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08/06/2013 at 11:08

Many years ago a friend who had acres of blackcurrant fields gave me about 70 blackcurrant strikes,it was late afternoon when he arrived with them;I decided I`d better get them all in PDQ,planted them as a border all around the edge of the big lawn,back breaking job but really pleased with what I`d done.Next morning had a quick look at my handywork;fine,pleased with that.Went off to do the shopping;when I came back was greeted by my then husband who said,"I`ve cut the big lawn for you and burnt up all those little sticks the kids must have put all around the lawn!"

08/06/2013 at 12:00
theohhellwitch wrote (see)

How weird(John Harding) My aunt came to stay with us for a few weeks and she did exactly the same thing with lettuce seeds instead of grass seed also in the 50`s..We also lived in Wycombe at the time(Terriers)...

Must be something to do with Wycombe then! We lived in Clarendon Road, close to the bottom of Hatters Lane below Terriers. John H

 

 

08/06/2013 at 14:23

The sticks that broke the camel's back then thoihhelwitch.

Couple of years back, I had taken all the frogspawn out of the pond and put in the kids swimming pool as I feared the Koi would eat it.  Everything was fine and eventually, there were little tadpoles and I was really pleased, as were the grandchildren.  Came home from work one day - swimming pool had been emptied out by idiot OH. 

09/06/2013 at 12:12

Buying Morning Glory after growing a magnificent one at my previous home. First coldish night n it was dead n gone. Why didn't anyone mention minimum temps required?? Oh, I used to live in Spain by the way...

09/06/2013 at 13:53

Just realised was my email on here instead of my screen name,so have put that right now(theohhellwitch is Rustic Rose)Better with a fork and spade than a computer. Years ago was making a garden from scratch,some of the ground was like rock,so had to resorted to a pick axe before laying some paving slabs..the last mighty swing with the pick axe was the one that caught in the washing linethe surprise made me let go of the pick axe which came down squarely on my head and I ended up sprawled over my pile of paving slabs...just at that moment my OH came round the corner and remarked that the sun lounger would have been a more comfy place to take a rest .When I told him(amongst other things)what had happened....and he`d stopped telling me what a silly mare I was(true) for not taking the line down first...he uttered those often heard words "I would have done that for you."  Don`t know how but managed to bite my tongue and not say,"I`ve only been waiting three months for you to do it."...I must have been in shock

 

09/06/2013 at 14:52

I had a dead old tree at the top of the garden always shedding dead branches so I thought I'll prune that myself on the cheap, great Idea was to tie my very large and heavy spanner to rope and throw spanner up and around tree branch and give it a hoick to remove dead branch, unfortunatly said spaner didn't wrap around branch but headed back down to earth to be cushioned from the ground by my head. The nurses were in fits when they said "you did what".

09/06/2013 at 14:59

Only 3 months RR.  

Baggies. Sorry.  I heard those words when I ended up in hospital after swinging from the loft hatch. Embarrassing isn't it. 

09/06/2013 at 20:25

Ohhh sorry but you have made me laugh   

KEF
09/06/2013 at 20:30

RR. B & TT

09/06/2013 at 20:44

LOL! working in A&E must be a good laugh sometimes

09/06/2013 at 22:05

I had to explain to A&E nurses once why my young son - about 6 - fell out of a dustbin

He was being a Flowerpot Man - we had just bought the video - 4 stitches in head

09/06/2013 at 23:32

planting ox eye daisies a few years back. Still having to remove the descendants now.

10/06/2013 at 00:38

This is a story of idiocy and grim determination to use alternative thinking to find a 'quick' way of solving a practical gardening problem, and how I ended up spending two days at a job that should have taken about two hours max' - the first with my head and shoulders in a deep hole in the ground and the second performing a ludicrous aggressive 'caveman' type ballet involving three bits of wood and a workmate!

Several decades ago I needed to replace an rotten fence post. Should be simple enough? But no!   Having removed the broken off top bit of post, I was left with the rotten stump embedded in its concrete foundation underground. I didn't know how to get the huge bit of concrete out of the ground so decided to reuse it.  

