London (change)
28/03/2013 at 21:59

I'm glad you feel the same as me, Fairygirl - I would not want to inflict myself on my family either. At the moment, they love me and I don't want them to end up hating me as my aunt hated her difficult father in law. I want them to have their lives and not have to give them away for my sake - but also to inherit my house!


28/03/2013 at 22:51

Derek, I learned as a very young soldier that difficult decisions have to be made constantly, after a while you harden and the skin toughens.
As I went up through the ranks, promotion boards I had to sit on taught me that sentiment has no place in the room.
ICI took me on for what I was and from the start they groomed me obviously for the job they knew was coming and when I did not apply I was not a graduate, I was told to have the application on the managers desk that day. It meant a huge step up the ladder and an easy comfortable retirement.
The men and women said I had no parents but that I was totally fair. Some do, some do not, I had friends who could not do it and lost out in many ways.
Visiting T----'s supermarket which is full of retired ICI men working to supplement their pensions I am greeted as a friend so I did something right.
Not a rant Derek just trained by circumstances beyond my control as a lad to get on and do the job and not shed tears.


28/03/2013 at 22:59

Fairygirl /Daughter, your Dad and I had the same experience then so I understand his hiding things form you although at first some of mine were thinking it was all imagination on my part,
Joan is still in this house to me, I never would have believed it, I do now.


29/03/2013 at 09:16

Frank/Dad- she'll always be with you.x

29/03/2013 at 14:33

Life has some tough lessons and experiences. No-one knows when they start out in life how tough it can become. I've learnt that whatever happens, we can go on loving and that love never dies.

Well, enough of that! OH's car died on us yesterday after spending hundreds to try to save it. This means I'll have to part ex mine for one big enough to tow the caravan. Not a rant - more a groan!

29/03/2013 at 17:41
My OH has just got home spent the last couple of miles of his journey chugging up hill in 2nd gear, puffing out diesel fumes behind cyclists who like to be thought on as " green'
When he got irate and blew his horn at them, they hardly wanted to move over to let him who is destroying the planet here then
29/03/2013 at 21:14

Hi Lyn. Has your OH calmed down yet? This whole question of cyclists on the roads is a difficult one. They have a right to be there, but they are a nuisance to car drivers and they are themselves vulnerable to injury. They should cycle in single file, but quite often cycle side-by-side, making any obstruction worse. Car drivers may fail to see them - or rather, fail to register that they are there, because they are concentrating on other cars. Sometimes they get competitive and try to control whether a car can pass them. They complain that cars pass too close and almost push them into the hedge. Driving behind them drives me crazy. Trying to pass them can be dangerous, especially on winding Welsh roads. Wish I knew the answer!

29/03/2013 at 22:14

Car drivers are dangerous for cyclists too. My daughter (when she was a student) was riding her bike past a row of parked cars when suddenly some idiot opened his car door right into her. She fell off the bike of course and was covered in bruises.

29/03/2013 at 23:44
Cyclists in this area have several good cycle lanes, but on an average day probably about a third don't use them - usually the 'proper' cyclists wearing all the latest racing gear. I've also noticed that some drivers seem unable to pass a cyclist without leaving an inordinate amount of space between themselves - not so much being over cautious , but more a case of lots of car drivers nowadays seem uncertain about the width of their vehicles.

For those of you who have not been in Central London during working hours,especially the rush hour, cyclists have to be seen to be believed - on the pavements intimidating pedestrians, cycling wrong way down one-way streets, through red lights, cursing at pedestrians - some even carry sticks which they hammer on the roofs of cars they consider have cut them up!

I enjoy cycling, and am a great fan of Tour de France etc., but some cyclists are a disgrace - the best behaved are kids, from a young age up to late teens; they all seem to understand patience and restraint is better than confrontation.

Final moan, it might help if cyclists had to pay a small annual charge as Road Tax, and had a licence which could be taken away as with car drivers - however I suppose the cost of that would be too high to justify the hoped-for aims of more considered road use.
30/03/2013 at 06:52

Morning all. Pentillie, your post could be an article/comments straight out of a Zürich newspaper! Although I must say, people who cycle in a city the size of London must have more guts than brains! Boris excepted, of course!

30/03/2013 at 08:46

My daughter in law was knocked off her bike when she was a student, too. I did not intend to attack cyclists. I agree with the 'more guts than brains' comment, and not only about London. I was at traffic lights in a relatively quiet country area, with a car in the other lane beside me and a cyclist in my lane who pulled up beside me. When the lights changed, the other car pulled out, the cyclist cut across my bonnet and, had I not been alert, I would have run him over. I sounded my horn - I leave you to imagine the condescending gesture I got in return. He was in full cycling gear and looked fit, an experienced cyclist. But he's have been the one injured, perhaps dead, and I'd be the one trying to live with the fact that I had hit someone.

That's a really good point about a road tax for cyclists. The real answer is dedicated cycling lanes everywhere, and not ones shared with pedestrians - and that is going to cost money.

