Latest posts by Palaisglide


Posted: 11/03/2017 at 13:42

Dove Brilliant I will start on it at once. Oh and some filters for the searchlight to mimic Moonlight. Any one got any old plastic Palm trees they do not want? Oh and a plastic Camel to remind me of the days my shorts were form fitting instead of just baggy as now.


Is this fair?

Posted: 11/03/2017 at 13:34

Linda yes indeed laughter is the best medicine, it is also true that behind every cloud there is a silver lining, what seems like calamity at the time often turns out for the best. I read the posts and often smile to myself, been there done that, a mill stone round the neck at the moment a balloon rising you to some place over the rainbow later.

At times these pictures come to my brain such as the incarceration of the chocolate thief Verdun, I just saw the whole picture in a flash and wrote it  as I saw it, some think we are way off subject others just think us crackers others smile they are the ones I wish to get to.

Hope you get your greenhouse up and running it is a boon, you can lose yourself for hours sowing and potting.



Posted: 11/03/2017 at 09:37

Watching GW last night they showed the Beth Chatto garden, I was interested to hear it is six acres the same size Verdun bequeathed to us all, look at what she did with six acres, wow.

Methinks my idea of wall to wall Astro Turf, hanging stage painted backdrops of hedges and trees, borders of plastic flowers and an old military searchlight to look like sunshine would not go down well with Beth.

Do you think I should change anything. All sugestions will be perused before binning.


Temporarily remove turf

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 22:49

Well he did not ask for the cash up front as some would do so he sounds OK to me, he trusted you to pay up so you must now trust him though he may charge for the paves and do the work free.


Is this fair?

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 22:44

Second childhood


Temporarily remove turf

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 15:30

This all depends on what your original instructions were. If you said lay a lawn he has done that probably realising the door would be a problem but expecting you to know about it and have plans to fix it. If you told him the door opened out then he should lay some slab or brick lower than the door, we have to be specific when ordering work to be done although a good Gardener would probably have queried the door. You may just have to pay for the work done, fit your own blocks or ask the Gardener to do it as an extra, if nothing was written down or his estimate was To Lay Lawn then I cannot see you getting any joy. Mention it see what he or she says (one never knows these days) and then ask, if it is job done as agreed then arguing will not help though a fix may be suggested, try is all you can do but you will have to pay for the work done.


Damp, soggy low corner of lawn

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 15:14

Is the bad corner in the shade which way does the sun move around the garden and yes you will find modern builders compact the base with machinery never re-dig it lay the thinnest top soil on then turf. It usually ends up in time digging it all out laying drainage lifting the soil depth then laying a proper lawn.

For now, most lawns are very wet and you should keep off it until it dries out a bit that means any work will be done in around a months time or even later depending on which part of the UK you live. I would remove the turf from under the fence panels as it has no chance, I am assuming that is the damp corner, dig out a bit of the soil lay a membrane and use some sort of slate or pebble filling this will tidy up and help drain it a bit. Or you could start a border with some plants that will take some of the water up. You have all lawn and paving, the water has nowhere to go and the amount that has fallen this winter it is bound to be wet.

That is only emergency advice as any major work will depend on your finances and time to do the work, there is no quick fix, draining properly will mean removing large bits of the lawn and then re-laying again where would you drain it too? Borders are ideal and will take a lot of the water falling on the lawn, the plants or small fruit trees if that fence gets any sun will take up surplus water.

Sorry to tell it as it is any quick fixes will be just that and you will be doing it again next year, lawns take work as mine do and they were put down properly. Good luck.


Is this fair?

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 14:15

Learnt it the hard way Verdun writing Patrol reports for the Unit War Diary. Left perimeter at 22:31, with Patrol of six men, no moon, set off for known infiltration track. One click out sudden attack from rear, gave order to take cover and ready weapons, discovered it was Private Blob yet again discharging weapon unintentionally. Threatened to bayonet him without entrance wound as I would use existing hole in his miserable body. Patrol now useless returned to perimeter, accidentally clobbered private Blob's earl with Butt of Rifle, nothing to report Sir or Cur depending on how mad I was.

You live and learn lad.


Is this fair?

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 10:11

To day a Policeman called, "are you Verdun" "err yes" Did you at an unspecified time yesterday purloin and masticate a large bar of Chocolate. Guilty as charged hoficer, you will accompany me and the armed response team to the nick in our very black Maria. On knees pleading, Hoficer it was only a small bar, "err well maybe this big" stretching arms out, but there were mitigating circumstances. "Oh what were they" well it was there looking inviting. That is no defence my Police woman Partner is standing here looking very inviting, are you going to eat her. Verdun do not put ideas in my head, Police woman simpers I mean Verdun keeps telling us he is handsome well so where some of Londons cabs.

Handcuffs applied, armed response unload weapons Policewoman takes Verdun in a very tight grip, one arm up his back and the other hand clutching his rear end in a not very loving grasp. "OOER hoficer is that your hand or your teeth I have heard of love bites but that it a bit heavy" shut your chocolate covered face and get in the van. Verdun disappears in a haze of black exhaust as they whip the horses into action and they do what horses do, hard luck on the driver up front and hard luck on Verdun locked in the back with Amorous Police woman.

Will he reach the lock up in one piece, will his eyes be shining or black, will the horse make it up the hill to Pendennis Castle or fall into Falmouth Bay. Tune in next week for the next exciting episode.


What is your weather like? (2)

Posted: 10/03/2017 at 09:49

I took one look and knew the suns gone astray

One look and knew today would be a dull day

Cleveland Hills have vanished a sea mist covers the bay

Cool and damp cannot see this going away

Not a day to make hay as they say, here in Stockton.

Apologies to the Song writers, had to stop in mid verse as my Porridge was done.


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