Posted: 26/09/2014 at 19:20
The Carpenters - while fixing the trellises.
The Birds - while cleaning bird-houses.
The Stranglers - while clearing bindweed.
The Shadows - while shooting rats.
Madness - while clearing up cat poo.
The Cure - while tending to the feverfew.
Skid Row - walking on exposed tree roots on a slope in the rain.
The Eagles - a little ambitious, but I'd be delighted if they came.
Gladys Knight - while tending to gladioli.
Iron Maiden - where I'd like to put the neighbours' cats!
Billie Jo Spears - another possible solution to that problem?
Chopin - firewood an' haulin' it to me father's place ready for winter. Sorry.
Nobody Does It Better (even if that's only because I'm the only one bothering to do it at all)
For Your Eyes Only (well, actually, the dustbin men get to see it too, every 2 weeks)
Take My Breath Away (Really dusty ivy)
A Forest (takes a lot more maintenance work than you might think)
A Hazy Shade Of Winter (feed the birds and go back inside - sod the plants)
A Red, Red Rose (got two of them)
A Rock And A Hard Place (what I usually find when trying to plant fruit trees or dig out stumps)
A Thousand Hours (and it's still not done)
A View To A Kill (damnable grey squirrels)
Afraid To Shoot Strangers (so make sure you know what's behind that squirrel)
All By Myself (except that there's a man who comes round to mow the lawn)
Almost Over You (from the akebia to the fence - direct sunlight is within reach)
The Apparition (is nature's way of telling you to put away the toold, go inside and get something to eat)
The Ash Grove (well, three ash trees and one knee-high stump that regrew)
Autumn Leaves (make a mess)
Bad Medicine (not that I'm growing any such thing, as far as I know)
Bed Of Roses (does he mean the blooms or the thorny stems?)
La fleur que tu m'avais jetee (est mort, mais j'ai quel-que chose avec des fleurs comme la)
Che Gelida Manina (È necessario indossare guanti)
Clair de Lune (Les chauves-souris ont besoin d'amour trop, non seulement les oiseaux)
The Crimson Petal (on the ground indicates that rose has finished blooming)
Dances With Wolves (er, no, not in this garden)
Eden (you flatter me, Sarah)
El Condor Pasa (that would be most unexpected)
The Walk To The Paradise Garden (give me another 500 years to work on this and another 1000 acres and about £5,000,000 in the bank and I'll try, but no promises)