Fork Handles - Page 553

Ha ha ha. My roots are the joke of the family! They all think they are hilarious. The only one who doesn't take the mick is my Dad, who is bald!! He has his own hair problems!

A man walks into a barber’s shop and asks how many people are waiting to be served. ‘I’ve got three cuts and a shave booked this morning,’ replies the barber. The man leaves but comes back the next day, ‘How many are waiting today?’ he asks. ‘I’ve got two cuts, a dye-job and a shave,’ replies the barber. Next day the man is back with the same question, and the barber tells him, ‘Four cuts and a wash.’ This goes on for weeks until the barber gets suspicious – perhaps the man is a rival planning on opening his own barber shop in the area. Perhaps he wants to find out how much business he can expect. To solve the mystery he gets his assistant to follow the man the next time he drops by. Next day the man comes in, asks his usual question and leaves, this time trailed by the assistant. When the assistant gets back, the barber says, ‘Well? Who is he? Where did he go?’ The assistant replies, ‘I don’t know who he is, but he seems to be a friend of your wife. He just went round to your house.’

I like that one!

Just doing my job -ma'm- just doing my job

Pleased you are back bright and shining, Jean. Hope it wasn't too bad. Bit damp though to be heating less

Greetings and salutations  just going to say Hi to everyone - far too much to catch up on. That was a long day , wasn't bad in the morning then got bored and went to daughters. came back and the house was FREEZING  Lit all the candles and put coat on . Hubbie home 5 30 and power came on at 6 .

Never make tea with a pan of boiling water

Hope everyones ok and thanks for launching the rescue mission

Please, I remember Belle and Sebastian. Wanted a dog like that but parents insisted we stuck to poodles. Never had a poodle since, Not had a pyranean sheep dog either!

Remember Nana in Peter Pan and Wendy ? I think that was a Newfoundland dog. I 'ld love one of them but imagine how much food it would it would eat.

Geoff! Me n the Boss! 

After a long, hard day!

Shhhh! 

 Morning All! 

Good Morning Everyone

I will have to have a proper catch up later - so much to read

Pleased you are back to normal Jean Muffin the Mule is my earliest memory of childrens T.V

I used to love watching Trumpton and Camberwick Green when the boys were small- Pugh,Pugh,Barney Mcgrew,Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub

Also The Magic Roundabout and The Wombles

I have done some more Christmas shopping - with my knees I can't trail round the shops now Geoff - much easier online

Flippin' washing machine has gone wrong- I will have to find someone to take a look at it - hope I don't have to buy a new one

I had to go for a BP check yesterday - it was up  170/80. This morning it is 157/84 - I have to go back to  have it checked again in a months time .

Have a good day Everyone

Pam LL x

Morning forkers.

It was a trully dismal day here yesterday. Not particularly cold, but just dull and damp and miserable. I can understand hedgehogs hibernating till March. Far more intelligent creatures than humans. Almost felt like going back to bed, but thought I wouldn't sleep at night.

lilylouise wrote (see)

...I had to go for a BP check yesterday - it was up 170/80. This morning it is 157/84 ...

BP may have different causes in different people. Personally, I've found it's possible to lower high blood pressure, to acceptable 120s, within weeks, simply by reducing salt intake, and watching how much unsaturated fat you consume. Salt especially is a killer. Scare stories like this one are unfortunately true:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2032784/Salt-intake-ONE-slice-bread-salt-bag-crisps.html

Morning forkers,

Dean. what time do you get up ?    No wonder you enjoy your job

Hope your BP returns to normal soon , Pam and you manage to get washer fixed.

Georg, have just read that article - was just about to make jammy toast.

Think I may have porridge now. I knew bread contained salt but not THAT much.

Back to normal today with the lights and heating  Glad it happened when it did. I've been reading some horror stories about a cold snap coming in and folk are talking about a white Xmas . Don't mind the Xmas bit but not the rest. I did read it the Express though and Geoff says they are notorious for scaremongering.

Hope they've got it wrong.

Good morning All.

I'm going Christmas shopping today, so no doubt my blood pressure will be up by the time I get home. I have been on medication for HPB for a number of years, but it has been stabilised now. Mine used to shoot through the ceiling when the Dr took it, white coat syndrome. Bread is my weakness, I just love a sandwich

There are some really early birds amongst us, I'm usually around about 6-45. once awake I just can't lay in bed.

I remember Muffin the Mule, it was in black and white and you could see the strings! Annette Mills was the presenter, John Mills sister.

Pleased you are empowered again Jean.

Hope the washing machine job isn't too serious Pam, and you get it fixed without too much expense.

Have a good day, might drop in later if I survive Christmas shopping trip.

Chris.

Good morning fellow forkers.

Good luck with the shopping Chris.

Becks your hair is amazing, so shiny.

Glad you are connected before the weather turns cold again, Jean. Some New Yorkers are still without power and  a lot of electricy sub stations have to be checked before they can turn the power back on.  no wonder they are getting the teeniest bit upset.

Geoff, starting the day with a laugh, thanks.

Dean, do you by any chance have a dog called Nigel?

Hola peeps

Not bashing balls about today either-p'raps tomorrow-a bit damp outside but forescast is good

Jean-buy a different newspaper-somewhere in the Country will have snow over Christmas -I could have told you that and saved you 50p-but much more likely on a mountain in Scotland-scaremongering and poor journalism

Why is everybody shopping for Christmas now?-Chris and Pam- it is only halfway through November-reminds me of the Likely Lads when Bob And Thelma started in September.

Welcome back to the cyber-world Jean-were there four candles?

Glyn did you get a snog in the back row?

Hello P-Pam

Now -what shall I do now?-have done the swimming run.

Morning all, sorry about absence yesterday but I do have a good excuse. OH came off his bike on his way to work so I took him to the walk-in centre to be checked over. Nasty cut and bruising to his knee, and he had banged his head, but luckily his helmet saved his head (will need a new helmet though). But they were concerned about his neck so put him in a neck brace and he was then strapped to a board and transferred by ambulance to A&E, for X-rays. Anyway no damage save some sideways whiplash, but we were there until nearly 3pm. I didn't make it into work at all.  

I had problems getting onto the site last night, or would have reported in then!

I get the animal teeshirt adverts whether I'm using Chrome or IE. Rather alarming.

I remember Belle and Sebastian, and White Horses, and all the Watch With Mother programmes. I did like Pogle's Wood that came on a bit after that era.

Inka and Becks, sounds like you have what I like to call 'natural highlights'.  

Cycling does seem to be a high-risk activity. Even the most experienced professionals fall off, or get knocked off. Most professional cyclists have a long history of nasty accidents.

A footnote on salt in bread - the amount of salt in bread does depend on the brand and the the baker. I always read all the fine print on food labels. It's a bit tedious, but the only way to find out what you're eating. I actually have Warburton's whole meal. The fine print on the packet says it contains 0.24 grams of salt per slice.

So 2 slices of Warburton's whole meal = 1 packet of crisps. That's well within the total daily allowance, of 6 grams. Processed foods are the real criminals - pies, and ready made meals. Checking labels for unsaturated fats is a good idea too. Flora contains significantly less than most other brands.