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Canary Island Date Palm might fit the bill and is fast growing. Not fully hardy so will possibly need some winter protection.
It might be myrtus better known as myrtle.
Wait until the leaves have gone or you will damage future growth. The green leaves are feeding the bulb so need to be left to grow and die off naturally. This will take at least 6 weeks after the flowers have gone.
Try the ACME THUNDERER cure ( referee's whistle ). One good blast works wonders.
If your heap is easily accessible you could try gently raking off a layer at a time which should give your guests time to flee. If possible waiting for a warm day when that they are more alert might help too.
Look up vine eye cuttings. It is basically a very short cutting with just one bud and is less successful than using a longer hardwood cutting. However if the stalks you have don't have any buds this won't work.
Surprised Verdun didn't beat us both to it!
Tregothnan is a commercial tea plantation which can supply tea bushes as well as an experience day. https://tregothnan.co.uk/plants-trees/tea-bushes/
Nothing from here (yet!) but over the years - two holidays to Paris, two lots of hi-fi, ski gear and regular (minimum) prizes from Ernie.
Not exactly a pond but the old barbeque doubles as a bird bath during the winter. First time I have ever seen a roe deer drink. Wasn't so happy when he went on to eat my newly emerged crocus .