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Charlie November

Latest posts by Charlie November

Worries & troubles that affect Forum friends.

Posted: 23/12/2014 at 20:12

Been pretending not to mind the way a rich old man treats me for 38.75 years. Is that what prostitution feels like? Ran out of ability to fake it a month ago. Unplugged phone. His gf e-mailed me a week ago, trying to stay friends. No reply. Had to plug phone back in for some e-shopping hiccups. Just had a call. He's got a table booked for Christmas dinner. Turned him down. He seemed surprised. I hung up. Then I got a bottle of rum out and drank straight from the bottle. Takes quite a lot of alcohol to get back to "functional" after hearing his voice. Probably left everything to my brother anyway. So hard to get the dose right some days. Fiancee's birthday just went past. She dumped me in the most painful way she possibly could, on purpose, 15 years ago, and I'd LOVE to get her out of my mind, but that'd be like getting the carvings out of Angkor Wat. So what's on the media player?

You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do...

Camera Corner

Posted: 22/12/2014 at 22:37

I saw Jupiter a couple of years ago, late at night. The Sun was somewhere behind the curve of the Earth, NNE of us, and high in the sky to the south was a big, round, breamy-coloured ball of light. One guy was absolutely convinced it was Venus and would not be told otherwise. He kept nodding and agreeing, and then saying it was Venus.

Preposterous question....

Posted: 18/12/2014 at 19:06

"When all you've got is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail."

Try telling that to a blacksmith.

Forest rangers who want to get away from it all? Presumably, they go to the desert. It's a bit like time-travel.

Before people


More people

Too many people

Too many people, not enough resources

After people

Long after people

Maybe they just hire boats and go out onto the ocean, not so much "away from it all" as "above it all." (Curious trivium for the day, courtesy of xkcd: the Edmund Fitzgerald, the Kursk and the Lusitania all sank in water shallower than they were long.)

Preposterous question....

Posted: 17/12/2014 at 18:40

I've found proof positive that women are, in fact, even more stupid than men. Sorry, but I have, and I feel obliged to share it.


Men fall in love with women and ask them to marry them. That's stupid alright.

Women, though? Even more stupid than that, they only go and say "Yes!"

Preposterous question....

Posted: 15/12/2014 at 18:31

"Are men more stupid than women?"

That depends on the number of attractive women around at the time, doesn't it?

Actually, it's not that simple. The longer it's been since any attractive women were around, the lower the bar gets set for "attractive," so over time men have to be either isolated more and more or occasionally exposed to really gorgeous women to reset their scales and ...


No, Jonnie, that does not mean you're supposed to expose yourself. Put it away.


Where was I? Oh, yeah, Jennifer Connelly in Blood Diamond. That teenage crush half my generation had on her in Labyrinth? I have that now. Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener was lovely, but not a ...


Wait. That's not where we were. Erm ... Men? Stupid? Yes. Heck, a lot of men read the Sun and aren't offended by its BS. Then again, most of the people buying the Daily Mail again and again because they agree with its hate-filled rantings are women, so "more stupid" is probably a better term than "less intelligent."

Of course, if you believe this chart, men are more stupid and more intelligent. Just not all men.


Posted: 11/12/2014 at 19:32

Brian Cooper:

No Scrooge, I! I love Christmas ...

... starting after Saint Lucia's Day on 13 December.

Kids fizzing with excitement, families meeting up, tinsel and little paper dolls and twinkling lights everywhere, the youngest being held up to put the fairy on top of the tree, the growing pile of presents, the mobs of children singing Silent Night in 12-part harmony ... It's wonderful.

What I don't like is the way it starts in August. Let Lucia have her day. Save Christmas for Christmas.


What are you getting rid of...?

Posted: 25/11/2014 at 17:12

Re: weeping sap:

What is bacterial canker?

Bacterial canker is a disease caused by two closely related species of bacteria that infect the stems and leaves of plums, cherries and related Prunus species. It is one of the few important plant diseases caused by bacteria in the UK.

Cankers begin to form in mid-spring and soon afterwards shoots may die back. Shotholes appear on foliage from early summer.


You may see the following symptoms:

  • On stems and spurs: Sunken, dead areas of bark develop in spring and early summer, often accompanied by a gummy ooze. If the infection spreads all round the branch it will die rapidly
  • On leaves: Small brown spots appear which are often round and fall out later to leave holes – as if the leaf had been hit by shotgun pellets, leading to the popular name of ‘shothole’
Control Non-chemical control

Where possible, carry out all pruning in July or August when tissues are most resistant. This is also the best time to prune in order to minimise the risk of infection by spores of the fungus causing silver leaf disease. Cut out all cankered areas, pruning back to healthy wood and paint promptly with a wound paint to protect the wound from re-infection. Burn or landfill the prunings.

