Posted: 31/08/2014 at 18:56
Verdun - I really feel for you and all the others going through similar trials - as you may have guessed I too have the T-shirt.
I think we all understand what you mean by the 'guilt' but, if you are considering a good home for your mum where she can be cared for in safety by qualified staff with the right equipment, then there is nothing to feel guilty about.
My father pleaded for me to take him home - that was so hard to take. But (in addition to his confusion) he was so unsteady on his feet and needed constant physical support to do everything from personal care to walking. I'm 5' tall & totally unable to lift or support a fully grown man on my own. If he'd come home with me we would both have ended up in hospital and I would have ended up hating him for ruining my life.
Does that sound very selfish? - I'm sorry if it does - but I was part of the social work team dealing with elderly people in our area. I saw what looking after aged parents without appropriate help or support could do to people - how it dragged them down and how everybody (including the aged P) just ended up being so unhappy & full of guilt.
You are trying to do the right thing, you are trying to do your best - you really cannot do anymore.
Really squeezy hugs!!