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MOB rants

a place to lt off steam about all the irritating and/or stupid ideas you have come across lately

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hollie hock

I was a relatively late comer to driving. The last time I parallel parked was on my test I often let people out and thank those that do the same for me. My biggest bug bear is when people drive too close behind you.

Gardening Grandma

I can parallel park if I have to. I'd just prefer not to have to! The best two compliments I ever had about driving were from men who both told me I drove like a man. They meant I drove accurately and cheekily. Unless I misunderstood and it was an insult!

Frank, that sounds like a great lunch! You can hold a door open for me any time  I always say thank you. I have recognised that my days of getting chivalry through pulling power are well behind me, but I do sweet, motherly old lady rather well!


Chivalry is not dead
An elderly lady gave up her seat for me the other day

I'll get my coat
Brum, that wasn't a good joke you told me to say

Hollie-tail gaters...

Totally agree!




Verdun always seems to be cold. I wonder if he'll get his coat in summer!


i remember some years back now.. i had a little fiat panda.. an dthe people who lived down the road to me would park their cars in such a way.. no one else who lived along there could park.. and then when the others members came home.. they would go and and have a move about and you got two more cars in!!!! so i thought one day.. sod this!!! i am going to get my car in there.

after about 5mins i had it in.. with inches to spare front and back.. the guys in the garage opposite all applauded when i got out.. which was great.. i did feel pretty pleased with myself..the nieighbours were not amused at all.. and the next morning i went out my back wiper and offside wing mirror were broken off.. and this damage continued for a week.. until i thought enough is enough.. so i went out late one night and did same damage to their cars.. and  i never had a problem again from them.. and they stopped hoggin the street to.

not that i recommend this sort of behaviour of course but my grandad said sometimes with people you hve to treat like for like to make your point!


Gardening Grandma

Wow, that's quite a story, GF!! It is the sort of thing that my instincts tell me to do before my OH tells me how stupid it would be and warns me of the awful retribution that will be exacted if I do it. So then I meekly give in and feel defeated and frustrated. I'm glad you won and rather envious o! the fact that you actually had the guts to do it! 


G/G, Never had any problems parking Tanks, if there was something in the way you just sat on it, with thirty ton of tank you did not even notice.
Had a couple of hairy moments in Catterick during training, tracks were not made for black ice so heading down the road on a cold and frosty morning could be interesting at times.


Gardening Grandma

Great story, Frank, but I should think if you tried the tank manoevre today on the local high street, you might have a problem!

GF, I always read 'fiat panda' as 'flat panda' and have a gruesome mental image of a panda squashed flat by a tank. So keep pandas and Frank apart!

G/G, I would not squash a Panda, humans yes, well some of them.
We had road tracks in those days rubber pads on the tracks which made it even worse on ice as they were smooth.
We delivered repaired tanks by the tank roads which went across country but at times would be on roads. I drive those tank roads now in the Vale of York nearly all now proper traffic roads.
Catterick is expanding again as the troops come home from Germany and some of the Garrisons in the South close.


Crikey, Frank, I didn't realise Tanks could skid!  I would have thought that thirty tons and the metal tracks would have broken through ice.  I also thought that you had to put rubber boots on the top of tracks (like a tyre that fits on the top) if you were taking them out onto public roads, so as not to damage them and have a man from the council shout at you - mind you, if I were a man from the council, I would be intelligent enough not to shout at anyone in a tank.

GF - great story, thats the sort of thing that gets me annoyed, although when I had something similar, a chap parking so close to his front wall that I couldn't get past, let alone the pushchair, I called the 101 number and complained.  Couple of days later and there was a PCSO doing the rounds of the street, talking to everyone who was parking on the pavement, and asking them to shift their cars as there had been complaints, and warning them they would be patrollng to make sure it wasn't a regular thing.  The guy whose car I originally complained about was 'known to the police' and driving around in a car registered abroad, as he still has the car, I believe he paid the fine and escaped having his beemer crushed.

