Fork Handles - Page 337 - The potting shed

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:02

Well I never-Elton John sends out birthday cards??

jo4eyes

27/09/2012 at 15:02

You & me both re the buss pass Kate. With my pension age shifting-- wonder if time for pass will too? Now get free prescriptions- about time in my case, but not quite in the way intended.

Mrs Mop going very slowly, but getting there. J.

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:09

John Terry is a very naughty boy-4 games ban and a £225,000 fine

kate1123

27/09/2012 at 15:09

I like a bit of Queen

Jo - Becks has a new mop and is looking forward to using it so maybe she could pop around and help

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:13

But could you eat a whole one?

Do you sing whilst mopping Jo?

Nola

27/09/2012 at 15:19

Afternoon. Really should be getting on but thought I'd pop in here before hanging out a wash load (keeping my fingers crossed it stays dry). Been at work this morning and now catching up with jobs at home.

Flo, Kate is right, I do live in North Yorkshire, in Ripon.

Don't seem to see many moths, maybe I am not looking hard enough. More birds coming to the feeders now and before the rain there were quite a few butterflies.it is so long ago that I had seen a Red Admiral that I had forgotten what they looked like. I took a photo and had to look it up.

Anyway, best crack on!

kate1123

27/09/2012 at 15:24

Is that Queen of Puddings? I would sing if I mopped

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:28

Is if the key word in that last statement ?

Do you mop Nola?-we of course steam-which is against the pleb guidelines

jo4eyes

27/09/2012 at 15:34

Sing to Abba whilst cleaning windows. Does that count?

Right, need to get moving before In stiffen up completely! J.

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:36

It does count-I like a bit of Abba- but which one?

kate1123

27/09/2012 at 15:37

I have just done the Letterman/Cameron quiz and failed, where can I emigrate to?

Of course I mop my floors everday we steam???

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:41

The royal we-as in the Queen-I have staff that do mopping under my command

What is the quiz?- saw something on news but was not paying attention

Miss Becks

27/09/2012 at 15:42

Geoff, I've grown up? I'm not feeling that! I'm very much a big kid at heart!

Who mentioned mopping? I have a mop, a new mop! Who needs mopping? When, where, with who? Count me in!

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 15:46

Kate needs mopping but you will need to explain to her how it works-it will be easier just to do it

We could have a mopping party-song suggestions??

kate1123

27/09/2012 at 16:03

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/9570769/How-would-you-fare-in-a-David-Letterman-history-quiz.html no cheating

It must be nice to have kitchen staff

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 16:13

16 right and no passes

You have to pay to get the right people

Has anyone heard of a shovel list ?

kate1123

27/09/2012 at 16:18

16 is that enough to stay ?

Nope.

jo4eyes

27/09/2012 at 16:22

No idea Geoff.

Abba 'voulez vou' is the usual one- on full blast- songs just have the right beat to deal with 8ft windows.

Daughter back early & made me a nice cuppa. J.

sotongeoff

27/09/2012 at 16:26

How do I find out how I compare- and what was your score??

A shovel list is a list of things you would happily hit in the face with a shovel-a writer has started this~~~~~~~~~

Helen Walsh's top 25 Shovel List

In with a bullet (and I wish it was a real one.) Clowns!

Herbal tea. Always smell so nice, and yet tastes so gank. It should be renamed 'Horrible tea.' It's one of life's bitterest disappointments.

Lakes. They're so smug. As if they know everything about you and you know nothing about thcite. Lakes tend to withhold. Play their cards close to their chests. You never really know what's going on with lakes, what secrets they hide in their closeted navy depths; they could be up to all sorts and you'd never know, like suburban swingers.

Being asked, "Are we having fun yet?"

Men who say, "We're pregnant."

Drivers who slow down as they approach green traffic lights. Do they want to go orange? Do they want to have to stop?

Yoghurts. The cartons with an airlock - and they always have one - so when you open the foil lid, it explodes out at you, sending millions of pink spatters flying all over your nice clean shirt

Lemons. What's the point of them?! Why can't they just be limes?

The sound of a middle-aged man chomping on an apple. When he's sitting next to me on the bus.

'Grounded' people.

'Spiritual' people.

'People' people.

People.

Female musos. Being frank with you, I just don't believe them. All that hanging around gigs and reading The Word and talking about 'jangly guitars' and 'meaty bass-lines' and such shite. They're only pretending, just to get a boyfriend. Then, the minute they land one, they crawl under their beds and retrieve their Michael Bublé poster and blow the dust balls off it and stick him back up on the wall and give him a big kiss.

Wimbledon

Paper cuts

Ironing. But I'm hardly saying something revolutionary here. I do realise that.

Magicians. No, I'm not going to pick one of your stupid cards. And I'd rather you sawed me in half than to have to watch you doing it to that girl in the spangledy bikini.

Dreadlocks... on white people

Pashminas

The smell of Juicy Fruit Chewing Gum. It is the very worst. The red mist descends on me and I want to go on a hatchet spree.

Those machines on the side of the road that flash up the speed you're going at and go red if you're breaking the speed limit. It's like they're taunting me and I always put my foot to the floor when they appear! I am proud to have my law-breaking flashed in red neon for all to see. Yes, proud!

Flossing my teeth. The tedium near kills me and raises a philosophical question: can dentures be so bad?

Know-it-alls

Avocados. I still can't believe they're food. I still can't believe that the whole world isn't just playing a practical joke on me.

- Marian Keyes, 2012

Miss Becks

27/09/2012 at 16:30

I've just bought 2 fresh pineapples from Co-Op (reduced - 50p). How the heck do I peel/slice them??