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28/05/2013 at 10:44

G/G, The worst fear is the fear of fear itself, we could wrap the kids in cotton wool and never let them out of our sight, they would become paranoid, never be streetwise and worst of all never know the excitement of adventure.
When my very quiet Granddaughter took her gap year from Uni and went round the world I was reading her computer dairy every night worried to death I need not have she had a wonderful time, came back a much more open and happy person saying she had never seen anything bad.
As an 18 year old soldier you learned that jumping at every unexpected happening did not ease anything so you pushed fear aside and got on with what you had to do.
Our children are learning from us and each other, schools are very aware of the dangers outside the schools ( mainly mad mothers dropping their kids from 4x4's into the classroom and to h@## with all others) and they do teach the children what to watch out for.
It was always so, we may think we had a safer life although children did go missing and murdered, we did not have the wall to wall media back then reporting it all.
Children like adventure, they think as we all did they are fireproof it is another way of learning and we have to give them the freedom they at times crave.
It is often said and I do not know if it is true that children have most to fear from family and friends of family, how do we tell them that?


28/05/2013 at 14:52

Just reading another thread which has prompted my moan.  It will not be shared by all, perhaps by no-one else. BBQ's. Why, when the sun comes out, so do the bl..dy BBQ's.  Yesterday afternoon/evening, all you could smell was food cooking.  Unfortunately, neighbour with yapping dog likes to do fish.  It stank the garden out.  People complain about bonfires, but I find BBQ's far, far worse.  Cannot see the point of them.



28/05/2013 at 14:59

It is a different world to the one we grew up in. My daughter now 24 is always reading there are books everywhere. She has to show me how to do things on the computor, dont know what im going to do when she leaves home. at this moment in time it doesnt look very likely so i wont worry yet.I remember as a child going out on our bikes and not coming home for hours and my parents never worried. You cant do that today.

Another moan from yesterday are neighbours children screaming their haeds off all day long. Got so fed up with it i came back indoors, shame when it was such a lovely day

28/05/2013 at 15:11

Sorry TT can,t agree about the BBQ,s we get so little sunny warm days to use the

BBQ.s and yesterday was a Bank Holiday,I can think of a lot worse smells than that o

f sausages and burgers.

Maud ....shame you felt you needed to come back indoors,were they screaming or just playing.

28/05/2013 at 15:39

Tina, don't worry, they will all end up in A&E with food poison from raw undercooked food, or stuff sat in the sun too long, I am with you on the oily smell of the things.
Cover the stuff with BBQ sauce bung it in the oven and cook it properly without upsetting the neighbours.
BBQ's are for Australia or California where it is way to hot to cook inside in fact just way too hot, had hot now prefer nice cool UK although without the stink of the BBQ.


28/05/2013 at 15:50

Trampolines   You put up a 6 foot fence so you can have some privacy and before you know it a neighbour buys a trampoline, puts it as far away from their own house so the noise doesn`t disturb them and hey presto these little heads keep appearing above the parapet shouting hello everytime they see you.

28/05/2013 at 16:22

Oh dear Palaisglide you have obviously had a bad BBQ experience,we don,t have one very often,but the food is always cooked through,and never sits in the sun.

I think the worst oily smell is that disgusting aroma from vans selling doughnuts or donuts as they now say,That brings me to another rant,I hate the way words have become "Americanised"

28/05/2013 at 18:37

Personally, with regard to barbecues, I think that if neighbours have to take in the washing or get it ruined, that is a bit antisocial. Screaming kids sre pretty irritating, too. Children can't talk quietly and adults just have to tolerate the noise. obviously, children have to play and people are entitled to cook in the garden now and again. We are caravanners and, on a campsite, people are camped pretty close together and many of them like to barbecue in the evenings. It is just something that has to be lived with. Same with trampolines. All one can hope for is that people behave with some consideration. Trouble is that as we get a little older, we like peace and quiet more and more, and we have the time to enjoy it. 



28/05/2013 at 18:48

I knew I would come under fire.   All taken in good part Gilly.

Frank, you wouldn't get food poisoning when my Daughter and SIL have a barbeque or any meal for that matter, as they cremate everything. If it's not charred, it's not ready.

I'm fortunate not to have screaming kids, although they do have a trampoline next door.  I usually end up chatting to the two lads whilst they show me all sorts of tricks they can do.  They aren't noisy so I don't mind.  Pleasant boys. But as you probably already know, it's the yapping dogs I have to contend with, one in particular.  Have just bought a new cooking timer which sounds like a rooster.  Really loud. So when I'm in the garden next and the dog starts, I'm going to set my timer off.  My daughter thinks I've lost it.

28/05/2013 at 18:53

Good idea, TT!  You can also get gadgets that send a high pitched sound inaudible to humans but irritating to dogs - we've got one we use to shut up one of our dogs when he barks.

28/05/2013 at 19:00

Hi GG. What is most annoying is that the owners are, of course, aware of the yapping but do absolutely nothing about it.  It can yap for anything up to 30 mins - on and on with me shouting to shut the bl..dy animal up.  This will be the fourth year.  Should have said something the second year, but found it a bit awkward.  Left it too long now.  Will have a look for that gadget,

28/05/2013 at 20:10

For yapping, you need a distraction, and a big shout of NO! or Quiet! at the same time.  for example, keys thrown onto concrete, pop bottle full of gravel rattled sharply, or, if you've the money and you really want them to shut the f*** up, you can get compressed air, quick blast of that onto their neck,and the command word.

