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10/04/2013 at 16:37

hehehehe!  I don't think I've got more conkers than lots of chaps, I used to be a real shrinking violet at school, as I was bullied a lot (Mum was from Hastings, so I didn't have a midlands accent, where I grew up), as I 'talked posh', I didn't, I 'talked proper like what me Mum did'.  Mum & Biological Father ended up splitting up, best thing they could have done (he was, and remains, a bully).  I ended up going to a school in Leeds, in the middle of a council estate, but the teachers there actually gave a s**t and encouraged everyone to try as hard as they could.  Realised I'd actually been bullied by my Dad, and that was my light bulb moment.  I don't have anything to do with him now (completely blanked him at my Uncle's funeral)  My stepfather I regard as my Dad, and he gave me away when I got married.

So when you've been bullied by a member of your own family, you don't think twice about getting your ranty pants on with supermarkets!!

For a joke, when I had a lady boss at the steelworks, we played a joke on the blokes in the team.  I went in for my annual review, we decided we'd tell the blokes I was going on an assertiveness course.  Their comments ranged from 'What, as the teacher', to 'OMG, she'll be coming to work in Combats and a Kalashnikov!'

Trick is, even if you're quaking inside, put on a confident front.  Every day.  One day you'll realise it's not a front any more.  If I can do it, anyone can.

10/04/2013 at 16:48

Very true, MMP! I have had classes I was terrified of and if I'd shown it I'd have had my life made hell. It is good training in putting on a confident front. The same goes for looking relaxed and friendly when really you feel terrified and inferior.

10/04/2013 at 16:57

Just posted on the Aldi facebook page but I'm not good at facebook and I'm not sure if I did it right. I tried, anyway.

10/04/2013 at 17:06

MMP-you're a star! Your story about the fake 'course' is great! I wish I'd had your inner steel growing up. I know what it's like to live with a bully (not my Dad I hasten to add!) and I eventually got out but not without a lot of pain. My only regret is not being brave enough to do it sooner but when there's a '3rd party' causing the problem (and not a person) you tell yourself you can help to sort it. I eventually realised I couldn't. It must have been incredibly hard when it was your own Dad but as I once said to a friend 'just because they're our parents it doesn't mean we have to like them'.

I think you and GG are terrific and I'll try to be more like you both.

Will get my 'ranty pants' out of storage!

10/04/2013 at 17:37

Was always very timid and lacked confidence as a child so consequently got walked over.  Came into my own when I found a job I loved and went from strength to strength as I knew I was good.  Was OK for years then, following the birth of youngest, things went from bad to worse and I felt worthless.  This went on for about 8 years and my life was intollerable.  Eventually saw a way out and grabbed it,  Got back to being my bolshi self. Will take on anything and everyone, in the nicest possible way (most times). Hate apathy, but should realise that not everyone has the same strength and conviction as myself.  No point complaining if you don't do something about it.

 

10/04/2013 at 17:58

Well, this is my sob story.

I was a bullied child from a sometimes violent home in which drinking figured quite large, though my father was not an alcoholic. My brother and I survived rather than thrived. I am a strong character but did not know it, feeling inferior and worthless. I did not know I was depressed but thought instead that I was odd, a misfit,an inferior speciimen of hunanity. I was clever and was confident in what I could do, but I was not confident in what I was. That  result was that, without knowing it, I begged everyone to walk over me - and they did. I learnt to fight back (eventually) but took a hammering.

Today, I  realise that only two things matter - to be on the side of truth and right and to deal with people kindly; in other words, to turn one's attention away from oneself and concentrate on something else! I'll always be somewhat vulnerable because of my background, but if I forget myself, it does not matter that much.

10/04/2013 at 18:17

hmm i guess GG is linda but i've no idea who is sue.

I think its a small but representitive sample that should help convince the powers that be at aldi that they have a problem

Might be the germans thou that dictate company policy, such an easy to fix problem so maybe they will.

 

10/04/2013 at 18:24

Does anyone else wonder whether our love of gardening and losing ourselves in a world of our own bears any relevance to our experiences.  Not into psychology, but does make me wonder whether this is where we find our peace.

 

10/04/2013 at 18:27

GG - know where you are coming from.  Our scars are on the inside, and we can either give into them, or find the strength from somewhere to get on in spite of them.  I was lucky, Mum & Bio Father split up when I was 15, I realised I was afraid of him during a court hearing, strangely enough, after I realised I was afraid, I realised what he was, and stopped being afraid of him.  He's just a spoilt bully.

