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31/08/2013 at 20:51


Ive been  back in the uk for the past few days as i recieved some sad news that "EMMA" (the little girl i met on the allotments years ago had died,

As it was short notice i didnt have time to reply to most of the feed back ref the plum tree saga,

Ive only got back today at 4pm and ive just read your thoughts ref my no messing about reply to any problems i feel need the correct direction to go to sort the problems out,

Ive had people say im rude, im a know it all etc etc ,

Im not one of these people to go on face book, and im also not one to give out a load of duff advice or look for a pc screen fight.

Ive not one but two gardens to tend (i) is our home the second is our gite 'both have large gardens and gardening (plus my car & dogs ) is my life, everything i learnt ref gardening was through good strong advice as to the correct direction to take to find out what i need to know,

Just because a person is a pro gardener is'nt saying they are any good, "It just says they get paid for their time,

But to have your skills in print by the likes of the "ROYAL HORTUCULTURAL SOCIETY, is saying your on the right lines to recieve the very best advice you can get, And we've so many good "in print' books to have only the best education ref gardening,

Now if after giving this advice to the new to gardening people and have "so called experienced gardeners knock my advice and say its rude etc

Well what can i say,

I'll not give any more advice or in fact give any more in-put to this forum as you think the im so rude,

Regards S.D.


31/08/2013 at 21:43

Smokin - im sorry for your loss.

im not sure people were knocking your advice, just the way it was given at times. We are all different and even though we may ask for advice some may not feel able to carry it out. Sometimes life gets in the way, not all on here may have the time and energy to spend on their gardens, whatever their passion. It would be a shame if you feel unable to continue on the forum, your advice is of course valuable, but wish you well if we don't hear from you again. Remember, no one disputes your knowledge, but it may be worth while stepping back a little to look and appreciate others feelings and abilities. Best wishes.

31/08/2013 at 22:03

Thanks for your reply,

IF i was to give a £10 note to a person who was having problems growing seeds!!

chances are they'd spend the £10 and be no better off as to why the seeds didnt grow!

If i pointed out why they didnt grow and how to get them to grow or better still where to look to find the answer to this problem and the future problem, I'd be doing that person a hell of a lot of good. & he'd know for the rest of his growing life where to look for the information for future experience.

One of the big problems today is people do not like being told "NO" they dont like being told what to do for the best, and the same people have problem after problem.

As far as im aware we dont have any rules saying you must only reply in such and such a manner, what may seem rude to people in one part of the country wont in another part of the country,.

I myself believe in black & white and not messing about with all this rubbish about how not to say things how they are,

I dont feel for one minute ive been rude, more like to the point & now lets get on with the answer to the problem in hand,

It's all very well saying 'but the person asking the question is very good to old ladies and budgies,

But he hasn't a clue or the common to see a tree over loaded with fruit,? Or the next problem thats coming his way ref this subject, the best way forward is to plan ahead and know the correct direction to look before a problem appears.

Thats all i was saying, no more no less.

I do wonder if half the people on here do have a garden? If so isn't it a god send to be able to avoid the cost of mistakes after mistake in this day and age?

31/08/2013 at 22:11

SD, you have been given advice on etiquette and you seem not to have heard it or chosen not to act upon it.

I repeat, it is not your advice that has been questioned.

Why does it hurt and annoy you so much when others do as they do? surely this is wasted energy and can only cause you yourself distress. It seems similar to road rage, but what is the point of being angry at some one elses mistakes?

Consider the advise yoiu have been given, perhaps apply it to all aspects of life.

does it matter if people don't have gardens, if they fantasise, its not our problem.

I guess im saying, relax a little.

Best wishes

31/08/2013 at 22:13

You just don't get it do you?  You were rude and unkind about people who were asking for help.  

You've obviously never felt the need to ask for advice.

31/08/2013 at 22:22

Seems like Groundhog Day again.

31/08/2013 at 23:14

Smokin, that's very sad about Emma

I think we are all trying to say ??ou write some challenging articles.....I actually enjoy them ( be a great pity if you stop.) but maybe you come across a little strong.  I say this cos I am guilty of this myself, not just on the forum but in my daily life too.  

Smokin, this is a friendly forum and most posts are made with good intentions.  I give "advice" simply based on my own experience hoping if helps others here.  Your posts are unique and thought provoking so keep "smokin" smokin.

31/08/2013 at 23:19


People don't like to be told that they are stupid. 

That's all you have to remember before you make an observation.


01/09/2013 at 08:04

Your knowledge was never doubted,your manner of giving advice was,as has been pointed out many times recently.

From you starting this thread which is only a repetition of how the comments went on other threads is clear you don,t get it.

If you choose to leave the forum,so be it.


01/09/2013 at 10:33

It seems that you should be taking some of the good advice you have been giving out



One of the big problems today is people do not like being told "NO" they dont like being told what to do for the best, and the same people have problem after problem.


You appear to be having problem after problem not with the content of your messages but the manner in which they have been written and people on the forum have tactfully pointed this out to you.

It sounds like it is now up to you to take on board your own advice and observations and those of the board and see if you can sow your seeds more productively...

01/09/2013 at 10:41

that swift uppercut was precise and to the point.

01/09/2013 at 10:48

Tactfully and politely phrased as well

01/09/2013 at 11:59

Well done Daintiness.

SD take your own advice !

01/09/2013 at 13:10

Think I need some lessons from you Daintiness about being tactful.

01/09/2013 at 13:13

Hey......wot about me?  I'm tactful. I just think we need some stirring comments at times

01/09/2013 at 13:19

I'm all for stirring comments

just not so keen on



01/09/2013 at 13:33

01/09/2013 at 14:28

Stirring comments interesting........RUDE comments unwelcome

01/09/2013 at 14:34


SMOKIN DONKEY wrote (see)


 It's all very well saying 'but the person asking the question is very good to old ladies and budgies,

But he hasn't a clue or the common to see a tree over loaded with fruit,?



This is rude.



01/09/2013 at 14:38

Also bad grammar and spelling. Also tapeworms are not bacteria.

1 to 20 of 24 messages