Posted: 26/06/2016 at 22:04
Hi Lizzie, thanks, don't worry though all ok. ( for now). Very very kind of you and reassuring to know you are there.
Big thanks to all contributors to the thread, all advice, shared experiences and support gratefully received.
Tricky to explain what / how the situation is here. On the surface all is normal, but massive (insurmountable and unacceptable) problems lie beneath the surface. OH likes to micro manage everything, in his eyes it is all about doing the best for us. Sadly, as over the last 12 months or so I have tried to break free of this suffocating control things got more and more difficult as he gets so upset/angry if I am not right here in the house where he can see me or not back exactly when he expects me to be.
For Charlie's sake I have tried to comply with his wishes to buffer the conflict and tension - as long as I 'did as I was told' it was always happy families. But it isn't a sustainable peace and I can't live that and the cracks were starting to show so Charlie was beginning to work things out for himself anyway.
I always try to answer Charlie honestly but soften the edges as it were, Daddy's tired, he doesn't mean to be grumpy etc. etc. I am just not ready to fully explain what our plans are to Charlie yet as I think it will be more worrisome - "We are splitting up but I don't know when or where we will live" is a bit too open ended for him. As soon as it becomes imminent (sooner rather than later I hope) we can explain it to him together and reassure him that things will be ok, different but ok.
One good thing is that for all OHs very strange ways he does adore Charlie and I am really hoping that will be the driving force in him doing the decent thing and providing for us so we can be safe and secure.
In the meantime while Charlie is about life is as normal as possible, luckily he is always busy and out at clubs or at friend's houses or has friends over here so is engrossed in that. Daddy has always worked long hours and spends hours in his office so there is an element of distance already. I won't lie to him but he doesn't need too many details, especially just yet and then he only needs to know how it affects him or enough to settle his worries.
My biggest worry right now is whilst we are so busy keeping up appearances OH will start thinking everything is ok and all my troublecausing will go away. Such a fine line to walk.
Don't want to be political at all but the Brexit outcome couldn't have come at a worse time for me, major financial implications ( house value / exchange rate) and of course all the state help I would have been entitled to should I need it is now in jeopardy not to mention health care & educational fees. I am sure it will be fine but another level of uncertainty when everything else is already uncertain.
Anyway, that's my worries for now, thank you all for allowing me to share them and being so supportive and helpful, indeed just for being there. I am (and have been all evening) up in my room like a naughty school girl feeling very isolated but not wanting to go downstairs and pretend all is normal. Tapping away on my kindle, desperately trying to keep the spellchecker under control has at least kept me occupied.
Good night all.