GG, you got one thing wrong.  You are a unique, beautiful person, and you DO matter, you need to remember this and give yourself some respect for all you have achieved, not everyone could have done what you have.  You remind me a bit of my Mum.  Was trained by her Mum to be a doormat, and did a very good job of it until she couldn't take it any more, and left in what she stood up in.  She's now very happy with my Stepdad, and have moved to Spain - I'd love her to move back so she could be more of a Grandma to my two, but if she's happy in Spain, then she deserves that happiness.

My motto in life is stolen from the Camel Trophy - One Life, Live it.

10/04/2013 at 19:08

Good stuff, MMP. Believe me, I'm no pushover! But thanks for your kindness.

10/04/2013 at 19:11

Tina, you may have a point there.  Gardening, good book, or chocolate.  Or grown-up ginger beer (in moderation).  Or cheese and biscuits.  Oh bugger it.  Off to raid the fridge.

10/04/2013 at 19:15

Tina-you don't know how right you are.

When you love someone and think you can help them you keep trying until your health suffers and your children suffer. Then something happens to force your hand-in my case it was something my daughter did. The sad thing is that he can change his 'problem' but he's the only one who can do it. I don't want him to die because of it. I loved the person I wanted him to be- I still do. I wish I could change the things that happened but I can't- I can only learn from it and hope I don't fall into the same trap again. I have to move on and that's what the garden can do. A brilliant therapy.

Perhaps we should start a new thread- 'Kindred Spirits'.

I think that's what we are.

Love to you all GG, MMP and Tina

10/04/2013 at 19:38

Most definitely Fairygirl. Was just thinking how comfortable we 'strangers' must now be that we feel able to share so much.  It became my 'mission' to want everyone I found in the same boat as myself to get what I had!  Some tried it and found it worked, others didn't find they could.  I was sad for them as they would go on trying to change whoever and that would never happen.  The only person you can change is yourself.

10/04/2013 at 21:03

jst back from super market raiding picked up 4 pots of tete-a-tete for 10 c a pot went into lidl and most of the plants were missing since yesterday. coincidence or have lidl listened, Aldi havent so far. I got a 10 Kg bag of cornish granite chippings which  i hope will help my seedlings. 

11/04/2013 at 08:27

Well done, blackest! I'm off to Lidl shortly (after my morning socialise here) so will check on the plants!

11/04/2013 at 09:28

Some decent offers on today tomato plants at 89 cent bedding at 2.49 which is fair same as last years  4 for 10 offer. this years prices seem a bit higher than last at 3.39 compared to 2.99 last and veg seems to be getting sold at flower prices which is annoying because in ireland flowers have 13% vat and veg is 0 rated.

surfinia's are cheap too at 1.49 might be time to do a few boxes

 

 

11/04/2013 at 12:38

Lidl had healthy, well-watered plants. Only bought 2 gerananiums for £3 but the rest looked lovely - big contrast with Aldi. There were potting mats there for a couple of pounds, though, that I had bought earlier in the 99p shop.

11/04/2013 at 13:23

Fresh stock today, but good to see the older plants are getting some tlc hopefully.

sometimes its worth paying a little bit more my pound land trowel has about as much stiffness as a soggy bit of cardboard worth the 2.49 for the aldi one but not the 7 for a gardman trowel. just transplanted a few pansy seedlings very poor showing for the age I dont think i'll bother using my plastic shelves as seed trays again (16 plants out of 3 foot by 1). still they did germinate in the colder weather.

11/04/2013 at 14:06

Back again, sent for new power cord Tuesday, £20 plus postage, arrived today plugged in and away. Still going to buy a new one though, this is old and slow like me, looking at Acer, anyone got one and comments.
Read through the thread thought I was on the wrong thread, I arrived at Secondary School on crutches and a big pot on my leg so got a good bullying, two weeks later Mother got a letter from the head master, tell your son to stop using his crutches as deadly weapons, end of being bullied.
In the forces you stand up to be counted even though your guts turn to water all good practice to supervise the ICI heavy squads and worse still the Office girls.
Rant today is that Easterly wind when will it turn away? the weather forecast says warmer, last night was frost and today bitter.

Frank.

11/04/2013 at 14:08

Not gardening related, but I thought you all might to know that M&S have an offer at present for one third off duck, guinea fowl and poussin.  They're doing their bit.