It's not difficult to do, but so many dog owners can't slide into an animal's head.  You have to do something into shocking them into quiet, and use the command word at the same time.  Not easy if you aren't the owner (if the alpha male/female does it, they learn really quickly).  Taught an owner to stop her dog 'going' for other dogs in about 10 minutes (when on holiday), teach the owners and the problem's solved.  Max will only disobey and continue barking if the person at the door smells wrong (fear), the more scared they are, the more agitated he gets.  Am trying to get one of small boy's friends to not be scared of dogs any more (a GSD went for him when he was about 2), unfortunately Max is half GSD, so looks big and scary.  He might look the part, a bigger softie I've yet to meet.  I can't go anywhere, he's fallen asleep on my feet, he's that big and scary - daft and hairy more like.

28/05/2013 at 20:32

Where did you learn to train dogs, MMP?

28/05/2013 at 21:25

MMP, my daugher has trained all her dogs re barking, etc, so I know it can be done.  She used to spray water in their faces to stop them, which is what the trainer told her to do. They eventually got the message.  Were there today, along with 2 extra kids and 4 adults and not a peep. They will, of course, bark if something disturbs them, which is what you expect a dog to do.  One will bark if he sees a fox, but not constantly. It's all down to the owner.

28/05/2013 at 21:35

Well - as we all know after the hideous death of that poor old man the other day- the owners are always the problem.

The screaming,unruly children have the same problem- the thoughtless inconsiderate owners..I mean parents.

A little gardening related quote I heard many years ago- 'children need to be raised, not left to grow - like weeds'.

28/05/2013 at 22:04

'children need to be raised, not left to grow - like weeds'.

How true FG. Sometimes wonder why parents have children.

28/05/2013 at 23:09

TT, parents do not have children, children have parents!! at their beck and call, as taxis, as loan agents with no chance of getting it back, as a shoulder to cry on when things do not go their way and as cheap, very cheap baby sitters when their own wee ones get in the way of them and their right to have a life. Am I biased of course I am not, "err" much.

Dogs need a short sharp shock, a double barrelled shot gun comes in handy, you can fire into the air if you wish??

BBQ's I have done many in my time, I would fill two ovens to cook off the meat then finish it on the BBQ with appropriate sauce drowning it, I got many compliments on well cooked meat and cooked but unburnt sausage, I never told them and Joan would be laughing her head off as they tucked into it all, the salad came out at the last minute from the fridge in the garage, yes we were organised.
The last good BBQ was in California up in the forest with real Yankee steak cooked to a turn and they had the biggest fridge in the biggest mobile home I had ever seen. Herb doing the cooking lit the BBQ nearly two hours before he cooked on it which was the secret, get those coals white hot and not smoking.


29/05/2013 at 00:20

GG, not really 'learnt' to train dogs by going to classes, but by growing up with them.  I seem to find it easy to slide into a dog's brain and know what's going on in there.  I have sworn at the telly when dog borstal has been on, there is the odd rogue dog that's not trainable (my Mum's Skye terrier that tried to bite me when I was 4 is one example), but they are few & far between.  The only dog we've had problems with is Max, and we took him to a dog shrink, he didn't really tell us anything we didn't know, he couldn't decide if the constant barking when we were out was separation anxiety or the kids playing football in the street.  In the end we think it WAS separation anxiety, after all, he was a rescue and had been around a bit, when he worked out he was in his forever home, he settled down.  He knows what 'going shopping' means, an knows we'll be back, and is usually on the sofa before the front door has shut.  If he had thumbs he'd be looking for 'Zoo vet' or somthing with the remote.

The biggest problem you find with dogs is weak owners.  A dog that's in it's place, right at the bottom of the pack, is a happy dog.  No need to worry about defending the place, raising puppies, keeping your place as top dog, finding food for the rest of the pack....bliss, for a dog.  Remembering a dog is a wolf with centuries of domestication helps, as there are other important roles in the pack.  Beta male and female, rounder-upper, and mediator are some.  Bracken was a mediator when she was around, and Max is definitely beta male (or deputy dawg as he's sometimes known as).  My favourite has definitely got to be GSD, or crossbreeds with GSD in there somewhere.  I'd never have a border collie, I don't want a dog that's smarter than I am.  We think Max is a mix of collie and GSD, had I known the mix I doubt we would have taken him on (we thought at first he was GSD and Dobermann).

Anyway, some random rants

* People who light a fag the minute they get out of a shopping centre - can you not wait until you're more than 5 feet away from the doors before lighting your vile cancer sticks?

* People out shopping who suddenly stop in random places with no warning

* Other drivers (in particular, doing 30 on a motorway, not bothering to indicate - I know which way you're going, I'm f*****g psychic, doing 40 in a 30 zone)

* Misuse of the apostrophe (heavens, it's not hard, you take some letters out, put an apostrophe in, use it to show possession, and NEVER use it for plurals).


29/05/2013 at 06:06


Can your dog do this?


29/05/2013 at 07:24

Brilliant, Swiss long did it take to train to do this?,can it hoover and dust as well?..........this has got to be the ultimate pet