London (change)
20/11/2012 at 17:17

Jo, mine's only weightwatchers but it does help to keep me on track. Usually cake day is after the weigh in!!

On 21st December the Oak King will defeat the Holly King and then, as you say, Geoff, we are on the way back. Always a bit of a slog through Jan and Feb, though.

Inka, I was just wondering how many hours 'behind' us you are - and now I know.

20/11/2012 at 17:34

Geoff!.....I shall not be throwing any post's this evening! 

Beck's!.....Ya wanna see the size of some of them tyre's! some are as big as me!  n thought better left to the guy's who turn up in a van, always have knotted greasy hair, look like they haven't bathed in weeks, wear blue surgical gloves n always have builder's bum syndrome! 

What an attractive life I lead!

B'J!.... Was in the wagon, not a car! n had time to kill!

But home at last! Survived the day! n the two little guy's were here to greet on my arrival, so it all ended on a plus note! 



20/11/2012 at 18:09

Glad all sorted Dean.

I didnt know that not all new cars these days actually had spare tyres in the boot. I know some only have the space-saving type to get you a short distance, but some dont actually even have that! They have a repair kit of sorts!

I asked daughter if her car does have a spare- she's no idea! Still it passed it's first MOT ok, but I suggested she actually check. She says she wouldnt know how to/or be able to change a tyre. I know how to, just not strong enough to do it- but it could help if she had a puncture & was able to say if she did have a spare or not. Pleased to say that my cars' manufacturer always supplies a spare.

Right off to turn on the Remoska, yet again! J.

20/11/2012 at 18:11


The Real 12 Days of Christmas

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With deepest love and devotion,


Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love,


Dearest John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I really must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

Love, Agnes

Dear John,

Today the postman delivered 4 calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful but don't you think enough is enough. You're being too romantic.



Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered 5 golden rings; one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love,


Dear John:

When I opened the door there were actually 6 geese a-laying on my front steps. So, you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbours are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.




What's with you and those flaming birds? 7 swans a-swimming. What kind of God damned joke is this? There's bird shit all over the house, and they never stop with the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop with those flaming birds.



O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a-milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a-milking, but they had to bring their God damned cows. There is shit all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house.

Just lay off me, smart ass.


Hey! Shithead,

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's 9 pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. They cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbours have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours,


You Rotten Git

Now there's 10 ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been with those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got the diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why this building shouldn't be condemned. I'm getting the police on you.

One who means it.

Listen! Dickhead,

What's with the 11 lords a-leaping on those maids and ladies. Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing all sorts of things with the cows. All 23 of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten, vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy,


Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of 12 fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein.The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached warrant for you arrest.


Badger, Bender and Cahole

20/11/2012 at 18:17


Reading through posts can tell weather not fit to garden. What a load of bored Forkers we are.

20/11/2012 at 18:54

Not bored -quite happy most of the time -occasionally get fed-up but who doesn't?

There is not much gardening to be done-well nothing that won't wait anyway-this thread is my therapy in the meantime

Dean-how long did you have to wait?

Jo -your daughter should know-what would she do if she had a puncture?

20/11/2012 at 18:59

Not long fellow Forkers!

Trying to be upcast n upbeat!! last years early sowings!

Don't ya just love spring!

 Bring next season on!

20/11/2012 at 19:00

About two hours Geoff! So not that bad!

20/11/2012 at 19:14

Ha ha ha Dean. I can see your fingers itching to get started. Mine are too.

Now full up from dinner. Was a bit of a mix and match from the freezer until Asda come in the morning.


20/11/2012 at 19:24

I need entertaining until 9pm- can that be arranged?

20/11/2012 at 19:35

Well Jess has got her sleepy head on, and keeps asking for cuddles, so you can't rely on me I'm afraid.

20/11/2012 at 19:37

Beck's!.... Drives me mad when not allowed to play!

Geoff!..... your on your own 






























Beck's! Drives me mad when ! Can't garden! 

Geofff! Your on ya tod if nobody is willing!

My bed is screaming! 





20/11/2012 at 19:41

That is a big yawn Dean

20/11/2012 at 19:45

What happened there!!!

20/11/2012 at 19:53


20/11/2012 at 19:57

Silent Night, no-one's in sight

Geoff wants fun

Someone might

Jess wants cuddles so Becks has said

Deans so tired he's gone to bed

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

20/11/2012 at 20:03
Can not be held responsible! Only sent a post! WTF! Night all!
20/11/2012 at 20:09


Dean is irresponsible


20/11/2012 at 20:09

Night Dean

 Do you think he's gone?

20/11/2012 at 20:13

Don't talk too loud-you'll wake him and he will want more cuddles or a glass of milk