First I drilled, chiselled and generally chipped away at the bits of rotten wood left in the post-hole in the concrete - much like a dentist working at a huge decayed tooth. Took a good day's work ...  in a kneeling position ... In the sun!  

The next day (blisteringly hot) I presented the new post to the existing, cleaned out hole. It seemed to fit and somehow I managed to get it vertically balanced in the hole ready to bang it in with a clubhammer.

I really needed a heavier hammer - a sledgehammer - but I didn't have one and couldn't have lifted high enough anyway as the top of the 8 foot post was too high for me to get any weight behind the hammer blows.   But, being exactly the right size the post did go in ... about 3 inches! Then it was stuck! It would go no further and there was no way of getting it out again either.  

So I knew I had to invent something... A really big BIG hammer!

 I had a couple of spare beams, really thick, heavy ones. I screwed them together with a hefty hinge and wedged one of them vertical in my workmate so that the other rested horizontally on top of the jammed new post.  

I was proud of my manually operated 'steam hammer' - even if it did look a bit like a gibbet! It was my hammer!  

Standing on the workmate I could lift the transverse section of the 'gibbet' up above my head to bring it crashing down on top of the post. But when it came down I quickly realised I was going to be in the way of it achieving its full arc.   

So I got back down on the ground ... But then I couldn't reach up enough to get the huge beam high enough in the air to build up a downward momentum.   So I worked out a way of standing beneath this Heath Robinson contraption, pushing the cross beam high in the air with a stout stick and then pulling it down hard again with a rope; and if I crouchedlow as it crashed down on the post I could avoid braining myself!  

It worked! But I had to get out of the way of the beam really quickly as it came down or I would really quickly be dead.  

It was all working so well I got into a nice rhythm: push up, pull down, crouch low, CRASH! I found if I could put even more energy into the pull stroke the beam came down harder and the post went in further...Push. Pull. Crouch.  CRASSSHH!  

Now I expect you are all waiting for the unexpected happening, 'the accident'. There wasn't one - but I must have looked totally crazy, I certainly felt like a right idiot... Push, PUll, crouch,  CRASSSHH! Push, PULL, crouch,  CRASSSHH! Anyone seeing my antics, without knowing WHY I was doing it, would have definitely considered me insane - but the invention worked! 

After about an hour or two of this strange dance the new post had travelled the full length of the hole in the old concrete base and was eventually in!   And I hadn't even needed to make up a new bucket of concrete!   

If you want a punchline then it must be that I couldn't move the next day - my back went into spasm and I was laid up for a week!

 

10/06/2013 at 08:10

Rustic rose and Tina- interesting how these incidents involved 'other halves' - who are no longer other halves!! I detect a pattern 

Never managed to fall down a drain though -sorry Matty- it was funny reading it- though I doubt you found it very funny at the time !

I decide to take a clematis with me when I moved house a few years back as it was just buried in it's pot to look nice for viewings  A particularly nice dark one - I went to dig it up, stumbled - and chopped it off at the ankles. It never came back!

10/06/2013 at 08:46

Not something we did, but OH's sister was helping her hub to erect fence posts - 'Hold it here' he said as he prepared to use one of these http://www.nationaltoolhireshops.co.uk/product/manual-post-driver-for-hire/

Shame that the place he told her to put her hands was about 8" too high - she ended up at A&E with hands so badly bruised she was unable to do anything, and I mean anything with them for weeks - I'm surprised he escaped with his life 

10/06/2013 at 09:01

Ouch! - Dove, made me feel quite queasy.

But Birdy, you did very well - the goal was achieved. Shows you must be a determined and courageous person! And inventive.

10/06/2013 at 10:17

BL - I think that some of the help she needed and he had to provide was just punishment - he did not get any of our sympathy 

10/06/2013 at 10:28

Oh, Birdy. Started laughing at 'I had a couple of spare beams'. You certainly deserve a medal for determination not to be beaten. 

What a daft lot we are.

10/06/2013 at 10:33

Birdy... once you set your mind to something you won't be beaten

Love reading these

10/06/2013 at 11:16

 Nice to make people laugh  

141 to 160 of 235 messages