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24/05/2013 at 17:46

My Grandson playing one of those war games where robotic figures get shot at with a million bullets asked me if it was like real life.
My reply was everything you need in the Infantry you carry on your back and that would not include a million rounds, you learned to conserve rounds and everything else including food, water was more important.
The day I handed those weapons in for the last time was the last time I wanted to handle them, this need to have guns seems sick to me. They are deadly dangerous things in the hands of trained people god help us when untrained idiots get hold of them, ban the lot I say.

Gilly, in the SM the other day an assistant I knew said she would put my half dozen items through the self service till, with reluctance I agreed, big mistake.
Same thing wrong bag, refused to read the codes, told us bag had unidentified item then after twice the time through a manned till it refused my card twice, that gives you one more go before it eats the card.
This is three tries and three failures I told her I will only use the service tills in future, her reply! "I do not blame you"?


24/05/2013 at 18:00

Hi fairy girl I have to tell you, my grandmother was born in glasgow ,they owned an ice cream shop..I guess there is still family there .I would love to find out .

24/05/2013 at 20:22

Personally, I'm terrified of those self-service tills and would never attempt them. End of story.

MMP, I was really moved by your story. You  are right - you have suffered a bereavement. Life as a young wife and mother is tough enough when one is well. I admire your spirit.


24/05/2013 at 21:47

debra- it's a small world really isn't it! Glasgow is well known for Italian families with ice cream shops! I expect you could try tracing your relatives with one of those ancestry websites.

24/05/2013 at 21:55

Every self service till puts a checkout operator out of a job. I won't use them either. When I was a kid, it was usual to get a Saturday job in a shop, now it's  almost impossible.  It provided good experience and an intoduction to the real world. Now there are 22 year olds who have a degree but no real work experience.

24/05/2013 at 22:15
flowering rose wrote (see)

I wish the person up the road would cut his hedge so as I don't have to get poked in the eye every time I walk past 


Had this problem locally with a PYRACANTHA. Lovely flowers, but not something we need at eye-height over the pavement. 6am Sunday, bucket, thick gloves, secateurs and a branch saw. Onto the compost heap went the excess. It'll be a denser, prettier tree for it, too.


Alan4711 wrote (see)

Grandma we have a close neighbor whose leandali stuff  leans out half way across the kerb at head height, talk about in ya face on dark nights  and its 12 feet high never gets trimmed and is a pain in the AAA Some people seem to go through life in a dream world completely oblivious to others  


Glyphosate. Bucket. Walk into tree. Be startled. Stumble. Spill bucket contents. Go home grumbling about waste of expensive hogweed-control agent. 

24/05/2013 at 22:21
Palaisglide wrote (see)

G/G, i too think them mad, I have my Dads wartime police truncheon handy in a draw and having used them in the Army would not hesitate and to H@## with the consequences.



Advice from a US policeman to his daughter, the day he bought her a gun to take with her to her new home: "If you ever have to use that, you make sure the court only gets to hear your side of the story."


Farmer's complaint about an unfinished drain: "If someone tries to break in here tonight and falls in that, he'll sue me."

Answer: "Not if you fill it in really quickly, he won't." 

24/05/2013 at 23:25

CharlieN,  This really made me laugh! I see you have the same subversive streak as me.

Not sure why, but these stories remind me of when I was teaching naughty classes of adolescents. I would sit at my desk, fiddling with a pencil and thinking,

'Carry on, love, and you will find out how easy it is to insert this pencil in your nose!'

Never actually did it, but threatened it a few times!

25/05/2013 at 00:53

I I have a neighbor across the street that blows all his grass clippings in the middle of the street and creates such a mess .there is nothing that can be done about it . How rude is that,I think next week when he cuts his grass I have to blow it back to his curb.

25/05/2013 at 06:37

Sounds like a good idea, DK.

25/05/2013 at 09:36

Today's little rant, then: the word "climber" as a plant description. It's a bit like "tree," isn't it? Oak, birch, weeping willow and fir are rather different shapes but they're all "trees." I've got honeysuckle, which is a "climber" in the sense that it twines around anything up to a couple of inches wide. I've got chocolate vine, which is a "climber" in the sense that it twines around anything up to a couple of inches wide. I've got jasmine, which I thought was mis-labelled as a "climber" when it should have been labelled "thing one can weave into a trellis" until I saw it twining around itself. It turns out jasmine only climbs strings and wires, not trellises. I've also got hydrangea, which climbs in the very different sense of growing like a bush but putting out little clusters of grabby roots, ivy-style, when it hits something, and an old Virginia creeper on the wall that climbs entirely by clinging to the wall that way and I've got "climbing" roses that seem to be a lot like wild roses of the "sprawling heap" type, but they're all "climbers." Last weekend I went to Homebase and they had a new Wisteria called Amethyst Falls that looks gorgeous and is labelled as ...


... a climber.


What KIND of climber? The BBC says it's a "deciduous climber." Crocus says it's "ideal for training against a sunny house wall." BlueBell Nursery finally give me something more specific: "Habit: Wisteria floribunda 'Macrobotrys' grows to be a large climbing plant which requires support as it will not self-cling."

Maybe I need to ask an Army gardener, if such a thing exists. "Thing wot goes be'ind wires." "Thing wot climbs wooden frames." "Thing wot climbs wires." "Stonkin' HUGE thing that eats trees." "Plasticky-lookin' stuff that spreads up everythin' like mould."

