Latest posts by Palaisglide

I'm very ashamed.

Posted: 12/05/2016 at 14:14

Mr Darcy????? Well I did come out of the North Sea after swimming bare chested. All loose bits vanished including fingers and toe's, chest a mass of goose pimples, knees and face purple and two crabs attached to my ears, but we NE lads are tough I would be back to normal in a week?

It would be more Mr Darcy after swimming in the Suez Canal and we did come out of the Sinai hot sweaty and dirty to find the Cantara bridge was closed, I stripped off the lot and dived in the Canal to my horror hearing female cheers as I went under. The canal is quite narrow there so raising my head found a coach load of WAAF on the other bank. What to do? I enjoyed my swim then boldly got out to a lot more cheering, when in deep s--t do what you have to do as normal, it is too late anyway.

Don't worry "J" my spurs have long since gone.


National Limerick Day!

Posted: 12/05/2016 at 11:54

PP, try the bathroom with a funnel and long pipe.


National Limerick Day!

Posted: 12/05/2016 at 11:45

My compost is something to see

Fresh hot and air flowing free

Something I learned

As it often gets turned

It improves if I go there to pee.


I'm very ashamed.

Posted: 12/05/2016 at 11:27

Not to worry "J" I was brought up with horses my Son still has them on the farm. Lazy Mares need a little gentling then a kick with the Spurs, the ones with the sharpened rowels attached.

Don't worry we all do it says he who found a bag of Tulips a year later, mind I was in hospital getting lumps cut off, no excuse really, feeling a bit under should get you out there enjoying the fresh air, very fresh here in the NE.

I would tell the young recruits (lack of knowledge I can forgive, idleness never) they got the message.


I'm very ashamed.

Posted: 12/05/2016 at 10:34

Plant Pauper, you are being naughty consider your self spanked. You should read the lazy gardener book there are a lot of laughs but some good advice even for us old hands, problem I cannot remember the Author.

Get a long tray about six inches deep fill with good compost with maybe just a dusting of bone meal, put the large bulbs (if there are any) near the bottom and build the rest up almost touching then water in.

They may only grow leaves, good they will take in the sunshine (if we get any) and fatten the bulb for next year, even if they lay forgotten through winter they will come next year.

I have a mass of Daffodils on the front lawn that have grown in number year on year providing me with a lovely show this year for four weeks, they lay hidden under a tree that over grew so had to go and then_______ lovely. NOW GET YOUR Bottom out there and plant.

Mumble good grief were do we get them from, Frank.

Troughs for tomatoes.

Posted: 11/05/2016 at 12:58

Brickman, fill the trough with compost. Those pots should then fit in the top of the trough, set one plant to a pot filling just halfway, three shoult fit nicely though two would be better. Water the trough and keep the pots just damp, providing the holes in the pot are big enough the roots grow through. As the plants grow top up the pots with fresh compost for extra feed though tomato feed will still be needed.

I grow my tomto's in twelve inch pots on a gravel bed that holds water, never failed in thirty five years where some around have lost the crop, careful feeding watching the watering and making sure of an ambient temperature takes time but worth it.


Bumpy grass

Posted: 11/05/2016 at 12:34

Monica, you need a bag of washed sand and a bag of decent compost, mix as much sand and compost in equal parts that you need. Throw shovel fulls in a sweeping movement across the lawn and then with a bass broom or the hardest broom you have sweep it into cracks and hollows. Drag something with a flat edge, abatton or even the back of a rake filling the hollows gradually. This may take several goes over a period of time if the hollows are deep you need the grass to grow through, or even seed it. Even bowling greens got hollows which we filled as described, it worked for us. Good luck,


Advice for our garden

Posted: 11/05/2016 at 10:19

Bigbob, you do have a problem the bottom line being the budget, lawns do not come cheap in any form and rectifying that would cost. Watching the new builds around me you see the builder take off all the topsoil down to clay and sell it, part of their spoils. They run all over with machines compacting it even tipping waste cement and rubblsh, then house built you get six inches of soil and rolls of cheap grass, here they also got a shed clothes line and half a dozen paves. Two years later it costs big money to get it all out and done properly.

You can prepare to do it yourself a long job or hard pave the worst area's for now, another way is to cut and turn those turves over then top with good soil and reseed, costly. The best method would be leave it until the budget increases then get some one in to prepare the ground for rolls of good turf.

Sorry I cannot give you a quick fix there isn't one, having helped maintain a bowling green plus my own two lawns knowing the hours of back breaking work needed to renew sections we would all wish for an easier way. Of course you could make the dogs wear welly's.

Good luck Frank.

New Grandson

Posted: 10/05/2016 at 14:49

Sorry Lynn60 and Ladybird, I read the wrong posting so Congratulations Lynn60.

Commiserations Ladybird I know you are only 21.

Must go to Spec-savers again.


New Grandson

Posted: 10/05/2016 at 14:46

Ladybird4, Congratulations, my Great Grandson George was born last Wednesday and another Great Grandson due anytime now in Canada, I will see George although the one due will not be back until Christmas.

Depends on the size of your garden, even young trees after 20-30 years will be thirty feet high and thirty feet canopy so you need to work it out. Apart from Olive trees I have nothing in my books to go with Ollie, Olive trees will grow here but are drab looking. Why not a fruit tree which would blossom about now the birthday and give fruit later. They can be trimmed yearly and kept in proportion with the joy of fresh fruit, children love picking fruit and eating it from the tree, well my lot do.

I love Lawsoniana  (Lawson Cypress) for their colour Golden and their shape which can be trimmed and topped to keep it within reason, it does not drop needles nor change colour in winter, I have two, though that is me your choice will differ. What ever you do once in you cannot take it with you should you move, well not without great difficulty so that needs thinking about. Shrubs last for years in pots and they can be moved on with you. My advice, stop think and choose carefully.


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