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17/07/2013 at 22:42

Don't often come on this thread but wanted to rant about my neighbour, I really don't know what to do...

It's too longed winded to explain everything but to link it to gardening it started with a fence many years ago, then the neighbour started to hammer on my walls at 4am but the council didn't believe me. This went on for over 12mths, until one day friends came to stay with their children. I explained about the neighbour. True to form the hammering started at 4am and there after every half hour, by 6am friends OH  was furious, the children were in tears and whilst I was on the phone to the police OH went round to speak to the neighbour. The police arrived at 9am, OH spoke to them and from that day to this the hammering stopped.       

Other stuff has happened since but I've learnt to live with it or ignore it, that is until this weekend.

Back to gardening. Said neighbour prunes his climbers at weekends, every weekend... usually when I'm in my garden. I have tried to be friendly -  once, said good morning, getting no reply, thinking he maybe deaf, repeated myself, but louder before eventually realising he was ignoring me. I took to coming inside whilst he pruned his climbers.

This weekend I thought why should I have to go indoors, so carried on gardening. Well that's when the vile verbal comments started. There was no one in the garden with him but he started ranting to a third person about my presence in the garden. I was remarkably calm but he was very scary. I told him I would contact the police and council if he continued as there was no need for those comments. He then started to address me again, he looked furious when I said I wasn't even going to go there with him and came indoors.

Colleagues at work think I should have called the police, I've explained to them some of the other stuff he's done. We are of the opinion he has some serious mental health issues. I'm still thinking of calling the police even it's just for them to log a complaint.

What do you guy's think I should do?        

Another rant... I'm not getting notifications at present so if I don't reply immediately that's why.

17/07/2013 at 22:43

 didn't realise how long the posting was...

17/07/2013 at 23:28

Every house owner (if you are one)  is entitled to the peaceful enjoyment of their property, by law. You could, if you wished, contact a solicitor who could send him a legal warning. That may frighten him into shutting up. Howevr, if he is mentally ill it may just send him even further off the scale. You could contact social services - he may be known to them and they may be able to help.

18/07/2013 at 09:40

Zoomer, how awful for you.  I feel guilty complaining about the dog chorus.

Is it possible to get what the neighbour is saying recorded?  This is what my daughter was advised when she had problems. Also keep a record of when incidents take place and for how long. Most councils do have an anti-social complaint system.  Give them a call.

One of the problems here is that if you are both owners rather than tenants, any complaint will have to be notified should you wish to sell, which you probably have no intention of doing anyway. If tenants, then I would think the landlord would be the first port of call, with evidence in place.

Do feel for you Zoomer.  For many years I have been able to enjoy being in my garden during the summer as the then 'kids' had thoughtful parents who realised not everyone wanted to hear either them or their little cherubs shouting and screaming all day.  How times have changed. I sometimes feel they are now in competition, coupled with the chickens and dogs!!

That is nothing compared to your plight.  Let us know how you get on please.

18/07/2013 at 10:23

tina turner .. get a dog whistle.. it works wonders.. we have them onthe cliff path yapping at 5am in the morning.. and owners do nothing to stop them..

zoomer.. that is not on.. maybe you should continue with the council/landlord and inform them you will take legal action if they dont do anything.. also try taking a small recording device out with you.. so as to get some evidence of his verbal abuse.

18/07/2013 at 11:31

Recording is a very good idea but I'd tell him that you are doing it. The law is very strange about recording conversations without both parties knowing that it is happening.

I feel great sympathy for you. I lived for some time with this sort of problem. As did the other neighbours. Have you asked others if they are also the object of this man's attentions?  He may need sectioning if it is widespread.

18/07/2013 at 13:35

I realise just how lucky I am having such good neighbours either side.  Was a bit if a worry when ex neighbours of 34 years moved on but have been so fortunate with the young family I now have. 

Know you are more than capable Zoomer, but Googled and found this:

  • Keep a notebook documenting the verbal abuse. Write down the date and time of each incident, what was said and who was present to hear it, and any useful background information.
  • Get testimonies from people who witnessed the verbal abuse, either on a digital recorder or in writing. These testimonies will strengthen your case against the abuser.
  • Record the verbal abuse on a digital recorder

Let's hope you can resolve the problem soon.

Gardenfanatic.  You have jogged my memory.  Must get one asap and give it a try. Thanks.

 

18/07/2013 at 13:54

Yes, definitely keep a diary of events. It is incredibly wearisome and emotionally draining but can prove to be very useful in the end.

18/07/2013 at 14:07

I started doing that with the dog chorus but found I was spending so much time with pen and paper and getting quite neurotic! Trouble is, with cutbacks, the council aren't interested in dog barking and tell you to approach the owner.  A lot of good that will do.  One owner denied her dog barked!! 

