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Doghouse Riley

1.Law of Mechanical Repair -After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

4.Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6.Variation Law -If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.  
  7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Last edited: 11 January 2017 15:32:08

Doghouse Riley

Continued.

10. Law of Biomechanics -The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers- If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15.Law of Logical Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

madpenguin

Hehe. 4 and 5 happen to me frequently! 

Last week I was in one of two queues for two customer service points. The 'gentleman' in front of me took 15 mins to have his issue resolved (which included him phoning a supply company and using some  very non-BBC language) yet I had to wait until the queue next to me was empty before being served, even though the three of the four people in this queue were in line after I arrived. Luckily I passed the time by discussing queue etiquette with the lady behind me (which I think she enjoyed?) 

In our staff canteen there are two cashier points - but instead of people forming one queue and be served once they reach the front of the queue - they form two queues, of which I always manage to be in the slower one! I wonder if there is a scientific best method?? 

Doghouse Riley

2 and 13 are most common ones. The latter this  afternoon at  golf. Well there were others in  but nowhere near me and another member.

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B3

So it's not just me then. Great post dhr

Busy-Lizzie

Made me laugh, but it' all so true 

Aster2

Is the fact that you have two number fours in that list deliberate, or another example of Sod's law?

Doghouse Riley
Aster2 says:

Is the fact that you have two number fours in that list deliberate, or another example of Sod's law?

See original post

 Never actually noticed I just copied and pasted it from an e-mail received  from a friend.

Curious though

Doghouse Riley

As it was a cut and paste I had to split it as it wouldn't take the whole list in one post. Now I've just noticed it didn't take the last two. No. 18 applies to me quite frequently.


18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, or that really works, they will stop making it.

19.
Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better... But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

I think you missed Boyle's Law of politics: The greater the external pressure, the greater the volume of hot air (courtesy of Flanders and Swann) 

and

The universal rule of engineering design: Never underestimate the ingenuity of fools.

There's also the Theory of Plan A: However many different options you consider, the first one you thought of is usually the best (there is a variant of this known as the Womens' Law of clothes shopping: However many shops you go into, you will always ultimately buy the first thing you tried on)

B3

With regard to the law of clothes shopping if buying for OH, you select a maximum of two items:

"Here, try these on. That looks great. You go and pay for it.I'll just have a look around. Meet you back at the car."

Job done

Doghouse Riley
B3 says:

With regard to the law of clothes shopping if buying for OH, you select a maximum of two items:

"Here, try these on. That looks great. You go and pay for it.I'll just have a look around. Meet you back at the car."

Job done

See original post

 I don't get involved.

If my wife selects two items for herself and asks me to chose one, if I do she'll ask; "What's wrong with the other one?"

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