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Orchid Lady

 KEF, laughter is the best medicine  Even if you don't feel up to posting Mike, just keep reading our daft posts, and my daft questions that's enough to make anyone with any experience laugh 


Good to hear from you Mike, you sound in good spirits (I know, at least on paper). All the best with the 'problem confined to the pouch'. Keep on the right side of the nurses and they'll keep the doctors in check for you  

I don't know your favourite flowers so thought I'd send you a seasonal bouquet in an apparatus for irrigation (hope your humour stretches this far, it's well meant and will hopefully give you a smile)

take care forum buddy.


Wow MIKE. 

What a bombshell to come back to.

   I know you like the truth as you speak your true mind and as i do and I'm as blunt as a breeze block so i hope i do not offend, as its not intended. 

  You must be scared shitless?   ( No other word for it unfortunately 'everyone'.  There is no poo /feces or manure the word i use is correct and in its right place and at the right time as much as i try to not use it.(time and place is important, and i think, this is right. So forgive me please anyone that is offended by the language and feeling alone (apart from the kids)   From what i have just read from above you certainty are not alone with this.    

Think about it as a plant problem ( tell me to shut up at any time!) Is there something we can do to make it easier for you. If you can’t think of anything now, that’s okay. Just let us know if/when you do. Are you getting all the help you might need?  

Half the battle is the mindset. Be determined to defeat cancer and you will!” Then followed that one up with. We can defeat it. I meant that if we believe we can win against it, we will. Remember its not you, its us all on here that know and we will defeat it.





  Treat it it as a plant problem (think about it and have it fixed by next year)    We don’t need to have had cancer to be a caring friend and it sounds the same from everybody one her.  It doesn't mean we will necessarily agree on how to deal with it.

Part of what i'm trying to do here is level the playing field as we are all in shock. Mike.  

Your mindset changed the days you discovered it. It was not the number of days you have.

Your friends do not look like they are going to disappear, do they?  (just read above to know)   The fact that death and illness make people uncomfortable. Is not your problem now. ( call it compost or recycling)   Its wonderful, that people accept your situation and try to help. Who else would you ask for help, who make it easy to accept it.   We will!!! Mike We will.  

All my thoughts and luck.


PS. Do not feel the need to answer this text. Do not feel the need to REPLY back. (shit that sounds like it is pity and its not!) If you need and we are close then we will , help “Would it be helpful if I texted you . what i am trying to say is do you need a hand mate???  Ha Ha i am to presumptuous.  if you need then just ask. 

Orchid Lady

Ermmm, excuse me Mike, you may have given us a bombshell but doesn't mean you can say I'm 49.....I'm not even 41 yet and you are ageing me  

If I lived closer I would come and help with your garden, but I don't, although that may be just as could end with anything LOL xoxoxox

star gaze lily

More hugs and kisses from me too Mike oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  gotta keep that blood pressure up  very best wishes to you, take care xx



Sorry Mike?

After reading ( and be-leaving to my self  it was bladder cancer??? ) Its all too close for my liking.  Sorry again if i miss understood.

You need to know your new diagnosis and how far advanced it is and then let us know, please. I don’t know anything about what that diagnose means as its too vague, from what you say. Would you mind telling us about it, and what it means for you?

How is it affecting your day-to-day life and what part of that can we help you with?

I’m so sorry to hear that You are struggling with this. 

What is the worst part of this for you and how can we help make this a bit easier for you? 

Know need to be shy now mate. That stiff upper lip will lower eventually, And you have shared it now. 

A problem shared with a friend is a problem halved. A problem shared with a GW  community is spread world wide and then it is no longer a problem as every one knows and try  to help!!! LOL.

The thing is and every one is trying to avoid saying is that "that’s depressing, let’s not talk about dying" Its part of life Mike and we all know it.

Will you ever be good again? 

It echoes in my mind now over and over again.

 Will you ever think the same again? Will anything ever be as good again?

Answer is: Yes it will but it might be different. I hate change as much as you but its not always a bad thing. look at us now. I'm on a computer and letting you know (instant) I miss the stamps!

As a last thing can i just drag up a comment that my grandmother said.  I always love my grandmother’s suggestion for one of the best questions you can ask in any situation whether it be posed to a friend, a spouse, a child, a shit***r. When someone comes to you with a complaint, a problem, or a worry asking the simple question, “Do you just want me to listen or do you want my advice?”  I hope i understand what type of man you are and will understand the question.  Its down to you Mike. We are here if you need us.

