Posted: 30/09/2014 at 21:09
I really do think, that at times we can be our own worst enemy. Yes naturally we all have that inbuilt feeling of empathy, compassion and love. It IS very difficult to stay on top, when you see a loved one suffering, and to us as individuals. The medics could do more. Every aspect of daily life, we question it. Believe me. I share your thoughts and feelings. I really do. Do we not sometimes feel like flipping our lid, when the very one we are trying to help, gets their back up and won't budge. My old mum lived to the age of 90 and a half. For several years her eyesight became affected. In the end, the opthalmic surgeons stepped in. The consultant surgeon told me. We have fitted complete new lens in her eyes. As far as we can tell, the operation was a complete success. Mum claimed that she was still blind. The local council had fitted controlled locking system to her front door. Mum lived in a grounfloor flat just across the green from Val and I. It was not possible to be with her 24/7 In the end local nursing staff would visit twice a day. Problem. Sometimes the first vistit would be delayed so mum would be gotten up, washed dressed etc sometimes around two in the afternoon. Of course she was by this time incontinent etc. So for hours she had had to lie there in a wet bed. Then a couple of hours later, two more nurses would turn up to put mum to bed. At one point. I really did have a go. One supervisor slated me. Michael. You could change your mum, wash and care for her needs. In my book. No way. My mum was my mum. To even think about seeing her nakedness. NO. Then one halloween night. To young boys knocked on my door. Scuse me Sir. That old lady over there. We knocked at her door and she let us in. She is sitting there playing with a keyboard. Thanks lads. I'll take care of it. Over I goes and fair enough. Mum is siting there, telly on and listening. On the table was the door control gadget. Fingers poised. I had a good chat to her. Believe me, my heart was in my mouth. How come. Why is this happening to my mum? I once again tried to explain how and when to click which button. It got to the point where I grabbed her hand and pressed down hard on the buttons. To sum up. Although my memories are many. The saddest one is. What a beast I must have been. Just at that single moment. I lost control. Whatever we do, however much we love our parents or others. It seems to be a wheight/problem where we need help.