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24/07/2013 at 09:20

Years ago I saw a sign. "Keep Scarborough tidy eat a seagull"..

It's the magpies that make all the din in our garden, but at least if you clap they fly off. Think they go off to steal tomatoes elsewhere.

24/07/2013 at 14:54

My MOB rant is about hosepipe connectors.  The hozelock type that you screw onto the tap.  

Someone is going around the allotment and stealing them!  I took to hiding one under my water tanks and they've even taken that one!  I know they're not expensive, but when you're all set up with hose and have a tap available it's very frustrating to then have to go shopping for another connector.  Especially when you get back and find the tap is now in use for the next two hours.  I am now taking it home, but it's yet another thing to remember to take with me.

The only birds I have issues with are pigeons - they totally stripped (I mean everything) my OH's runners and pumpkins on one plot.  She was not best pleased.  The seagulls seem to be able to target our two kids which is often very funny.

24/07/2013 at 18:19

Seagulls yeah.. they go on late then start again about 3am.. and the magpies.. sqwaking to each other.. and r bullies in my garden.. they chase off all other ground feeding birds.

Then theres the foxes all night screeching.. I love nature... but its pi

Pushing its luck at mo.. keepin me up when have just gone off with this heat.I

24/07/2013 at 18:52

KEF - I've sorted the magpies with my 'mesh door covers'...  little b*****s.

Thay are clever though. 

Re the seagull sign - about 30 years ago I bought my BIL a sticker for his car which read 'preserve wildlife - pickle a squirrel'. He loved it but I don't know how well it went down with his boss.

He worked for the Nature Conservancy Council.....


24/07/2013 at 19:36


24/07/2013 at 20:05

Totally true GG!

24/07/2013 at 20:45

I once stgod in a shop and giggled helplessly at signs like that for an embarrassingly long time. Unfortunately, the ones I remember were too rude to repeat on here. I wish I could!!

24/07/2013 at 23:13

The seagulls at Blackpool zoo are planted there to stop you loiting at picnic tables.  When I was left guarding a table whilst everyone else went to the loo a little boy came over, threw down some broken sandwiches then wandered. I'm  thinking, how sweet... but within seconds it was like a scene from the 'birds'. I fled the table for my the time everyone immerged from the loo's it was a scene of tranquility again and a family of six were seated at our table. They thought me a wuss for deserting the table, you had to be there though.  

We had a similar experience with peacocks at a farm. What a silly place to put picnic tables right in the middle of where the peacocks were housed. They came and stood on the table, we were so stunned, although wide eyed even the children were calm, we packed up the picnic and slowly retreated out of the enclosure followed by the entire flock of peacocks eyeing the picnic 

Next time we go out, wherever it is, I'm gonna suggest a nice Brewers Fare with play park to wind down the day

24/07/2013 at 23:29

the birds arent so bad where i live but all my neighbours cats have decided to keep meeting up in my garden and hosting a midnight fight club on my shed roof, the sounds they make are unbearable !!

25/07/2013 at 07:28

25/07/2013 at 08:12
Ellis Tagg wrote (see)

the birds arent so bad where i live but all my neighbours cats have decided to keep meeting up in my garden and hosting a midnight fight club on my shed roof, the sounds they make are unbearable !!

That's what happens when cat owners are too mean/lazy to get their cats neutered/castrated!

However, since you are awake anyway, why not go out there and get the hose on them, preferably with the strongest spray. Do that a couple of times and they will probably get the message!

25/07/2013 at 11:51

Cats hate the smell of lemons.  I had a patch of ground in my last garden that was being used as a toilet.  I left some halved lemons around it and they stayed away.

25/07/2013 at 15:02

Now that's a good tip, FarmerG!

Talkiing about hose connectors, I've been setting up automatic watering systems in various parts of my garden and I've bought the kits online (ebay). At only around a fiver a go, they are good value, but the connectors leak like crazy, even using plumbers' tape. Just the connectors on the more expensive versions are around the same price as the whole set on ebay, but I'm going to have to invest in some. Other than that, the cheap versions work fine. 

31/07/2013 at 15:56

Think the cats around here are citrus addicts,the smell of lemons does nothing to deter them,I even bought some lemon spray called "cat off" which I sprayed around without sucess,although the fnece smelt rather nice for a few days

Biggest birde nuisances round here are magpies,but we also get quite a few sparrowhawks,which although are not noisy,swoop down and take small birds.

09/08/2013 at 23:00

Resurrected for Stacey and anyone who feels the need to let off steam.

04/09/2013 at 12:01

Thought I would find the right thread to have a rant.

Ventured into the loft, where I haven't been for a number of years to find it chockerbkloc with boxes of goodness knows what, none of which are mine.  In fact, I could not find my little box of treasures.  The main culprit is my daughter whose loft is tiny, having had a loft conversion. So, over the years I have heard 'can I put some things in your loft', but nothing has ever come out!  Eldest son not a lot better and youngest son a hoarder anyway. 

So, I will be on the warpath.  Absolutely ridiculous and, I think, a bit of a cheek.  Must be a fire hazard with so much paper, clothes and soft toys, etc.

Rant over.

04/09/2013 at 12:31

I wonder whether it would be easy enough and cheap enough to build a sort of giant airbrush that would allow you to squirt lemon juice from your hosepipe while hosing the cats off the shed. Eh, the lemon juice would probably cost a fortune. What you need is an air cannon to fire hollow-point lemons at the cats. That ought to get the message home.

Hrm. Let me look into that. 2400 psi in a 50mm drainpipe is 4083 N, which would accelerate a 58 gram lemon at 70,395 m/s^2, so down a metre of barrel ... in 0.00533 seconds it'd reach 375.22 m/s, with a muzzle energy of 4095 J, which is more than a .30-06 Springfield or a 444 Marlin and more than four times a .44 Magnum.

Okay, you know what? I think maybe you shouldn't launch hollow-point lemons at 160 bar at those cats after all. You might damage the shed.

I could do with one of those for my car. "It's 30 for a reason, ****head. Now *BANG* back off!"

04/09/2013 at 12:35

a supersoaker water pistol would do as well. Charlie the wargames forum is somewhere else.

04/09/2013 at 13:12

All this testosterone in the air is making me feel ill. Time to go and sit in the garden.

04/09/2013 at 20:49

TT... I have the same problem with the basement.

Have a car boot sale. I warned my family it was all going to the tip but they took no notice so I took a load of stuff to the car boot last year and did really well, made over £100 .

 Some of the stuff had been there over 10yrs, how long do they think I'm gonna store it for. Me thinks they won't think about it again until I've gone to garden in the sky I'd like my my basement back before I'm 27, thank you very much.

There's an old bike which I'd like to restore and some sports car wheels which could be made into plant pots, one of the wheels would make a  really good bug hotel. I made a frame for the veg bed out of some plumbers plastic tubing. Nothing wrong with re-cycling after all they have been warned and warned again. The TV's are obsolete.

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