Kind regards




Edd, I thought that my honesty and forthrightness was the reason I have never been able to hold a relationship. I have been a bit careful on here so as not to alienate people too much. Wow, you really go for it! However, I agree with all you have said. You have, outright, asked Mike all of the questions we wanted to ask, but were TOO POLITE to do. Please be assured that if I was in a sim position, I would appreciate your straight talking. Some people do not want to hear truth. However, in this case, I think it is obviuos how much memebers care for Mike and how much he is cared for by family. And that your comments are well-taken. But not everyone can appreciate that.I can, I have to work hard not to be worse!

So, Mike, there is little for me to say that Edd and others have not already covered.

One thing I will say, is that I spoke to MY Dad today. We have a precarious relationship since we lost Mum suddenly, 3 yrs ago, at 62 y o. He reminded me that my 44th birthday is next wk and he has  not forgotten. I said that I felt old. But then I remembered that he will be 70 next yr.I was shocked. Some people never become old, however old they become.I have seen that so many times. Also, people who are ill, are not ill. I really believe that it is a state of mind. An ill-treated dog with cancer will die quicker than a well-loved one. Homeopathic treatments, herbalist, and all kinds of other therapies, I have seen to work for animals. They cannot know the difference in treatments, just in care and well-being.

My Nanna got cervical cancer at 74. the treatment in those days made her so uncomfortable, that after a few Radiotherapy treatments, she said, 'well, I'm 74 now anyway. I'lll die soon anyway. What's the point in suffering more before I do?' She lived to be 89. It took that long for the secondaries to get her.  She was up on a stool painting her ceiling 4 wks before she died! And she smoked like a chimney and drank whiskey like a trooper until then! Was opinionated to her last hr, criticising my clothes (i had come straight from the stables),and my short hair (I should have kept my curls!) even tho' she didn't recognise me or Mum then! She lived 15 more yrs, with a dire prognosis and almost no treatment.

So if caring alone can work, Mike, you have more than enough. We all care about you, but, more importantly, you care enough about us to need to Know how your advice helps us. That alone will keep you strong enough to beat this.


Orchid Lady

Ha ha Mike, that must have been a typo, I am still 40, honestly  (for another 2 and a bit weeks anyway!), and no offence taken really, how could you offend me!

So good to see people speaking how it is and using terms we all understand  

How are you today Mike, hope the sun is shining for you down south xoxoxoxo


OL - aren't you 27 like the rest of us laydees on here? 

Mike - I think what we're collectively saying is - we're all virtually holding your hand x

Orchid Lady

Yes FG, of course I virtual age is 27  (Along with my mental age )

Most definitely all virtually holding your hand and giving friendly hugs 

star gaze lily

I'm only 21 fairy

Anniversaries of sad times will bring back some wonderful memories too, and you remember all the lovely times together, hugs Mike.

Take care Mike, best wishes and hugs oxoxo

Sorry to hear of your illness. My thoughts and prayers are with you. When you get the date of your op start planning your future garden jobs as something to aim for even if it will be wishful thinking for a while.
Orchid Lady

How are you today Mike, ((hugs)) for your tough few days near your sad anniversary, but try to remember all the good times, I'm sure your wife wouldn't want you sad and neither will your girls.

Any news on an op date yet? 

Take care

Tracey xoxoxoxoxoxoxox 

Busy Bee2

Seconded Tracey xxx  Mike, you are in my thoughts xxx  These anniversaries are very hard - it may be better to have loved and lost, but sometimes it doesn't feel like that.  It feels more like life without someone is a pale imitation of what it once was.

Busy Bee2

As a general point, you probably do need to drink lots of water (or soft drinks) at the moment, because a bladder cancer pre-disposes you to urinary tract infections, and they make the pictures blurred and cloudy, and then they have to call you back and do them again.  And alcohol dehydrates.  That's what your doctor would tell you anyway!!!  Have the whiskey to celebrate when it's over.  But UTIs delayed my dad's treatment, so best to do what you can to avoid them.  Although I can understand you wanting a bit of dutch courage. 


Steve 309

Just seen this thread Mike.  So sorry to hear, but I'm sure you and the medics will sort it out between you.  Good luck on Saturday. Keeping calm is good


Mike, your hand is firmly but gently held. Take care my garden buddy, very best wishes. Hope the sunshine and the forum photos and banter help lift your spirits.x


Mike - since you don't have a fondness for tap water (and necter is out of the question) have you tried of of these flavoured waters? Or even just adding a wedge of lemon to a glass of sparkling water to get those fluid levels up so they get nice clear pictures of you?

We'll all be thinking of you on Saturday like rampant weeds spreading across the country squeezing ever little bit of love we can in your direction.


Orchid Lady

Awww Clarington, I like that last little sentence  X

Have only just seen this post. Sorry to hear the news. Thoughts are with you and look forward to reading that you have had some good news along with more of your garden updates soon