The NHS is in a mess at the moment. Everyone does a bit of the job, but not all of it. Everyone thinks someone else will have told you what you need to know. Nobody can keep up. When you are in distress, sometimes sticking needles into veins and arteries doesn't go so well. Nobody has ever taken blood from me or stuck needles in me and had a problem - except for the very sad time when I was in hospital having to give birth to a 20 week baby who had died in the womb. The doctors were trying to insert a cannula. It got more and more painful, and I felt increasingly stressed and like, as you say, a pin cushion. The doctor got more stressed. I was in agony and inner turmoil, because it was the most horrid time. The doctors throughout the whole process changed shifts, the least experienced get the night shift, but it is in the night, when things aren't going too well, that the patients are most vulnerable. I am sorry that your experience was frightening and distressing and badly organised. I can understand how you felt.
Unless they have told you otherwise, your bladder cancer may not be life threatening, and (ironically) it may be for that reason, that they aren't taking greater care of your emotional needs. But it would be better if they had made that clear. When my dad had it, no MacMillan nurse was sourced, and because we changed authorities halfway through the treatment, that was partly our fault. But I found out what I could, and asked the relevant questions, so we did know what was going on and why. I think your operation date sounds good - they are not wasting time - it will not be fast growing, so May 12th is a good date. Like I said to you before, I don't think you should worry about it being agonising and coming to nothing, because it wasn't like that for my dad (who had a very low pain/discomfort threshold) but got through it, despite the fact that in the middle of his treatment - between the operation and the radiotherapy, my poor mum died of a stroke - and he too had had a very close bond with her - they were married for 57 years. There really is a very good chance of a full recovery with bladder cancer.
My mum had a mitral valve replaced in her fifties, after a small hole made by rheumatic fever as a child, and I remember that she just submitted absolutely to the treatment she was given. She trusted the doctors completely, and kind of zoned out, and it helped her get through. But it is not an easy thing to do. She had good reason to trust the guy who operated on her, because he operated on Princess Margaret a couple of years later, so we thought it amazing that she got, on the NHS, the surgeon chosen to operate on a member of the royal family. But anyway, she got better, and had another 26 years of life as a result of that operation. I try to trust on medical things where I can, just because I think it helps you get through, but at the same time, stay alert to what they are doing and why.
My name is Valerie. Only my parents called me 'Val' though, and a few select others. Mainly I am Valerie nowadays, because I miss them so much xx