30/03/2013 at 09:21
Pentillie wrote (see)

Final moan, it might help if cyclists had to pay a small annual charge as Road Tax, and had a licence which could be taken away as with car drivers - however I suppose the cost of that would be too high to justify the hoped-for aims of more considered road use.

Hear hear's long been a bone of contention for me, and as someone who has driven on narrow roads a lot, cyclists don't realise how inconsiderate it is to spread across roads preventing drivers overtaking safely.They ride up pavements and through traffic lights etc and then complain when drivers 'don't see them'. I do have sympathy sometimes though, as we have cycle lanes on the main road but people park on them all the time -apparently that's not illegal (?)- so cyclists have to go in the road. What a waste of money putting them in. The worst ones here are motorbikes. The road beside Loch Lomond is notorious for bikers doing insane things. Heart in mouth stuff and putting other people at risk 

30/03/2013 at 09:34

Back to the subject of NHS, a 50 year old friend of mine who fell about a year and a half ago and went to the hospital in immense pain, they said she was just bruised and referred her back to her doctor. She kept telling her doctor that something was not right & her doctor told her that it may help if she lost some weight. She started using the gym and her partner was taking her out for long walks etc and pushing her to do more (no pain no gain mentality). She finally was rushed into hospital with a minor heart attack and insisted that there was something wrong (this was about a year after her fall) She was scanned & xrayed and was told that she had actually broken her back a year earlier. 

30/03/2013 at 09:52

Ddave it just shows the postcode lottery though doesn't it? Some people get missed completely and others get the right diagnosis. My friend's son is undergoing chemo right now. He's only early 30s but he discovered a lump around a month ago and the wheels were in motion right away. Prognosis excellent. But to be fair to all the docs/nurses/surgeons et al ..we're all human and not infallible. It's a bit scary but I suppose we all feel they always know best and never make a mistake.

30/03/2013 at 11:04

We took the same elderly relative to casualty a couple of years ago because we thought she had fractured her hip and been walking about on it for 3 months! After a long wait, she was x rayed and we were assured she had no fracture. We knew she did (she'd had two before this) but did not know that x-ray machines miss some fractures. Eventually, after more weeks of agony, she was scanned - and, guess what? She had a fracture! She  has rheumatoid arthritis and ws treated for years by a 'specialist' who turned out to be a fake and who had to return to India in a hurry! She has had synptoms missed and misdiagnosed and has been given the wrong treatment for weeks on end. r as no more than anThis week a doctor saw  her as no more than an elderly person taking up a bed to no purpose. She has now suffered for 24 years yet few seems to see her as someone who actually needs consideration and care. She has a naive trust in doctors and does not take responsibility for her own care, preferring to accept whatever is dealt out.

I know that there are many, many caring doctors and nurses out there. My OH is one. They are also victims of a system that places targets ahead of patients.

30/03/2013 at 11:17
Gardening Grandma wrote (see)

I know that there are many, many caring doctors and nurses out there. My OH is one. They are also victims of a system that places targets ahead of patients.

Well said GG. I'm lucky that I've had largely good experience with doctors and hospitals-rarely been in one for myself other than giving birth but you hear some awful stories, again often relating to older people. It's disgraceful when old people are treated worse than animals in this country. My late aunt ( married a Canadian pilot during the war and moved to Canada) told me how different it is there as old people are seen as a fund of knowledge -almost a resource- to be treated with respect and consulted for their life experience. Again, may have been her location but she loved it there.

30/03/2013 at 11:30

Cyclists what cyclists, Driving a Comet between tank roads a voice from the turret asked did you not see that cycling club?? What cycling club I asked. "Oh well" too late then.
We have a myriad of lanes around us all long runs so the cyclists are out in force practicing, they can do quite a good run around the lanes and back here as they link in.
Having cycled myself I wait back until the road is clear then pass them as I would a horse wide and careful
The Londoners should invest in armoured vehicles that would make the cyclists shear off and hitting them with a stick could get them shot.


30/03/2013 at 11:56
I think a lot of London drivers would love to follow the suggestion in your last paragraph, Frank!
30/03/2013 at 13:15


We are caravanners and often have to tow on country roads where it is difficult or impossible for people to pass us. Some people get pretty irate with us. Once, in Dorset, we emerged from a winding road onto the Blandford by-pass. A car which had been following us for a while overtook us. The front seat passenger, a young woman, leaned out of the window as far as her waist and, with great emphasis, lifted her arm and showed us two raised fingers. We waved brightly.

I felt a certain sympathy with her, though.

30/03/2013 at 21:25

Then there are the elderly drivers like my father in law, who always drove his car down the middle of the road at 25 miles an hour. His sight deteriorated to the point where he always took his daughter with him to tell him when cars approached him in the opposite direction.

An elderly friend was still driving at age 92. He was stopped by the police one Sunday morning because he was driving too slowly. He replied, 'Don't bother me now, officer. I'm in a hurry to get to church!'