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gardenning granny

We've all done that Shropshire lass - nurtured something that turned out to be a major weed.

Giood to see you back from your hols GG.

I remember when I first planted a "herb" garden in a chequer-board area with paving slabs and put my rotary clothes line in the middle.  I did worry a bit about the bees around my ankles but it was the curry plant which grew vast and "scented" all the sheets that gave usd the biggest laugh.

I didn't replace it, or the rue which though beautiful threatened us with a nasty rash if we touched it on a sunny day.

The herb garden remains - filled with celandines at the moment, and low growing veronicas and sedums.....not quite the wafts of scent of crushed herbs that I intended, but quite pretty all the same.

Gardening Grandma

I've done lots of other novice gardener things, too, like wanting one of every plant under the sun, sticking plants in anywhere, not thinking about the eventual size, having no idea about the effects of sun and shade, etc. I'm still dealing with the results. I planted a tiny, winter-flowering viburnum among other small shrubs and it grew so fast that some of the other shrubs are now growing inside it and I'm going to have to cut it back virtually to the ground to rescue them. However, I did that once before and it had grown back to its original size in one summer, so it is not much of a problem! I planted an acer in the middle of a flower bed and it is now several feel high and keeping the sun from the roses meant to cover the garage wall. It is so beautiful that I can't hack it about or take it out, but I don't want to remove the other plants, either. I hadn't realised the difference in size there would be if it was out of a pot and allowed unrestricted root spread. So far, iIve just lived with the problem.

Caution: It could be one of the stupidest things you do if you ever think of planting Japanese Knotweed (I think it's called) as a quick way of covering some unsightly garden feature with a climber.
The previous owner had planted one against a tall, back-gate wall adjoining the house and it had grown so vigourously it was threatening the gutters and the foundations of the wall. I set to on its roots with spade,fork, trowel - anything to get below its REALLY thick roots and eventually broke an adze trying to lever it all out of the ground. That was 15 years ago an luckily its not come back (yet!). When the rear wall was replaced last year because it was unsafe, the mortar was so dry some of the brick courses just lifted off. It might have been just cheap brick laying but I doubt if it was helped by the powerful adhesive qualities of the invasive creeper that had been growing up and into every crack.

Back to the humour in many of these posts:
I have read every post on this thread and was going to stop and get some work done outside until I got to Maud and her spikes. I'm still chuckling here on the sofa with my lap top. Pure Beano and Dandy!
Any budding cartoonists out there who could start creating a Gardeners' Bloomers Annual for us. I'm sure it would sell!

Birdy, I too found Maud and her spikes absolutely hilarious. (Sorry Maud) I even read it out to my son whilst he was eating his dinner - he nearly chocked.

I  think she deserves first prize.



Tried to germinate a garage door remote unfortunately didn't succeed think I over watered it but the viola seeds i planted with it came on a treat. I just planted them outside and discovered the missing remote... 


Of course, it wasn't you that put it there was it John,

Agree...Maud gets her first first prize.


well i used upside down shelves for growing in and i think i must have put it on the shelf and then knocked it or forgot about it black remote on a black shelf... easy done


Don't think we can award Maud 1st prize just yet..but likely to win..I'm sure there must be so many more tales to tell...come on forkers fess up.


I'm still giggling over Maud's story; it is pure slapstick.

Going back to gardening grandma and her bees, don't hang your tights on the washing line under old Apple trees. At work talking to Boss when I felt a tickle on my leg ( this was in the days of mini skirts) looked down to find an earwig crawling up my leg INSIDE the tights.  Mad rush to ladies to remove offending insect.  blamed Hubby for hanging them by the tops and not by the feet.


I loved the idea of fennel in my garden so I bought two tiny plants last year and planted them in front of my border. Who would have thought they grow like 1m tall?... well, it was my first year as a gardener, thats the only excuse I'Ve got.


Earwig!!  Eeeeeeuuuuwwwwwwww!

(Runs shrieking for Ant powder).


First year I had a proper veg bed, grew a globe artichoke; it grew to 3m x 3m. The following year it took a day with an axe to chop up the root


I never did this but I seen somebody doing it, they pulled up the stalk of their brussel sprouts to see if there was any under ground

M F wrote (see)

I loved the idea of fennel in my garden so I bought two tiny plants last year and planted them in front of my border. Who would have thought they grow like 1m tall?... well, it was my first year as a gardener, thats the only excuse I'Ve got.

It was the plants' first year as well MF. Expect taller this year