Dordogne Damsel

Latest posts by Dordogne Damsel

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Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 14/01/2017 at 18:37

Evening all,

Good day today.  Charlie with me and he has been a star, helped me tidy the garage so we can fit the car in, helped take rubbish to the tip and then we baked some biscuits. Dinner tonight is home made carrot and coriander soup, roast chicken with thick gravy and lots of veggies and all followed up with a tarte aux pomme and we are going to snuggle up and watch 'The Boy in the Dress'. Having Charlie with me makes such a difference. 

I did have a couple of wobbles though, in the shop in a big queue had a feeling of wanting to run but stood my ground, then a friend sent an e-mail saying how much she admired me and what an inspiration I was, I felt so overwhelmed, I know I should be pleased but it is all too much and the way I am at the moment makes me feel like a fraud. I am sure things will get better, the doctor says it will take a couple of weeks for the tablets to work although he has given me some 'instant fix' ones for bad moments in the day. I am trying to avoid them though, I just don't like the idea but at least I know they are there if needed. 

Tomorrow I am going out running, Charlie is going to lead the way on the bike, hoping to get 6 or 7 miles in, I need to do something after all that chocolate and the date for the marathon is coming up fast. 

Hope you all have a good evening, I hope the weather is kind to you all. 

Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 13/01/2017 at 09:46

Morning All. 

Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 12/01/2017 at 22:49

Evening all, quick check in. I'm ok (ish). Challenged ex OH re ski trip & got out of it, said not appropriate & not fair to Charlie, he backed down. Really spelled out we are 'done' & to try & imply anything else was unfair to all. I was strong & steadfast at the time but feeling a bit wobbly now. Anyway, it's done, it needed to be done & I'm absolutely adopting the "no" first policy as advised by obelixx. 😊

To mention gardening for once, very pleased to report a plethora of daffs on their way up in my little garden, they look a bit blind but early days yet. Nice surprise. 😱

Watched 'The Witness for the Prosecution' tonight, thoroughly enjoyed, although got through half a box of of Ferrero Rocher in the process. 😳 

Good night all, hope everyone ok. Sleep tight. 😴😴

Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 10/01/2017 at 16:37

You are all so kind.  

"Boyz"  Punkdoc, would that be you & Hosta?, If only. 

I've now had a sleep, got up, done all the i*****g and cleaned the house from top to bottom - don't worry, it's only small so took all of 20 minutes, however, they were tasks I've shunned for the last week almost. 

Charlie is home with me now for a couple of days and then it's my week-end with him. 

As far as ex OH is concerned, Obelixx that sounds like a very good strategy, I certainly need a very robust one, he is so devious and so intimidating. This last incident went along the lines of him asking me if I was "going to take Charlie skiing again this year," I said yes, he said "the same place", I said yes, he said "week- end or midweek", I said midweek, he then said "what dates are you looking at", I told him, "Ok, I'll go and get it booked for us then" and walked off. Of course I was totally speechless. I thought he was asking so he would know when he could take Charlie on holiday with him, he can't ski, he has never skied, he didn't come with us last year, why would he even consider he would come this year. I know when I confront him about it he will accuse me of agreeing and then changing my mind, not thinking of Charlie and so on and so on. I think I may have to send him an e-mail because otherwise it will be just awful. It's so hard when on the face of it it seems like a nice kind gesture, paying and organising a holiday for me, but it would be the worst thing I could do I am sure. What kind of messages does it send to Charlie, to him and a few days exclusively in his company and I would be back to where I started 6 months ago. Why would he even want to go with me, I just don't understand him. 

Anyway, besides that I feel a bit more upbeat, but still a long way to go. One step at a time. Perhaps a slice of that lovely cake will be the bets thing for now.  I might have to consider buying a new handbag too if I have to fit you all into it. 

Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 10/01/2017 at 14:02

Hello all,

A big thank you to all who have commented on my difficulties both on here and via PM's. You are all extremely supportive and I do really appreciate your comments and am taking note of all the very sound advice.   

I have had to go into Limoges today for a very important meeting regarding the 'Chateau de Gateau'. I didn't think I could face it, I didn't think I could go, even at 7:30 this morning. As I woke up I was ready to hide back under the duvet. But I went, I managed the meeting like a professional business woman, I received some excellent feedback and I have - at last, finally found somebody, and not just somebody but the right person in the right department, who is going to help me with the French paperwork for the bank - for free.  It wasn't a lot to ask, I have been knocking on doors for 5 months trying to find that person, it's no wonder I feel the way I do. Anyway, it is a small victory in what will probably be a very long war, but it's a big step for me, particularly the way I feel at the moment. I am still going to follow the advice of the doctor, life shouldn't be this difficult to face each day and I need every available ounce of armour available. Right now though I am off for a lie down. 

