Posted: 21/05/2014 at 11:44
Firstly - don't try pulling it out yourself tempting though it might be - if its attached itself to a clot or such like it will create an awful mess and pain. Much better to let the nurses do it and then they can be on hand to mop up anything unexpected. I'm sure the chances of that happening are tiny but the last thing we want is for you to take any risks. Now they don't normally hurt but we can all imagine that while you were under the doctors were less than gentle with all the tugging and shoving making sure they got all the cancer out so its no surprise you're going to be bruised all over. But they really ought have given you something a little stronger than paracetamol to take as required.
Secondly - get yourself off to A&E if you think you're up to the car journey. Yes I know we don't like to bother the nurses with such minor things but believe me they're used to it and would rather treat you, a polite gentleman left high and dry by the NHS now desperate for help than a drunk who thinks its his right to get as pissed as a fart, fall over banging his head, and assault a nurse because she wouldn't let him keep hold of the vodka bottle.
Unfortunately A&E tend to have to look after the likes of you a lot as paperwork gets lost and appointments slip. A friend who works in A&E has told me this I am fortunate not to have to experience it. A&E will either sort you out there and then (especially if you just want it removing) or get you booked in the system (again) and push you up to the right department to get you treated.Once you're in the system there'll be a nurse ready to fight your battle and make sure you get the treatment you need.
Thirdly - if you can't face the journey phone your GP and tell them that unless they can get out to see you TODAY than you will have to call an ambulance. Make it your GPs responsibility to either treat you or have you taken to A&E. This way when you call for an ambulance (don't worry they wont be flashing blue lights over in three minutes jobby they respond as appropriate so you may have to wait a while as a "low priority" case - use the 112 number) both the person taking the call and the paramedics who arrive will be aware that you've been abandoned and been forced to do this and if they're anything like my friends will be swearing bloody murder at the people who have left you like this. I had a trip to hospital in an ambulance after an operation went wrong several years ago - I just couldn't sit up long enough to survive the car journey without passing out after a few minutes (my spinal fluid was leaking out the hole they'd made) . The chaps who looked after me were so kind to me and told me that they weren't on 999 calls they were a dedicated team picking patients up their homes / GPs to be taken to hospital.
Fourthly - a cotton bud with a little diluted TCP is quite helpful for cleaning up around your spout / catheter interaction point and might help keep it clean so any infection can't develop. I find a cotton bud gives you a little better griping point so you can be very gentle.
Oh Mike you should see my blood pressure seeing you struggle like this. I wish I lived close enough to be shouting down the telephone on your behalf.