Posted: 25/08/2017 at 12:26
You don't have to pick her up to groom her . Stroking will lead you gently to stroking with a grooming glove and/or a brush.
When you do take her to your home, let her have some peace in one room where she can hide under a bed until she feels safe to come out. Make sure she has water and cat biscuits available and offer small treats to tempt her. Go in and chat and just sit or lie quietly till she gets used to her new human. Having one of those covered litter trays will help her feel safe too until she's settled enough to go out and come back in.
After 2 or 3 days - or more if you think she needs it - let her explore the rest of your home and all the new smells and safe or comfy places. try and stroke her but don't insist. Let her get used to you. Don't let her out for at least a couple of weeks.
Try the Feliway pehromones too. They didn't work for us on one adopted cat but the doggy ones have helped with our nervous adopted Lab so worth a go.
We adopted a cat a few years ago - found abandoned and starving in an out building and very fearful of people. After making her a safe and cosy bed and feeding her up for a couple of months and talking to her so she knew my voice, I managed to catch her and get her to the vets for check up and sterilisation. Kept her in a bedroom for 3 days to recover after which she stayed upstairs for 3 months before venturing out for a whole 5 minutes. It took a while but she eventually learned to enjoy cuddles and trust us. She even learned to tolerate vets for her annual check up and jabs.