Thanks again too for your caring and encouraging words. You are a fabulous bunch. 

Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 09/01/2017 at 21:48

Evening all,

Just a pop in to say hello. Not too good at the moment but I am getting help. A friend is dragging me to the doctors tomorrow, not sure what he can do to help me, a man who can unpack French bureaucracy would be more useful but she is adamant I need to see someone.

Unfortunately and embarrassingly, and I don't know why I am telling you all this, I ended up in a heap in a lay-by last night just wanting to curl up and die. It wasn't a suicide attempt or anything silly like that, just over-tired, stressed out and hugely disappointed about lack of progress. Ex OH had done a particularly neat job of coercing me into agreeing to something I don't want to do earlier and I felt totally stupid for being ambushed like that and stressed about how to get out of it. I had driven a very long way to a meeting with someone who had told me she had lots of help to offer in terms of getting grants and start up loans for my business and in actual fact managed to tell me nothing I didn't already know and I had to pay100€ for the privilege, so felt pretty stupid over that. It was cold, it was late, I didn't want to go home to an empty house, I was crying so much I couldn't see, everything was buzzing around and around in my head so I just pulled off the road and had a complete breakdown in the dark. Totally stupid and unnecessary. Hopefully my lowest point, it can surely only get better now. 

This morning I searched for help online to get through the day and managed to deal with three major issues (major to me) by noon. I've still not dealt with OH, I'm not ready for that yet. I suppose making the appointment with the GP could be classed as another achievement, I am so resistant to the idea but I did sort of realise that everyone who I've talked to about the situation has given the same advice. see a doctor, and I am not totally stupid, honest, so when it's obvious I am the only one that thinks it's a bad idea I could perhaps be wrong. I absolutely hate the idea of any drugs or 'happy pills', so still not convinced he can make any difference but I will go. 

One silly thing that gave me hope though was an article I read on the BBC news about a lady named the 'muesli queen' a self made business woman, her story is very inspiring and she has overcome all sorts of obstacles- hopefully one day soon all this will be a distant memory. Sorry to burden you all, thanks for all the kind comments and best wishes sent too. I am a bit afraid of looking like I am just attention seeking but you are so very kind and supportive and the sort of anonymous, virtual world we are in here feels very 'safe' to open up in. 

I managed a short read back but it's a bit hard to focus. I do send you all my best wishes, especially poorly people and I hope I am back on track soon and up to joining in the banter. 


Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 04/01/2017 at 09:35

Morning All,

Don't want to bring doom and gloom to the forum but I am not feeling too good, it's emotional not physical and I just can't seem to pull myself together. I know it will be alright in the end, everyone keeps telling me so, but right now it doesn't feel alright and hiding under the bed covers seems the only thing I am up to.

If you don't hear from me for a few days don't worry, I'm just finding the burden of writing positive cheerful posts too difficult and don't want to explain all the worries and emotions I am going through. I know you are all really supportive of me, I know a whole lot of people care about me but just now I can't face anyone or anything. I need to pull myself together and try and see the positives. Hopefully be back soon. 

Hello Forkers January 2017 Edition

Posted: 01/01/2017 at 10:56

Good morning and Happy New Year to all. 

Back from my holiday in the UK, hardly any chance to access the internet so apologies for being AWOL. Charlie had a fabulous time seeing all his old friends, I enjoyed it too but made me very emotional at times and am still feeling a bit 'wobbly', 2017 seems very daunting with all it's challenges ahead. One day at a time I think is the best way to look at it. 

Anyway, I hope you have all had a fabulous time and perhaps when I get through the mountain of washing I can find time to read back on everything you've all been up to. 

Hello Forkers December

Posted: 22/12/2016 at 07:01

Good morning Dove.  Poor OH.

Day of getting last minute things today, somehow they always seem to be the trickiest. My new year resolution is to be organised for Christmas by July! 

Good day to all. 

Hello Forkers December

Posted: 21/12/2016 at 07:17


Working this morning (after a quick dash to town to pay some bills) and then this afternoon a trip to the cinema to watch a festive film with Charlie. 

Have a good day all, nearly there now Chicky. 

1 to 10 of 1,978

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