Clarington


Latest posts by Clarington

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 10/07/2016 at 19:25

Sun rain food sun rain food drink rain rain rain sun food rain repeat.


My stomach is fit to bursting! 


But worse to come. My detox tea (part of my "try curing yourself based on suggestions from the Internet" due to the GP being too strained to see me) bares the warning "may produce laxative effect"  With this much food in me should I be warning Yorkshire water??


The family have now departed. The dishwasher is working hard.


I'm just going to lay here!

Positive visualisation for the doc

Posted: 10/07/2016 at 07:30

You're right Lily. Why use the fire engine when I've a riot van with functional transportation cage in the back...



Perhaps we could drive the neighbour into the countryside and let him find his own way home?


Surely this is positive thinking? They're always encouraging people to get out more and exercise!

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 10/07/2016 at 07:26

Morning all. 


Pat I hope you feel better soon.


Well the sun is currently shining and family are expected in a few hours so dare not check the weather report! Hosta; typical isn't it. I'm sure that if I ever had a surprise day off it would snow just to put paid to plans to enjoy the (currently full of frogs) garden.

Positive visualisation for the doc

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 23:01

I'm mainly imagining the damage we could do with 400 gallon of water at full  pressure to knock some decency into this neighbour.


But I hope, just hope it helps a little pdoc

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 22:58

I've got adverts for Yorkshire Bank. Now I believe the adds are meant to "tailor" to your search history... so what have you been looking for of late??


His lordships family will be arriving at 09:00 tomorrow so expect heavy rain throughout south Yorkshire after that :(

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 17:09

DD; don't go. Explain to him - with crayons if needed - that you need to prepare yourself and so will be too busy.

Summerhouses

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 12:37

A roof by its very nature should act as a shelter. Thus it shouldn't leak. Go to citizens advice and see what they can do regarding you claiming against the company.

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 12:33

Hosta: your post just reminded me of a conversation I had with a wedding photographer. The happy couple spend £1,200 for him to record the day.


He sets up a beautiful pose the sun in the perfect position and as he takes the image he sees three camera phones being waved in shot ruining his efforts. Thus happens throughout the day. Some people he never even sees their faces. He watches the "I do" with care and passion yet through his camera sees people fiddling on their phones missing the important moment.


What do they remember of the actual wedding? Do they remember the colours the smiles the way the sun shone on their faces? I rather doubt it.


When I get married I will have a sign that will read "anyone who cares more for their phones than for us is asked to leave now. Anyone who cares more for us please put them away; we've paid a lot of money for the photographer to do the hard work. Enjoy the moment!"


I may also anyone found playing with their phone before the speeches will be made to put enough cash behind the bar to buy a round for ALL the guests.

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 09:56

Do be careful Wonky!!


Well the rain is falling! Glad I cut the lawn yesterday. I wonder if I ought suggest that guests bring water proof tomorrow.


Since the GP services near me are so over strained their last advice was to " try googling your condition and see what treatment suggestions you can find and just play around until something works " I've just ordered some detox tea. It sounds like it will taste awful! Tea here is Yorkshire and a splash of semi skimmed not sixteen herbs and fruit floating in it! Still it's one of many Internet cures on my list.


Still then... anyone for a brew?

HELLO FORKERS! July Edition

Posted: 09/07/2016 at 08:08

Morning all. We're meant to be scrubbing the house today ready for family visiting tomorrow for a BBQ...


... apologies for any thunderstorms and high winds in Yorkshire we'll take the blame for mentioning the idea of a BBQ!

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