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grotesque.A smallish tree reaching only about 20m tall, the field maple has a bark as fissured as the face of W.H. Auden, with a slightly corky texture. The flowers are nothing much to write home about, being little greeny numbers that turn up at the same

It’s all looking rather still and damp in the garden now. Autumn, it seems, has come at last. Over the Guy Fawkes weekend, there were reports on iSpot and Flickr of red admirals and hoverflies visiting the sun-lit ivy, but, in my garden at least

gingery, dull red colour.Lily beetles are certainly enjoying the conditions this year – I’ve seen the damage on my lilies, even though I haven’t seen the beetles themselves. They start by eating the foliage, then the flowers, followed by the seed pods

companies is that most of the varieties come as mixtures. That means a packet contains a kaleidoscope of colours, and you can't tell what colour a plant will be until it actually flowers - fine if you want a flower bed reminiscent of Joseph's Amazing

: it is about 3m high and has gloriously scented tubular white flowers in Autumn, lush Autumn colour and bright red berries. Or Gentiana farreri, a trailing evergreen delight with flowers like sky blue fanfares? These are just two of the plants that Reginald

major disaster has come to light. Due to a mix up in the bulb warehouse, a batch of tulips that should have been pure white Tulipa 'Purissima' turned out to be unidentified huge-flowered red things, which do not agree at all with the neighbouring pink

woad body paint terrorising Romans. The plant from which this comes is Isatis tinctoria and, oddly, it is not even faintly blue, but very yellow.I was reminded of this by a quick preview visit to Jekka McVicar's stand at this year's Chelsea Flower Show

blues, and speckled woods.The hoverflies have appeared in earnest, and bumbles, wasps and solitary bees are everywhere. There is an audible hum, usually only heard in June. They are all squabbling over the raspberry flowers. Pond-skaters are frolicking

, which was a gift from Sid the blackbird. But they’re a long way off flowering and fruiting. Only the honeysuckle has a supply of berries, which isn’t much to sustain local birds.Small, manageable options for my garden include hawthorn, pyracantha

vegetables also make good additions to the border - asparagus has gorgeous ferny foliage and artichoke flowers are bee magnets(Jerusalem artichokes are, however, excluded due to the possibility of indelicate post-prandial thunderings).Less obvious