2013 at 16:58
Good for you TT - glad it all worked out well for you.
28/03/2013 at 17:06

Hi ,At every election be it General or local I put in my front window a large poster of one " C,J, Haughy " one time leader of Fianna Fail  and I was never bothered by F/F Hacks but sometimes F/G hacks would knock on my door (ex blue shirts ) although these days they try and distance themselves from that time in history but I do like to remind them and be  entertained  . I do vote every time and as a card carrying member of Unite formally the AEEU I vote Labour it is my believe that anyone who did work or who is still in work is in someway working class and should not vote for Right wing or borderline conservative ,as is what happened  today in County Meath  the daughter of a T,D who died last Christmas was elected as a new T,D. people have very short memories  I am afraid Nepotism is still alive and well in this Country .God help us.

Derek

28/03/2013 at 17:17

Well, we're certainly living up to our MOB titles this afternoon! I have another this year. moan.

I've just come back from a family conference with the doctor over the care of my 83 year old relative, who has very severe rheumatoid arthritis and had cancer treatment. She can no longer walk and has no ability to care for her personal hygiene. She has carers 4 times a day and still depends heavily on the relatives with whom she now stays. She told them that she lived alone and could cope, so they discharged her from hospital! Turned out they did not know her medical history - because they had no looked at her medical record. She was an elderly person who was taking up a bed. Now, I know that hospitals are under immense pressure financially and in terms of beds, but I would have thought that every human being in Britain was entitled to basically competent medical care! I am truly shocked. They have undischarged her after our visit - but what if she had not had someone to speak up for her?

28/03/2013 at 17:23

Fairygirl /Daughter, I am quite worried about you, if I had been a child bride I would have been your Mum and believe it there is no danger of me being taken for a female of any description, even the Bear as my lads called me (behind my back I may say).
Are you having a gender crisis I ask.
Tina we do not all have the same chances in life and I salute anyone who pulls themselves up by the boot straps, you fought you succeeded well done.
When I got leave in the Army I would have a day off then it would be up on the farm if they were busy or a part time job, in a time of full employment they always wanted drivers to cover for sickness. I drove some rattletraps as well as good trucks and always brought them back home it meant I was always good for more next time I got leave and the money came in handy. Lazing about was not in my genes and still is not, apart from today when I appear to have been on all day, my excuse is it is freezing the Mexican chili's out there.
Fish was always part of my diet we lived on a fishing coast, the man would come round with his horse and cart calling Callour Herrin and mother would buy a bucket full caught that morning and clean dress then bake them. Hot for the evening meal and cold there after, I thought that nicer and would stuff them down with lots of bread and butter, "butter you ask with rationing" we made our own and did deals, keeping pigs a few slices of bacon got you anything.

Frank.

28/03/2013 at 17:29

Worrying isn't it GG.  A couple of years ago, I was trying to help an old friend, aged 93 at the time, as she had almost lost her sight and kept falling over.  Had not been out the house for 2 years.  Did not want to go into a home so I started to try and see what could be done for her.  One of the questions I was asked was whether she could get herself up of a morning and wash and dress herself.  Answer yes.  That was the end of the conversation. As she was capable of that, nothing they could do. Nothing about visiting and assessing her needs.  Zilch. Last June she finally decided to go into a home and passed away 6 months later.  I just know that if help had been forthcoming, she would still be here.

28/03/2013 at 17:40

GG , My arn't we living in a caring world if your relative had been released into her own care she would be dead by the end of the weekend and just another statistic of our/your health service.

She is lucky to have people around her who care about her well being .

Our two country's are very much alike in the treatment of our elderly citizens in that we will not allow euthanasia but will turn a blind eye to so many people living on their own ,I wonder how many old people will be found dead after this very cold winter has ended ,

kindest regards Derek

28/03/2013 at 17:40

Hi Brother Derek we are both members of Unite, a long story.
As a lad I joined the Boilermakers led by the ear to the meeting by my mentor and tutor a Boilermaker brought out of retirement for the war. His Son in Law owned the firm but  he told me they are all tarred with the same brush and will do you down.
Many years later at ICI I was asked if I was union and because my Dad had for years gone to the branch and paid the forces dues I was still a member. I was told by the convener I would need to join the Staff section which I did.
I was then promoted rapidly and put in charge with the instruction break the union hold that keeps ICI from improving.
A couple of years hard graft with the union's, job done and well rewarded, the men were happy a lot more money the unions curbed.
On retirement I was asked if I wished to remain on the books at a much reduced fee and I did. So for years I have had a Union pension, most of the conveners and lads dropped out hence no pension I smile every Christmas when that cheque comes.

Frank.

