Posted: 09/10/2013 at 17:55
There are a lot of interesting points in your post. First, apple trees like all living things, have a fixed life span and no amount of cosmetic work is going to turn your granny into a sex goddess. The eating apple had no fruit last year but lots this year. This is probably caused by a phenomenon known as biennial bearing. Some varieties slip into this naughty habit more readily than others and once they have the idea it is hard to persuade them to behave properly. If you like the type of apple it produces then it's maybe worth putting up with this. On the other hand, you could just buy another tree and have a more reliable crop from a more modern variety, which will probably be healthier too.
The cooker got the chop, literally, but is still alive. It sounds as if it is now frantically sending up what are known as "water shoots" - great long, whippy things that are going skyward. Quite frankly, any company worth its salt would know that this is not the way to treat an apple tree. The shape of the plant is ruined, the water shoots will never produce fruit, the thing is a mess. Get rid of it.
If it were my garden I would ask myself if I liked the eater for its architectural merit (you say it is in the wrong place and loose in the ground, so no to that) or if I really liked its fruit and no other would please me. If not, then I'd buy a new one. The cooker is ruined, so buy a new one of those too. Make sure that they are compatible, that is in the same pollination group and flowering at the same time.