The cherries ‘Merton Glory’, ‘Merton Premier’, ‘Merla’ and ‘Merpet’ and the plums ‘Marjorie’s Seedling’ and ‘Warwickshire Drooper’ have some resistance.

Chemical control

Copper-based fungicides (Fruit and Vegetable Disease Control and Bordeaux Mixture) are effective against bacterial disease and are permitted for bacterial canker control on plums and cherries. Make three applications from late summer into mid autumn. These products are not approved for use against bacterial canker on peaches, but the use of these products to control leaf curl disease on peach will give some incidental protection.

What do you have left to do in the garden this year?

Posted: 24/11/2014 at 17:41

Left to do this year: maybe prune this end of what's left of the privet hedge. Loosen the screws on a bird box on a tree. Probably rake up another load of leaves. Plink any more rats that find their way to the bird feeders. Get a tree surgeon to deal with ... several issues.

Left to do some day: remove what's left of the privet hedge and replace it with a sweet box hedge that's more resistant to honey fungus. That's going to be a brute of a job, because ... because ugh. Also because the hedge is between a fence and a flower bed. Also because if I want to extend the hedge to its proper length I need to somehow plant through the Akebia that was under it when it started and is now a full metre from its end. Also because at least some of that hedge is rooted under tarmac! I tried to remove the dead trees to inflict a major setback on the honey fungus and I found a layer of tarmac under the lawn. Apparently the builders spread rubble over the drive and turf over the rubble.


Posted: 24/11/2014 at 17:32

Thanks for the offer, LesleyK, but I'm working today up to Christmas Eve and Boxing Day up to New Years' Eve, so the bird feeders are about as far as I'm likely to go.

As for that song, it took some searching (through some lists of really bad song titles) but ...


When I got home in the dead of night
I chanced upon an eerie sight
For there before me in the pilot light
Was my dear old white-haired gran
She looked at me with a glint in her eye
Threw back her head and let out a cry
She hitched up her skirt
And began to ride
Amongst the pots and pans

Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
If the neighbours were to see you
They would think you awful strange
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range

Well she sucked upon her whisky
Like it was going out of style
Things were really heating up
Because she had been there a while
And I was getting anxious
In case she burst her piles
But she was revving up
To do another twenty miles

You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
If you go at it much harder
The hob won't take the strain
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range

Well granny kept on riding
Like she was on the pony express
But nuts and bolts were popping
The stove was under stress
The whole lot came crashing down
In one God Almighty mess
She caught her knicker elastic
In her walking frame
Choked herself to death

You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
To have her surgically removed
Was something to arrange
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range

Well granny she was buried
All the mourners stood and cried (boohoo)
And the preacher said
"She's gone to Jesus (hallelujah)
To walk right by his side"
But I know something different
So I couldn't help but smile
'Cause granny's gone a-riding
In that gas showroom in the sky

Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range
Now Granny's gone to Heaven
To ride with Jesse James
Was something to arrange
Get off the gas stove granny
You're too old to ride the range


Posted: 23/11/2014 at 11:32

KEF, she's not called Gretschen, is she?


Discussions started by Charlie November

Holy glyphosate, Batman! What's that?

Huge thing with tiny white flowers and heart-shaped leaves 
Replies: 16    Views: 679
Last Post: 24/06/2014 at 16:52

Rose cuttings: timing

Replies: 7    Views: 472
Last Post: 31/03/2014 at 17:26

When is honey fungus not honey fungus?

At least I didn't spend anything. 
Replies: 18    Views: 1831
Last Post: 26/10/2013 at 16:46

Apple tree with white leaves

It seems to be healthy enough, if slow-growing 
Replies: 2    Views: 423
Last Post: 10/09/2013 at 18:34


Not a lily. Not an apple tree. 
Replies: 6    Views: 594
Last Post: 10/09/2013 at 22:29


Planning? Measuring? Me? 
Replies: 17    Views: 992
Last Post: 07/05/2014 at 16:57

Leaving tulips in the ground

Can they be left in if the drainage is good? 
Replies: 14    Views: 2579
Last Post: 13/05/2013 at 08:09
7 threads returned