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Gardeners' musings

Spring flowers - my least favourites

Posted by: James Alexander-Sinclair, 25 March 2008, 01.26PM

Tulip tarda flower I think it is time for another deeply prejudiced personal rant about my least favourite plants. Spring is, if not exactly just around the corner, then definitely packed, dressed and on its way.

With the spring comes the return to our gardens of colour and life; in the majority of cases this is to be welcomed. Hooray for the resurgence of tulips, whoopee for the return of the rose and yippee for the arrival of annuals.

However, there are some plants which I am not looking forward to seeing again. For example my heart sinks at the first flash of a forsythia - such a violent yellow (like being mugged by a sunbeam), such horribly knobbly bark and such extraordinarily dreary leaves for the rest of the summer. As well as these unedifying qualities it is unlucky in that its flowering coincides with the flowering of daffodils and by that time I have had enough of yellow.

I adore tulips. The photograph above, by the way, is of a species of tulip called tarda and is there, not because it is ugly but because it makes me feel better. There are some exceptions to my love of tulips: some have got a bit above themselves and, instead of elegant bowls, look more like samba-dancing sea creatures. You may remember a lady called Gertrude Shilling who used to appear at Ascot in a series of hats that were so extraordinary as to be very close to ridiculous (as well as being unsuited to wear in a stiff breeze); parrot tulips have the same combination of exhibitionism and impracticality.

Another shrub that makes my heart sink is the flowering currant with its limply hanging pink flowers. Not only is it extremely boring but the slightest contact with the leaves releases an unmistakable smell of cat pee. (I could just about accept Ribes sanguineum King Edward VII if I was tied to a chair and whipped with an electric flex).

I could go on but may come over as unnecessarily curmudgeonly. To conclude: any daffodil with pink in it should be burnt and wishy washy variegated phormiums should be recycled prior to germination.

However, I may well be mistaken...

Comments

  • kaycurtis20002000

    25 March 2008, 10.38PM

    It's strange seeing other people hate all the beautiful colours on this earth and I have to say I love them all, soft and delicate bright and fiery and bold and garish and Oh! how a blind person would love to see all of these wonderful creations.

  • Christine, Edenbridge Kent

    26 March 2008, 02.39PM

    I enjoy James Alexander-Sinclairs' writing very much, and a great sense of humour too.

  • Sophie, Woking Surrey

    27 March 2008, 02.39PM

    Horah to ridding the world of forsythias!!! I have just massacred mine and thank goodness i did. Hideous ugly plant.

  • Grannyanne

    27 March 2008, 08.53PM

    Dear James, I love your turn of phrase (and actually enjoy being 'mugged by a sunbeam!) I even like forsythia's knobbly bark. Have to agree about the flowering currant, but haven't yet met anyone who likes - or even notices - the smell of Hypericum Hidcote foliage. I think it's lovely!

  • Suzanne

    27 March 2008, 09.00PM

    I LOVE daffodils but prefer the tete ta tete variety, love 'grape hyacynths'...yellow and blue together is the best sight of spring each year. However, I have to agree with the comments about forsythia and ribes.....but then again, any colour that marks the emergence of Spring....bring it on!!

  • The Garden Monkey

    27 March 2008, 09.12PM

    Hear, hear to Christine from Edenbridge. If you like his writing his new book is a treat

  • Grecofilly

    29 March 2008, 09.25AM

    It always amuses me that some people are so offended by the sight of Forsythia in bloom! Come on folks- live and let live! I welcome their contribution and am always "cheered" by their appearance along our urban streets. They seem to bloom in defiance,boldly stating their right to exist.To me they are one of the reminders, after a dark winter,that Spring is on its way and there are better things to come!

  • St. George's School Gardening Club, Hertfordshire

    31 March 2008, 07.39PM

    My neighbours' forsythia is almost as tall as my bedroom windowsill, but it does give us some privacy from one another! I think when something has become so popular that it is seen so commonly in so many gardens we can become over-whelmed by it's appearance and start to hate it!

    Another plant that has fallen out of popularity or fashion is the pampas grass, for bizaar and ridiculous reasons, ranging from "chav-ness" to apparently being representative of the home-owners association with a rather sleezy club pastime!!!

    What a load of rot!!! I have just bought myself a lovely pink fluffy pampass --- can you get more chavvy than that??? And wall-flowers were considered, not so long ago, as a really "old-lady-ish" plant, and quite naff! I have planted a whole gaggle of these in red and white either side of our school chapel doorway, and they look really green and lush. When the flowers come, I hope everyone will feel uplifted rather than "old-ladyish"!!!!

  • Liz

    26 April 2008, 09.09AM

    We get hours of amusement watching local sparrows tugging at the fluffy remains of our neighbour's pampas grass, sometimes falling off backwards in their efforts to get a bit more nesting material. No, I don't like those grasses either, but they seem to be very useful to the birds.

  • Mark Mulholland

    30 April 2008, 06.30PM

    After recently moving to a new property with a run down garden which was full of forsythias I can sympathise with James.They have become so common they are almost like a weed.I did keep one as I felt so guilty tearing up perfectly healthy plants.They are a rather dull plant I agree, though they are a plant and as all keen gardener will agree they have there own unique beauty and I suppose they have their place .

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