18/07/2013 at 14:27

Zoomer that's a hellish situation for you but I'd agree with many of the comments here and log the incidents- you already have an official 'police record'  from the story you told,and your friends information, so that's a good place to start. I was advised by police not to approach parents of 'feral children' (the 11 yr old going round on a trail bike) but to contact them on the new non emergency number 101 so perhaps that could be an avenue to go down.  I'd definitely make it clear to him that you're going to record what he says to you. If you've got any kind of 'device' you can have in your hand while you say it, that might be enough to stop him without actually having to get a recorder. I'd also say it might be worth contacting social services. Can you ask other neighbours about him? They might have useful knowledge that could help you. If you're tenants rather than owners then the Landlord's a definite starting point. 

Don't give up Zoomer. You have a right to enjoy your garden and have some peace and we're all here backing you too.

18/07/2013 at 18:29

Zoomer really sorry for you. Do you have friends or someone who could be with youout in the garden next weekend so you also have a witness as to his abuse? Apart from that I would advise what everyone else has said. If it helps document it on here and print them off then at least you will have our support.

Hope you can soon sort out this horrible situation- big hug

18/07/2013 at 18:31

I'm afraid I have to agree with the council about cutting back hedges hanging over pavements.  Have you thought about babies in strollers. If parents are busy on their phones or chatting to friends then the poor child gets it in the face.  It's amazing how quickly hedges grow. 

18/07/2013 at 18:33

Zoomed have you tried recording it, just a thought. 

18/07/2013 at 18:40

I love history.  I wish I could spend a week in every 5 years of human existence.  I'd love to be able to see the whole of the uk in William the conqueror was about. Can you imagine the wildlife 

KEF
18/07/2013 at 21:12

Zoomer you have my sympathy for what it's worth. Must be very unsettling.

I think from what you've said the neighbour does have mental health issues.

Social services will not discuss him with you even if he is on their books.

Sectioning under the Mental Health Act can only be done as a temporary measure if 2 G.P's agree that the person is a danger to themselves or others.

The council and the police will try not to get involved if the person is mentally ill.

In your position I would contact a mental health charity such as MIND, who can advise on best course of action and maybe ways around the problem..but do it as a concerned neighbour not as an upset one or you won't get help The neighbour might already be known to them and they can refer to appropriate services, you and I cannot.

If the neighbour has stopped banging on door after police intervention I would say it isn't a dementia issue, but maybe someone who hasn't been diagnosed or fails to take medication for other m h issues.

I'm not being a goody 2 shoes, just trying to help as this was my area of work for 20yrs.

18/07/2013 at 23:41

Thanks for all the responses, it's very reasuring.

You've given me lots of idea's, recording is certainly a good plan and I'm happy to tell him what I'm doing. Will need to get a little recorder but thats not a problem. Think I'll also get a lock put on the garden gate too.

We are both owner's so no landlord invloved. Keeping a record of the incidents is a good idea and as I've no no immediate plans to move, complaining to the council and logging incidents with the police will at least give him the messaage I'm not prepared to accept his unreasonable behaviour.    

Don't think it will be resolved overnight though but I'm at the point were I'll try anything so will save your responses.  I'll goggle MIND too to get advise, I don't want to make him worse.

Over the years he has annoyed other neighbours, and doesn't like children, he would regularly chase away a group which played football outside our houses or take their ball if it went in his garden. 

In the end it was more fun for the children to play knock a door run with him than to play football.

18/07/2013 at 23:50

As long as you intend staying there for a long time Zoomer, then it's OK to go ahead with any complaint.  I know that you have to disclose any disputes with neighbours these days if you go to sell.

I wish you luck and hope that you can get some peace, otherwise it's not much fun being in the garden is it.  I hate it when I am forced indoors because of inconsiderate neighbours. Not a problem at the moment as it's too hot for me.

 

 

19/07/2013 at 00:36

The disclosure bit has always put me off complaining, if I did move it would be for a bigger garden and smaller house.

One of the nicer things is he doesn't cause problems if there are visitors or during the week if I'm on holiday and at home becuase he never knows when I'm off work. I'm at home next week but got loads planned, some gardening days, friends calling and going out for the most part.

19/07/2013 at 10:22

He's a crafty b....  isn't he. Only does it when no-one else around. Could use whatever it is these days and listen to music through headphones. Have asked son to sort that out for me so, when it is a bit cooler, I can work/sit in the garden without the constant chinese torture.

Have a good week.

 

19/07/2013 at 10:45

Zoomer it does sound that the neighbour is calculating then, rather than 'unhinged' - for want of a better word. I'd certainly try recording him (or pretending to) and tell him calmly you're going to do that as you find his behaviour unacceptable and intolerable. It may be enough to scare him off. The fact that he stopped the noise when your friends spoke to the police etc shows that he realised you weren't going to be intimidated by him. 

Good luck. Let us know how you get on. 

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