28/03/2013 at 17:41

I just got to the end of a post and it disappeared..*^$%^&* I'm losing the will to live       .....don't know if it's this old laptop.Grrr. Sorry Frank/Dad but 'child bridegroom' didn't have the same ring to it! I was about to say that I worked long hours for not a lot of money but I'm fortunate that I have my own house and I'm very grateful for that. When I bought my first flat I had no phone and no colour tv - things that people see as the norm nowadays but were a luxury for me. Tina I understand how hard it can be, juggling my money was difficult but I did without and kept myself together and it got easier.  I'm trying to get my girls to have common sense with money as I don't want them to get into debt which can happen so easily. I think it's a disgrace the way we treat our old people here and it's getting worse. Are we becoming a third world country?? GG nothing surprises me about hospitals/nursing homes any more.I'm grateful that my Dad died in his own home and Mum was in hospital just a few hours and the doc who told my Dad there was nothing more they could do was the finest example of a doctor you could ever meet. I will be eternally grateful to him for that and for the respect he showed us all.

28/03/2013 at 17:53

You have to though, don't you Fairygirl. I have never been materialistic and so never hankered for anything. My kids had their school uniform, a set of playing clothes and a 'best' outfit, which eventually became the playing clothes! They didn't ask for the earth for birthdays or christmas because they knew it wouldn't be forthcoming.  Like you, I got by and things gradually got better. Now, whatever I have is theirs as I want to treat them because I couldn't do so years ago. Have told them that I will expect them to reciprocate if necessary.

28/03/2013 at 18:09

Tina, like you, I'm not big on 'stuff' cluttering up the house,the less is more thing is my motto- apart from plants that is! My kids also didn't have the wardrobe that some seem to have these days and if they were invited to a party it was a case of wearing their wellies/trainers if they didn't have fancy shoes! They didn't get endless toys and treats either and had to wait for birthdays and Christmas but they were happy. Sometimes I'm nice to them- but only because they'll be choosing the care home.....

28/03/2013 at 18:29

Frank , Along time ago when our Gaffer had not shown up for work , I took it upon myself to ware his white coat ,and tried to get the men to get off their arses and try and catch up with our work schedule ,the manager as it happened came into the workshop at this time and seen me wearing the coat and asked me if I would continue as assistant Foreman until the real one got back he was ill , so for 6 months I did just that ,but then was asked by my Boss if I would like to do it on a More permanent bases  I said I would think about it and then he said something very strange , would I have the ability to sack someone, I said no and he said don't go for the job , I have not regretted that decision I retired happy unlike a lot of my fellow workers who went on the management trail .

Derek

28/03/2013 at 18:56

GG. We had a similar experience with an elderly relative. Very distressing, apologies from the nhs and things have settled down..a bit.

 

a quick recap...toilets... GG and Fairygirl...theres more...

When you had your allotted time the door closed, much slushing and gurgling, and the next person couldn't go back in for three minutes (we were a group of walkers)

So did we go in two at a time..not telling...surreal, alien and weird.

 

28/03/2013 at 19:00

Fairygirl, daugher informed me couple of days ago when we were having a joke that she has it all sorted.  Stannalift to top floor where there's a bedroom with ensuite.  Help. Not giving a home my kids' inheritance.

Cilmeri - hope it was appropriate pairings.

28/03/2013 at 19:59

Tina I'm walking in front of a bus rather than go in a home, or wandering off the top of a hill. I hate the thought of growing old- gracefully or otherwise  I suppose living with the kids would give me the chance to get my own back though.. I love them really

28/03/2013 at 20:21

28/03/2013 at 20:37

Tina...

28/03/2013 at 20:43

M made me promise not to put her in a home. Alas when it got to the stage of never ever having a nights sleep,(snatches of an hour at atime) Having to keep all doors locked and constantly cleaning up s*** from floors, bed s etc and then not sitting up unless we lifted her like a doll it was decided that for all our sakes a home was the only solution.

She is now in a lovely home where we can come and go whenever we want. She has put on a little weight and is much happier. We don't  often see her when she is at her most 'trickiest' and I can now enjoy her as my M

All I say is be careful what you make them promise

28/03/2013 at 21:01

My Dad looked after my Mum as her main carer Rosa and hid a lot of things from us. I think he was terrified she'd go into a home. He was a very independent person and didn't really like asking for help which was often difficult to deal with. They were together 60 years in total and he was heartbroken when she died. I'm a lot like him and in all honesty I wouldn't want to inflict myself on my kids. He died at home and it was hard for me as I found him.My partner was worried about me being there on my own (he was quite a distance away) but I told him I wasn't on my own , I had my Dad with me and it was strangely comforting. I hope you have many more years with her Rosa