Posted: 04/01/2015 at 15:04
Irresponsible dog owners.
Wandering domestic and feral cats.
People who talk on mobile phones while driving ... and their cars.
Brussels sprouts. I can actually eat them. For years, I couldn't, and I was told not to be stupid and to get them down me. There must be millions of children being abused like that every Christmas. Allelocide FTW. Get rid.
Land slugs. One got into my bedroom once and I stepped on it in the dark. *POP* Slug guts everywhere. Also: lungworm.
Ebola haemmorhagic fever.
Sudden oak death.
Sudden ash death.
Professional football. I don't mind people playing it, but as soon as money gets involved, *teleport enemy* goodbye!
Everyone who thinks their children are entitled to everyone else's time, money, effort, consideration, cars, homes, help et cetera above and beyond all other concerns because they're theirs.
The Ayatollahs of Iran. Not the President. Not the Ministers. Not the rest of the government. Not the ordinary Mullahs. Not the population in general, who are all lovely people. Just the religious nutters in charge preventing us from all getting along.
Hamas leadership. Not the ambulance drivers or teachers or sewage workers. Just the leadership and the chain of command behind the rocket launches and the burning down of a UN school in the Gaza strip (for not segregating 8-year-old boys and girls).
Hip-hop, reggae, R&B and rap, and everyone who's ever presented BBC Radio 1.
Capital and Capital Extra radio stations while I'm at it.
Tony Blair and Peter Mandelson.
Every grey squirrel, black squirrel, brown rat, black rat and American mink in the British Isles.
Every car parked in the "pick-up / drop-off only" lane anywhere in the past or next year (except ones picking up disabled people).
Facebook and Twitter.
Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Avigdor Lieberman, Jeremy Clarkson, Rupert Murdoch and the Daily Mail.
Everybody in favour of FGM. I'd teleport the lot of them to the Moon if I could. No, no space suits. Just them as they are.
Child-molesters ... unless there's a Room 201 or something where I can put them, somewhere worse.
Unexploded cluster-bomb sub-munitions. Not many around here, but they're horrible enough to get a place on my list.
Anyone who ever threw a live hedgehog into a lit bonfire.
If I keep going long enough we'll have solved that whole question of how to cut carbon emissions by 90% in 35 years, won't we?