I've been reading through your posts and I also read your posts on the other forum although I never registered on it.
I kind of understand the dilemma you are in and wanted to say so, although I cannot offer any advice.
My mother died two years ago after being diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus and liver and as is often the case with cancer sufferers, she didn't seem to get ill until she started the treatment. She had bad reactions after only two sessions of different chemo and the second left her hospitalised until the end, a couple of weeks later.
There was a horrible moment when I took her for her second chemo session and the nurse mentioned palliative care and my mother questioned it, and I thought how is it at this stage before the question was asked! I know I'd asked her about it because it seemed like an important elephant in the room, but often people don't like to talk about it out of embarrassment.
The point I want to make is the same as Clarington and Bal have already said: it's important to know the facts so an informed decision can be made. I never attended any of my mothers appointments when she got test results so I only ever got passed-on information and I'm not sure how much she took in, in hindsight.
Anyway, the whole thing left me thinking that if the same thing happened to me and I asked the right questions, I might not accept any treatment. But you have to judge your case on its own merits.
I hope I haven't made anyone uncomfortable with my remarks, I admit I'm more of a facts person than a bedside person and on many occasions this has not been helpful, but sometimes it's good to talk truths, and please know it is kindly meant.