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24/04/2014 at 20:23

The NHS is in a mess at the moment.  Everyone does a bit of the job, but not all of it.  Everyone thinks someone else will have told you what you need to know.  Nobody can keep up.  When you are in distress, sometimes sticking needles into veins and arteries doesn't go so well.  Nobody has ever taken blood from me or stuck needles in me and had a problem - except for the very sad time when I was in hospital having to give birth to a 20 week baby who had died in the womb.  The doctors were trying to insert a cannula.  It got more and more painful, and I felt increasingly stressed and like, as you say, a pin cushion.  The doctor got more stressed.  I was in agony and inner turmoil, because it was the most horrid time.  The doctors throughout the whole process changed shifts, the least experienced get the night shift, but it is in the night, when things aren't going too well, that the patients are most vulnerable.  I am sorry that your experience was frightening and distressing and badly organised.  I can understand how you felt. 

Unless they have told you otherwise, your bladder cancer may not be life threatening, and (ironically) it may be for that reason, that they aren't taking greater care of your emotional needs.  But it would be better if they had made that clear.  When my dad had it, no MacMillan nurse was sourced, and because we changed authorities halfway through the treatment, that was partly our fault.  But I found out what I could, and asked the relevant questions, so we did know what was going on and why.  I think your operation date sounds good - they are not wasting time - it will not be fast growing, so May 12th is a good date.  Like I said to you before, I don't think you should worry about it being agonising and coming to nothing, because it wasn't like that for my dad (who had a very low pain/discomfort threshold) but got through it, despite the fact that in the middle of his treatment - between the operation and the radiotherapy, my poor mum died of a stroke - and he too had had a very close bond with her - they were married for 57 years.  There really is a very good chance of a full recovery with bladder cancer. 

My mum had a mitral valve replaced in her fifties, after a small hole made by rheumatic fever as a child, and I remember that she just submitted absolutely to the treatment she was given.  She trusted the doctors completely, and kind of zoned out, and it helped her get through.  But it is not an easy thing to do.  She had good reason to trust the guy who operated on her, because he operated on Princess Margaret a couple of years later, so we thought it amazing that she got, on the NHS, the surgeon chosen to operate on a member of the royal family.  But anyway, she got better, and had another 26 years of life as a result of that operation.  I try to trust on medical things where I can, just because I think it helps you get through, but at the same time, stay alert to what they are doing and why. 

My name is Valerie.  Only my parents called me 'Val' though, and a few select others.  Mainly I am Valerie nowadays, because I miss them so much xx

25/04/2014 at 00:05

Oh Mike my heart goes out to you. I to have taken comfort from my faith, but sometimes you just want to scream Why! all I can say is keep hold of your faith, there is a reason for every thing, we just can't see the bigger picture from where we stand. There are so many thoughts and prayers for you and yours rushing towards you right now.x

25/04/2014 at 12:05

Mike I am so sorry to hear that you have all the worry of your daughter's situation to deal with at the same time as undergoing treatment yourself.  It seems strange that a church would make someone homeless to achieve their own ends without helping to locate new accommodation for your daughter.  Perhaps Amanda's good luck was to have two of the finest kids ever.  My mum had a best friend who seemed to have a string of bad luck in her life, but the one thing she did have was three loving children, and no matter how hard she was hit, she counted her blessings on those three children. 


25/04/2014 at 12:18

Oh Mike someone upstairs really is doing their best to test you aren't they. But just remember - they wouldn't be testing you if they didn't think you strong enough to over come it.

I hope your daughter finds somewhere new to live soon, perhaps there are greater plans ahead for her and her wonderful children. Do they live near you currently?

25/04/2014 at 12:40

Mike, when my Dad came home from seeing the consultant he announced to us that he had bladder cancer. Mum was on him like a ton of bricks  Apparantly what he had been told was that he had cancerous cysts that could be removed. Dad only heard the cancer bit. Like Dove's story, Dad had laser treatment and annual check ups, resulting in one more de-coke a few years later. When he died it wasn't anything to do with his bladder

On one occasion he came out of the bathroom and announced he needed to go back to the consultant as he had a big problem, after urinating the water in the bowl had frothed up. It wasn't funny for Dad but we all laughed, having no sense of smell he didn't know Mum had put bleach in the toilet. Hope that memory of mine brought a smile to your face.

I send you hugs & positive vibes and hope all goes well for you and your daughter.

25/04/2014 at 16:37

at the bleach story KEF!

Sorry to hear you had a tough time at the hospital, Mike.  They're supposed to make you better both physically and emotionally but it sounds like they're not doing a brilliant job at the moment.  We're all thinking of you and sending our support down the wires!

25/04/2014 at 16:53

Mike - I really don't know what to say. I find it hard to believe your daughter could just be left high and dry like that, surely they must give her plenty of time to relocate? I hope you can get put in touch with some organisation that can give her support - local housing authority, Social Services and Citizen's Advice for a start. 

I admire your strong beliefs Mike, even though I'm a total atheist.  It must give you such a lot of comfort. Let us all be your shoulder for crying on - whenever you need it. x

26/04/2014 at 07:50

Glad to see you more at peace last night

26/04/2014 at 08:55

Morning Mike, so pleased you're not feeling so down. Take care, sending hugs x

26/04/2014 at 11:21

Me too.  It's a series of hurdles, to be taken one at a time.  Lots of cancer survivors say they feel better once they know that that malicious little ball of cells has been removed from their bodies, but for now, you need to plan for how you will cope physically after the operation.  Get things lined up - fill the freezer with easy meals to cook/heat up, do what you need to do with the plants so you don't have to worry about them, make sure you are stocked up with essentials like loo roll!  Get some magazines or books ready that you might like to read, or some DVDs to watch.  You will need a lot of restful stuff to do while you heal, and especially towards the end of the radiotherapy course, if that is what your doctors decide you should have. xx

27/04/2014 at 06:52

We'll wait to hear from you Mike .............. when you're ready 

27/04/2014 at 08:28

Stay strong Mike, 'see' you next week, best wishes and hugs xx

27/04/2014 at 09:32

Drink lots of soft drinks and beverages, and limit the stronger stuff before the 2nd then - they'll be looking for a very clear, clean sample before they get started!!  (I'm very bossy!)  God bless Mike xx

27/04/2014 at 10:28

I wasn't sure whether to post last night or not after Mike's last post, but seen as others have I I will 

Take care Mike, you know already we are all with you and look forward to to your posts when you are back again.

Hugs and best wishes xxx

27/04/2014 at 10:34

See you soon mike. We'll all be thinking of you and wishing you well x

28/04/2014 at 05:31

Lots of love and kisses Mike . I know you will be  OK. Hugs and kisses.

28/04/2014 at 10:42

I've just been away for a week and have just caught up on this thread. So I will add some more hugs and kisses to the others. I'm a Christian too so I'll pray that God will look after you during all this. Feel free to chat before the 13th, Mike, if you're feeling the need to talk to someone.

04/05/2014 at 23:24

Gosh they really have got their teeth into you!

04/05/2014 at 23:38

From one Mike to another.....


Comfy jammies, cozy bed,

big soft pillow for your head.

Worry not, the world can wait..

Just take your time and recuperate.

05/05/2014 at 08:42
Best wishes mike, still holding your hand.
101 to 120 of 165 messages