My driving bugbears are being cut up (it weighs nearlly two tons and is pillar box red), I think all old range rovers come equipped with cloaking device, people who don't bother indicating so you are left guessing, people who stop and wait for an invitation at roundabouts.  And what really , really gets me are the lazy a£%£$%£$ that park in disabled or parent and child spaces (I really need the extra room as I have two child seats in the back, usually with a child in them), because they're suffering from near-terminal ignorance and there's nothing wrong with them, no blue badge either!!!  GRRRRRRRRR!


frank my brother was tanks too 17/21st and queens own lancers, Challenger II's


Blackest, I was REME was with 4th 7th RTC and the Blues and Royals before Armoured Engineers Challengers were just coming in when I finished but did drive them among many old ones  as well.

Mummy nothing cuts through black ice, the tracks we fitted for road use had a smooth rubber pad on each track plate. In a totally uncontrolled slide down Richmond hill I missed two vehicles coming up and the bridge at the bottom ending up facing the way I was going with very wet pants. I spent half my time pulling tanks out of ditches in Germany, it is a bit of a myth that they can go anywhere, that should really read nearly everywhere then the REME boys are needed.



If I ever win the lottery, I will be buying a DUKW and a SnowCat.  Not sure where I can learn to drive a tracked vehicle though, I do know that they will come out to you for you to take your test.

Let's see who would try to take me on in one of those things!!  I'd also quite like a Bowler Tomcat (looks just like a Defender on the outside, but has been tweaked so can go anywhere at quite a pace).  I'd insist they paint it pink, and call it a Bowler Pussycat instead.  Oh, what fun I would have with the silly little boys in the middle of Rotherham.  They soon learnt not to try racing my husband in his LSE.  Runs on autogas, has a 5 litre V8 engine, and goes like the proverbial.  I used to have to remind him we were towing a caravan (a bloody big twin axle too).

There's no substitute for cubes.


Frank was the payment the same back then, think it was a slab of beer if you had to be pulled out. Brother had a fairly good career was colonels gunner at one point before becoming tank commander and eventually an instructor, sometimes at the weekends he'd bring my nephew in and get him issuing orders to the trainee's in the simulators (he was about 10 at the time).   


@ frank.. great story.. thats what i needed back then.. love it

@gg.. yes so was i.. but i had had enough of the damage by the end of the week... and i knew going to report it would get me i had no "hard" evidience to show it was them... so with my patience at the end of its tether i did it.. i will say i did not feel good doing it.. but sometimes needs must..

@mummy.. my driving bugs are those too and people who drive so close to you.. i hate my space being invaded.. the roundabouts.. ah yes.. those.. over hear it is terrible,had  to rant out window while hand on the horn.. other day to a guy who was stopped letting al the cars from his left go out,nearly causing an accident with traffic coming from the opposite junction.. idots!! and those that dont indicate yes, and those that pull out infront of me...causing slamming on of brakes.. when there is nothing behind me.. and proceed to drive at 30 in a 60 limit!

my hubby says if the driver in front is wearing a flat cap beware ad be ready

OH was a driving instructor for a time.  He used to tell his trainees that if someone indicated, the only thing you could safely assume is that the bulb in the indicator was working.

If someone is driving too close behind me, I either slam on the brakes (if I'm in blue, there is a NATO tow hitch and lots of under-body armour, and it's lifted so high they'd just go underneath and hit the tank and diff guard), if I'm in something else, I pop the rear wash-wipe on.

OH is really , really bad for road rage - you'd never think he used to be an instructor.  It can't be good for his blood pressure - had to tell him off yesterday as he let out a string of invective and the kids were in the back.  Just hoping small boy doesn't ask his teacher what a K**b jockey is!!

Gardening Grandma


My pet bugbears are people who drive right on your tail, especially when you are in the fast lane and they want you to understand that you should pull over because they want to drive faster than you, even though you may be already doing over 70. I would like to have a large pop-up sign saying 'Get off my tail' woth maybe an appropriate gesture at the end!

The other thing that really irritates me is people who do not bother to indicate when they are going to turn left because they know that they are in no danger. Pedestrians don't know whether it is safe to cross the road and other drivers at roundabouts have to wait because they think that these delightful persons are going straight across the roundabout.