Latest posts by sotongeoff

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 14:03


Right -having lightened the mood-slightly- did anyone read about the blind man who got tasered for carrying a white stick-the police for it was a sword-there had been reports of someone seen carrying a sword-he wants the policeman charged with manslaughter-there seems to be a slight flaw in the argument?

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 13:50

Becks-don't know -just copied it-perhaps Guy is a pseudonym for Grace?

when should I prune Buddleia ?

Posted: 18/10/2012 at 13:48

Quite honestly-you can't kill a buddleia-I have pruned in autumn and in the spring-it still comes back

To me it doesn't make much difference-so would do it now

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 13:45
A Woman's Poem

He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't make the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and
smacked him one

Like his mother used to do.

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 13:42
  1. Here are Will and Guy's favourite schoolboy howlers.  These are funny answers to exam questions, were culled by teachers reading through 1,000s of answers.  Here are their moments of fun amid tedious schoolboy writing.
  2. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
  3. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
  4. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but another man of that name.
  5. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot.
  6. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
  7. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.
  8. InIn midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
  9. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ids of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: 'Tee hee, Brutus.'
  10. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.  Moses then went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
  11. Gravity was invented by Issaac Walton.  It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn.
  12. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.


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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 13:38


Here is a copy of Mummy's note, the next day, for the teacher:

Dear Miss Greenwood,

That is not a dance pole on stage in a dancing club. I work at B&Q and that's me selling a shovel.

Yours faithfully, Sarah Fogarty.

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 13:30

Video of the day

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 12:06

Jo-I am puzzled -how did the windscreen washers get filled up over the years-did the fairies do it?


Posted: 18/10/2012 at 12:03

Have you got the corms?

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Posted: 18/10/2012 at 11:47

I think the reservoirs must now be full,the rivers flowing, all is well with the world- no hosepipe bans next year

Isn't this all part of Dave's master plan-you can now shoot a burglar but can't kick him to death as lies bleeding on the floor?

Soon be time for paper-chains

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