25/05/2013 at 14:36

CN, you naughty boy, you're making me giggle!!

Loving the army gardener description of stuff, at least it's in a language we can all understand.  As long as it's not delivered in a RSM's bellow!

I will not 'ave gossip in this jungle!!!!

25/05/2013 at 14:52

Charlie, a climber in the Army is an Infantry man, climbing out of foxholes, climbing out of ditches, climbing out of streams and even rivers, climbing out of troop carriers and finally climbing out of kit uniform boots and gaiters dropping into bed in need of support and rest.

Today's rant is Speed Bumps!!! What use are they? what do they actually do apart from break the car springs?, who needs them?
I go up the lane for my Paper and it means traversing six speed bumps each way, why? the idiots just speed over them anyway, the safe drivers are already below the speed limit and the cost of a new spring plus labour is £250. that is what it cost me.
They are in disrepair so the slope up is like traversing the North face of the Eiger, the downside you disappear into what looks like a tank trap and because there were once grass verges next to them they have become peat bogs because drivers bump up the kerb rather than risk death in the local A&E. The worst offenders are women on the school run with kids being thrown about like bags of washing in the back, the rest of the day we hardly see a vehicle apart from the 60 odd horse drawn vehicles that went along the lane two weeks ago.
Our Council have hidden camera's everywhere "err" a thought i better check my bathroom out. they could get the mad heads anytime so why mar the lovely potholed thoroughfare by adding speed bumps or as I call them "ar##" busters.
I rest my case.

25/05/2013 at 17:37

Totally agree Palaisglde,it seems that once the first speed bump has appeared they breed,until the whole road becomes like some sort of fairground ride.

I also hate thse speed controlling measures  (very popular round here)  where they send the cars  ( in single file so you have to keep giving way  )   in a series of "S" bends. Why..........people who are going to speed go straight across them anyway.

25/05/2013 at 18:17

I think the speed bumps should be linked to those radar things that display your speed. Ours only light up if they think you're speeding. In Austria they light up if you walk at them: "Ihr Geschwind: 7km/S" (that's kilometres pro Stunde not per second).

I'd link them to SQUARE speed bumps. Have three flat tops flush with the road surface, so everyone can drive over them with no trouble at all, day and night, all year ... but if the radar picks up someone going over ( speed limit + 1d6 ) without a flashing blue light the central wall lifts up four inches and *WHACK* he gets to pay for the price of repainting those yellow zig-zags outside the school that mark the area near the gates where only parents of extraordinarily precious little snowflakes get to park to drop their kids off and pick them back up.

I'm thinking ...

Bulldozer, maybe?

25/05/2013 at 18:57

@Palaisglide "Today's rant is Speed Bumps!!! What use are they? what do they actually do apart from break the car springs?, who needs them?"

Does your car still have springs? It must be a vintage then, very valuable!

I do agree with you about these bl**dy things, though!

25/05/2013 at 19:57

Don't like speed bumps myself.  However, on the other side if the coin is the road where my daughter lives.  A cut through for the impatient b's who don't want the inconvenience of traffic lights on the main roads. Type of houses where there are no garages so owners' cars parked in road.  Front gardens just a postage stamp so not big enough to park car. Speed bumps have been a godsend for her as she now doesn't worry that the speeding cars, vans and lorries, (which should never be attempting to use the road), are going to end up in her front room, or write off her car. Definitely done the job.

Feel the Council could do more.  No doubt would if one of their own lived in the road.

25/05/2013 at 20:10
TinaTurner wrote (see)

Feel the Council could do more.  No doubt would if one of their own lived in the road.


Couldn't agree more, TT. I live at the junction between an old lane and a busier road, used by some as a rat run from the town centre. There's a low bridge on a bend just down the hill from us. Cars and buses shoot around that bend without being able to see what is coming in the other direction. Parents and children walking to school use narrow pavements. The council have allowed this situation to continue for years. A couple of speed bunps would deter people from using the road as a rat run, in my opinion. The next road up from ours has a number of speed bumps all along it - because a councillor lives there. Yet it isn't as busy as our road. Speed control devices would not be needed if people behaved responsibly - but too often, they don't.


25/05/2013 at 22:18

The answer must be to get rid of all speed bumps, chicanes and any other sort of obstacle - then, install a few more cameras ( which incidentally I hate ) 

........then, most crucially, all the speed cameras should be hidden (not painted bright yellow as at present, so that we all slow down, then speed up when the markings have gone! ). People will quickly learn that unless you stick to the speed limit as clearly shown, then you are very likely to get penalised. The only caveat to this suggestion is that all limits should be reviewed and proper realistic limits are put in place - it could be a painful learning curve for some,but I bet the idiots out there now would soon calm down!

25/05/2013 at 23:10

Charlie, you're right that we need more information on plant labels. Acid/alkaline soil, growth habit and how the plant spreads itself - seed, underground runner, offsets, etc - come to mind. The term 'climber' is often misleading, since it suggests that the plant would climb if it were in the wild. As far as I can see, a 'climbing fuschia' is merely a very tall one of narrow habit that need to be supported and looks best against a wall. I agree that we need specific information about the means of support that eaach one uses. It is OK once you have attained a certain level of experience but novice gardeners can waste money on something completely unsuitable and then conclude that gardening is too difficult to bother with or that they are hopeless gardeners.